Have you ever been told you matter?

[golgappa]

I recently fucked up big time and was crying all my dad told me was it's ok just come back home everything else can be taken care off but you matter to me...and that made me cry I felt guilty for wanting to be CTB idk what to feel

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm pleased your Dad was supportive and, I hope it helped and continues to help. Sometimes, it is nice to hear that it's ok- even if you've made a mistake.

Yes, my Dad also says that kind of thing. That I'm 'precious'. Mostly that 'you need to take care of yourself because you're precious'. (Like that damn ring in Lord of the Rings- lol.) Obviously, it would be way worse if he didn't care but honestly- it probably doesn't have the effect that's intended. All I tend to feel in response to that is- don't worry. I'm not going to kill myself until you've passed.

He will also say that he'll support me but I know that would come with a whole addendum of guilt trips ultimately so- it doesn't actually feel all that supportive. Maybe he'd be different if he knew just how much I wanted to kill myself but, I don't think that would help either, seeing as I don't feel like I can. (While he's still alive anyway.)

But, I do understand how someone caring about you can throw things a little. I hope things feel more settled for you soon. Are you likely to accept the offer and go home?

 

[golgappa]

I'm pleased your Dad was supportive and, I hope it helped and continues to help. Sometimes, it is nice to hear that it's ok- even if you've made a mistake.

Yes, my Dad also says that kind of thing. That I'm 'precious'. Mostly that 'you need to take care of yourself because you're precious'. (Like that damn ring in Lord of the Rings- lol.) Obviously, it would be way worse if he didn't care but honestly- it probably doesn't have the effect that's intended. All I tend to feel in response to that is- don't worry. I'm not going to kill myself until you've passed.

He will also say that he'll support me but I know that would come with a whole addendum of guilt trips ultimately so- it doesn't actually feel all that supportive. Maybe he'd be different if he knew just how much I wanted to kill myself but, I don't think that would help either, seeing as I don't feel like I can. (While he's still alive anyway.)

But, I do understand how someone caring about you can throw things a little. I hope things feel more settled for you soon. Are you likely to accept the offer and go home?

I will .. it's not only him who said that same thing by friends told me this guilt is only thing keeping me alive...idk how long it will be this way though, the more alive I am the fuck up I will do and not only ruin my life also theirs...it indeed felt good and I was just shocked he said nothing only told me to come back that mom and him miss me

 

[ZeroM24]

No, that would be a lie. Only actions matter to people anymore, and I have performed no significant so far.

 

[barely_afloat]

No.

I'm glad your dad is there for you

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I've never been told that I mattered and, even if I did, it wouldn't change my desire to die. My reason for dying isn't that I matter, quite the contrary actually, it's because I think I do matter. I matter to myself and my suffering matters which is something that I want to prevent. If I truly mattered to people, I think that they would come to the same conclusion after knowing about my life. If they don't, they don't truly think that I matter to them

 

[combatcuteness]

Yes, and I don't give a damn how much I matter to them or anyone. Because nothing matters to me anymore...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I have but it never came from someone that mattered enough to me.

 

[Pluto]

 

[archiveofpain]

Nope, and it's one of the many reasons why I plan to CTB, I feel like an NPC and a background character in peoples lives and the only time I matter is when I'm going above and beyond for them in a way that they wouldn't for me

 

[NoPoint2Life]

Ha! I was just told those words for what I think is the first time ever just the other day. My cousin was texting me and she always asks how I am doing, but she specifically asked about depression and if I think about ctb

I have but it never came from someone that mattered enough to me.

I don't know if you're being serious or not but isn't that often the case? The people who it would mean more from or the most from are the ones that never say it.
Tbf, I am close to my cousin so she matters to me.

But then again it's one of those stupid pro life sayings anyway.

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

Yes, and I don't give a damn how much I matter to them or anyone. Because nothing matters to me anymore...

I have but it never came from someone that mattered enough to me.

Those two sums up for me

 

[golgappa]

I've never been told that I mattered and, even if I did, it wouldn't change my desire to die. My reason for dying isn't that I matter, quite the contrary actually, it's because I think I do matter. I matter to myself and my suffering matters which is something that I want to prevent. If I truly mattered to people, I think that they would come to the same conclusion after knowing about my life. If they don't, they don't truly think that I matter to them

I can't agree more