Harvard study: the key to happiness is love and interpersonal relationships

[couldntthinkofaname]

"The big takeaway from the decades of research and millions of dollars spent on the famous Grant Study is that, as the Beatles sang, all you need is love. It was not money or status that determined a good life. Those who were happiest and healthier reported strong interpersonal relationships, while those who were isolated had declines in mental and physical health as they aged. In November 2015, Robert Waldinger, the director of the program, shared that key finding in a widely popular Ted Talk that has been viewed close to 14 million times — there's clearly an appetite for learning what to prioritize to have more fulfilling lives"


https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...ves-but-researchers-say-theres-more-to-learn/






i mean its obvious but still

 

[FullFat]

LOL I'm soooooo fucked then. I knew it! Gotta tell my psychiatrist that my belief has Harvard Motherfucking University's seal of approval.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

well humans are designed by evolution to be social beings. socialising and deep emotional connections in particular are a basic needs like food or water

so no surprise here

 

[FullFat]

well humans are designed by evolution to be social beings. socialising and deep emotional connections in particular are a basic needs like food or water

so no surprise here

Well, no it's not surprising, but I just love beating up my psychiatrist verballly, and this is one way to do it.

 

[typx]

I knew this. But to see it in black and white.. sucks.

 

[throwaway123]

wow, what a suprise. I figured this shit out on my own without millions of dollars and years of research.

 

[Slacker]

"Those who were happiest and healthier reported strong interpersonal relationships, while those who were isolated had declines in mental and physical health as they aged"

Those who are happy and healthy have strong interpersonal relationships...
Those who have a bad mental and physical health are isolated...

vice versa?
causality?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

"Those who were happiest and healthier reported strong interpersonal relationships, while those who were isolated had declines in mental and physical health as they aged"

Those who are happy and healthy have strong interpersonal relationships...
Those who have a bad mental and physical health are isolated...

vice versa?
causality?

well te study lasted almost 80 years

im pretty sure the controlled for this and looked what appeared first....contrary to popular beliefs harvard scientist arent that stupid...

however if you have a mental illness or a chronic physical illess you are ofc more likely to social isolate yourself...whigh will speed up the decline


i mean look at the most extrem form of social isolation, solitary confinement in prison..normal people go in and when they come out they are vegetables

socialising is crucial for mental and physical health.

 

[Slacker]

im pretty sure the controlled for this and looked what appeared first....

yes probably. I just quoted the article...

u can send me the doi ... maybe I can find out which student made mistakes collecting the data :P

socialising is crucial for mental and physical health.

So it doesn't matter which disease u have. U Just need to socialize! Its that easy ;)

If someone tells u that he is happy. How do u measure it? In 1 minute im happy and I would say "yes I am happy" and in the other minute im really down and I would answer "no im depressed". Introspection failure.

Scientists always try to measure everything and to classify and then there is just speculation and statistics and lies and just ahhhh.... fuck that. Measuring Emotions is nearly impossible.

And maybe life isn't just about being happy. Maybe it is nearly impossible to be always happy. Maybe Life is just about surviving? Maybe my relationships made me suicidal??? Maybe they could the reason for all my problems and not the solution?

Maybe maybe maybe...

there is not the one and only solution to the happiness-problem. (suicide, maybe)

The Problem with Happiness is, that it comes and goes. The more u try to hold it the quicker it disappears.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

@Slacker

socialising isnt a garantuee for a happy life but social isolation is almost a garantuee for mental problems and a very big risk factor for depression. put someone in solitary confinement and after a few month/years this person will develop some srs problems - even if they would have access to a computer and internet.

and the study speaks explicit about good and deep human relationships - superficial* or even abusive relationships dont have that positiv effect


*even though in younger groups the quantity counts
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25774426

 

[Slacker]

thanks for the link... but I think I won't read it because its too exhausting because its in English :)

and also I know that this won't help me with my problem of being depressed.

isolation is almost a garantuee for mental problems

And exactly this is an completely different statement compared to:
"the key to happiness are interpersonal relationships"

The first one is really easy to prove.
The second one is not.

Just because isolation can be really bad for a human being, doesn't mean automatically that relationships are THE KEY to happiness.

Dalai Lama still is the happiest Person and he was even when he was in Prison. There were many people in the past who lived alone isolated. Just because they wanted it, wanted to be near to god... and it worked out for some of them.

So u would have to specify this further:
Forced isolation is a guarantee....

But for some people in the psychiatry it seems too help too when u isolate them from others...

so u still have to specify further...

and so on...

There is not the ONE and ONLY KEY to be happy.

Every human being and problem is unique...

speaking for myself:
it was a long har road out of hell...
and I had to learn a lot of new things about myself I didn't know before and new strategies to improve my life even thinking strategies helped a lot...

but im still not suitable for any deeper relationship..
but im more happy than 2 years ago.

and the study speaks explicit about good and deep human relationships - superficial* ...

