ok this makes me laugh, not at you at all but because when i was a kid i read the diary of a wimpy kid series. i think what unintentionally got in my head was this...
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id have to say most of my life past the age of 7 has been about self sabotage in various forms and ways, from getting out of extracurriculars, to not doing schoolwork even though i could. very simply i guess i wanted to do what i wanted to do, escaping expectations which caused conflict at home or made school boring (in the normal classes theyd actually talk about the topic since people asked questions, and asked "why are we learning this?", in the gifted class teachers would boast about making you do more work and nobody seemed to question the topics), or i wanted help and attention seeing other people get attention for being difficult (its really in my head that im either not good or bad enough and no it didnt work haha), or i wanted to relate to people more (i pretended i didnt know what the word "geology" was in year 6 yearbook, people treated me better for dumbing myself down or pretending not to know things). but as i got older i didnt have to try to fail, and now im pretty impaired or underdevloped in a few things. my mother is asian, she used to be super hard on me and would influence my dad too so getting a B would make people disappointed in me and we'd have conflict over math problems they couldnt solve or even try to. now they don't care which is good and i don't do school and now my future schoolwork isnt their business anymore.
in australia people talk about "tall poppy syndrome", so opposed to other countries, people think you're a snob, arrogant, showoff etc. for being ambitious or having some kind of strength that isnt bottling up your emotions then drinking it up with an alcoholic tolerance or being socially charming. i even dont bother dressing nice cause theres no point here lol (and its too hot). people put ned kelly on their lawns and in their homes. if you research ned kelly you'll have a bit more of an idea of what i'm talking about. and i'm not kidding there's ned kelly in my familys home and in peoples lawns on the way to work. some fuckwit tried to brag to me about drinking more expensive alcohol than me and getting into fights drunk and i think ive seen WAY more people be proud of their drinking than anything else which is funny but sad.
Historian Geoffrey Serle called Kelly and his gang "the last expression of the lawless frontier in what was becoming a highly organised and educated society, the last protest of the mighty bush now tethered with iron rails to Melbourne and the world" (wikipedia) i think it largely has to do with the history of australia, we are a country coming from convicts and also the indigenous people were subject to massacres and mistreatment from settlers. so despite the nature of our policies, i think people have an unconscious attitude towards what success means, but its pretty subjective and i cant speak for everyone.
sorry if this got off topic i just find self sabotage and societal reaction to failure and success interesting, i got into a bit of a rabbithole asking "why?". but i dont think ned kelly is totally the why for me personally but also it can be seen as a threat or act of arrogance to others to succeed in my surrounding society IME, i know many people who have businesses who try their best not to act like it at all even though starting a business can be a tremendously hard job. but otherwise ive just impaired myself by a lack of good choices, problem solving, emotional resiliance, and foresight haha.
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