Discussion Have you attempted CTB before? If so, how many times and with what method/methods?

[coolgal82]

i'm just curious.

Personally i have 0 attempts but i have a few times where i felt i was close to doing so (i have felt very close to using my SN afew times, and even had a packet of pills on the table ready to take but stopped myself. also tbh i started drinking more to try and damage my liver to ctb) (also a few moments when i was younger where i like threatened to do so but im unsure if i actually wanted to or was just having a meltdown? i know one time it was atleast partially cus someone at school said they threatened it to get their way before but also like i was just very distressed so idfk)

 

[Sutter]

Wide eyed.

At first I thought no. As soon as I was sure, as often happens here, a little thought makes a corner brighter than it was.

I might guess the following times, that maybe I didnt want to see. First was being with my GF and finding her crying and cutting her wrist. Didnt think to do anything normal, instead I sat down with her and cut my own wrist strike for strike to get her to stop.

Second was 2 years after her passing for some reason I had made chlorine gas in a sink and got interrupted.

Then 5 years after that I was craftily busy with 550 cord and was interrupted again close to a hanging.

So I guess 3 times, not exactly a herculean effort and perhaps the first didnt count but yes had some tries I guess.

Will look to have some moments today to reflect on your question a bit more. As its always nice to get a bit more wide eyed when dealing with ones own dark self.

 

[Sylveon]

Yup, I have quite a few aborted attempts according to the definition, though I personally do not count them as such.

I've had one "serious" attempt about four months ago via full suspension where I had everything ready but couldn't muster enough courage to step off the chair.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, not properly as I lack the means to painlessly and reliably free myself from this cruel, futile existence which always feels so dreadful to me, I wish I could choose to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again. I've suffered so much for so long already, what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse agony, it's so horrific to me how such could happen, it terrifies me how there's no limit as to how much a human can suffer in this existence.