And this further specification is the point where it starts to get vague...
How do u want to define what is a "good" and what is a "bad" what is a "deep" and what is a "superficial" relationship???
In the end its always:
"if relationships doesn't work for u, than U r the problem, LOL. Our Study is correct!"

It´s always the same form of reasoning (wrong translation?) form of argumentation.

maybe it´s just the article from the Washington post which I absolutely can't relate to...
maybe the study is correct... but in the end? who cares? I mean: everyone knows that relationships are important... the problem is to build up such relationships to others when u are chronically depressed. Chicken-Egg Problem? Devils circle...

or is self-isolation maybe just an completely normal and human protective mechanism?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

@Slacker


there a probably a lot of people with no high school diploma who earn enough money. however if i made a statistically survey/study i probably would claim that there is not only a correlation but causalty between the degree and later income.

id claim: the higher the degree the higher the later income (in average). the outliers wouldnt make this statement less valid.

 

[Midnight]

Decades of loneliness and depression led me to the same conclusion. I'm fucked.

 

[mattwitt]

Here's a horrible experiment I read about in a book once.
http://stpauls.vxcommunity.com/Issue/Us-Experiment-On-Infants-Withholding-Affection/13213

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

there some interesting documentaries about solitary confinement ... all these tough guys, psychopath etc who are confident that they will get through with it at the beginning start to through excrements through their sell and cutting themself after 3month

 

[mattwitt]

there some interesting documentaries about solitary confinement ... all these tough guys, psychopath etc who are confident that they will get through with it at the beginning start to through excrements through their sell and cutting themself after 3month

One thing I've notice about the angry violent tough guy type is that if they don't have a woman in their life that takes care of them like a mother and a prostitute they totally fall apart at the seams become a train wreck and turn to alcohol and other drugs really fast

 

[Slacker]

the outliers wouldn´t make this statement less valid.

in my opinion the Happiness-statement is just too generalized and won´t help the most people in a life phase with an existential crisis.

Maybe a few academics with a high Harvard income, living in nice house, driving a mercedes having the possibility to afford everything they want being together with a beautiful super young Taiwanese Ex-Stripper will profit through it because they start to realize that all their money is just abstract shit and their materialism just didn't work for more than a few years to make them happy compared to real good and deep relationships... but I don´t need to study to realize something like that. :P

I know a lot of this good earning academic assholes. And most of them are egoistic lying bastards. Thats the key to being successful. :)
Because most of them are not super intelligent. They are just normal.

You could also say, that the key to happiness is having the right attitude.
Platitudes...

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

@Slacker

its not meant to help people in an existent crisis

however social connections helps to prevent and help to recover from an existential crisis.

if you are unemployed, depressed, social isolated it will be harder to recover from depression - if even - then compared to a guy who is socially involved.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

Here's a horrible experiment I read about in a book once.
http://stpauls.vxcommunity.com/Issue/Us-Experiment-On-Infants-Withholding-Affection/13213

Harlow had already placed newly born monkeys in isolation chambers for up to one year. With the pit of despair, he placed monkeys between three months and three years old in the chamber alone, after they had bonded with their mothers, for up to ten weeks.[3] Within a few days, they had stopped moving about and remained huddled in a corner.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit_of_despair

And what happened to them was physical. EEG studies going back to the nineteen-sixties have shown diffuse slowing of brain waves in prisoners after a week or more of solitary confinement. In 1992, fifty-seven prisoners of war, released after an average of six months in detention camps in the former Yugoslavia, were examined using EEG-like tests. The recordings revealed brain abnormalities months afterward; the most severe were found in prisoners who had endured either head trauma sufficient to render them unconscious or, yes, solitary confinement. Without sustained social interaction, the human brain may become as impaired as one that has incurred a traumatic injury.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2009/03/30/hellhole

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

.....

 

[CantGoOn]

I don't have anyone to talk to, no friends since a young kid age no boyfriend, and the only connection I had was my mom who died this year in March. I'm mid 20s now and will always be alone.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

I don't have anyone to talk to, no friends since a young kid age no boyfriend, and the only connection I had was my mom who died this year in March. I'm mid 20s now and will always be alone.

Loneliness Might Be A Bigger Health Risk Than Smoking Or Obesity


https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/...th-risk-than-smoking-or-obesity/#6c6b95b425d1

 

[lostinthedream]

Loneliness Might Be A Bigger Health Risk Than Smoking Or Obesity


https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/...th-risk-than-smoking-or-obesity/#6c6b95b425d1

I believe this, lonliness is absolutely crushing my body, mind, soul and being...

 

[samhelloall9]

For capitalists they love their wealth and pursuit of money.

 

[project77]

yea, loneliness kills. I live very isolated for about 3yr now. Your mental health will get worse and worse over time. Took me a while to accept, but by now I think its what will kill me.