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Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
I'll go first. I have been in the psych ward at least 10 times the last three years. It didn't help me at all. It just kept me from committing suicide. The nurses there were completely awful and made really bad comments about everything. The doctors had weird ideas and they also didn't help.

How often where you in a psych ward? Did it help?
Were you there voluntarily or were you locked up against your will?
 
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Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
I've been in them multiple times. The last time I went in, they ended up sending me to the big house for treatment for 8 months.

When I was at the smaller facilities (hospital nut ward), it wasn't to bad. The nurses and doctors were decent, and my nut house room mates were more hilarious than normal people.

When they sent me to the big house last year, things changed as far as decent nurses and doctors. There was no caring about you. It was hell and I would rather be homeless and on the streets than suffer through that again.

And no. It didn't help. I told them what they wanted to hear just so I could get out of there. I dealt with the first 6 months because I thought maybe it would help, but as you can see, it didnt.
 
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T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
I've been in them multiple times. The last time I went in, they ended up sending me to the big house for treatment for 8 months.

When I was at the smaller facilities (hospital nut ward), it wasn't to bad. The nurses and doctors were decent, and my nut house room mates were more hilarious than normal people.

When they sent me to the big house last year, things changed as far as decent nurses and doctors. There was no caring about you. It was hell and I would rather be homeless and on the streets than suffer through that again.

And no. It didn't help. I told them what they wanted to hear just so I could get out of there. I dealt with the first 6 months because I thought maybe it would help, but as you can see, it didnt.
I forgot to ask a question on the post: Where you there voluntarily or locked up?
 
Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
I forgot to ask a question on the post: Where you there voluntarily or locked up?
The first time was forced lock up, it was a time when my mind was gone and I was running the streets with a knife.

The second was voluntarily because I already knew they were looking for me, and I was in a situation I couldn't get out of. So I turned myself in so the outcome would not be as bad.

Every other time was forced lock up, except for this last time when last year I went to hospital for my failed attempt because I was in so much pain. When it was found out what happened, I was forced into the big house for 8 months for treatment.
 
T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
The first time was forced lock up, it was a time when my mind was gone and I was running the streets with a knife.

The second was voluntarily because I already knew they were looking for me, and I was in a situation I couldn't get out of. So I turned myself in so the outcome would not be as bad.

Every other time was forced lock up, except for this last time when last year I went to hospital for my failed attempt because I was in so much pain. When it was found out what happened, I was forced into the big house for 8 months for treatment.
Oof that sounds really awful. I was also voluntarily the first and the second time. Pretty much all the other times were forced. Locked up is a lot worse than voluntarily though. Last time I was locked up for 2 months and I had to stay in the same station for 2 whole months without once being free. I even managed to run away from the closed psych ward once. That was fun.
 
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Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
Oof that sounds really awful. I was also voluntarily the first and the second time. Pretty much all the other times were forced. Locked up is a lot worse than voluntarily though. Last time I was locked up for 2 months and I had to stay in the same station for 2 whole months without once being free. I even managed to run away from the closed psych ward once. That was fun.
The hospital they put me in was a little bit complicated to escape from. The windows had cages on them, plus it was on the 4th floor. So if you wanted to jump to your death, you have to somehow get the cage off quietly.

They also kept the doors locked. To escape you would have to go through the nurses stations. So that was a no go.
 
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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
Many times, spent a large portion of my teen years in the psych ward for my Anorexia, have also been for many shorter term admissions for ctb attempts
My experience with them has been relatively ok I guess, the worst part about them for me is just the boredom/lack of activity/stimulation, I can't tolerate that kind of environment anymore where I just have to sit and be alone with my thoughts without being able to distract myself with all of my self destructive behaviours/coping mechanisms
 
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Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
The hospital they put me in was a little bit complicated to escape from. The windows had cages on them, plus it was on the 4th floor. So if you wanted to jump to your death, you have to somehow get the cage off quietly.

They also kept the doors locked. To escape you would have to go through the nurses stations. So that was a no go.
The hospital I was in had watches. The ones who were in the "closed psych ward" had to wear one of those. If you came 2 metres close to one of the doors the door would automatically lock up. And if you ever got through the alarm would go off. But I had a bunch of weird coincidences who helped me to escape and in the end I was free and straight up went to the pharmacy to buy myself a pack of meds, which I took alltogether. Later that day the police found me.
 
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Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
The hospital I was in had watches. The ones who were in the "closed psych ward" had to wear one of those. If you came 2 metres close to one of the doors the door would automatically lock up. And if you ever got through the alarm would go off. But I had a bunch of weird coincidences who helped me to escape and in the end I was free and straight up went to the pharmacy to buy myself a pack of meds, which I took alltogether. Later that day the police found me.
This discussion reminds me of the Pink Floyd lyrics in The Final Cut.....

"If you negotiate the minefield in the drive
And beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
And if you make it past the shotguns down the hall"

Regardless, we are always battling our way around something.
 
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O

OrcWitch

Warlock
Sep 3, 2021
703
My sleep was horrible because they would crack the door open in these little intervals to make sure I wasn't hurting myself throughout the night. The beds were so stiff that I formed bruises on my hips, I am only able to sleep on my side.

Bored stiff. Didn't want me to sit in my bed and read books, they wanted me to be out and interacting with people. I befriended a girl and went on walks with her to look normal. Just absolutely nothing to do.

No conditioner, only shampoo. I couldn't brush my hair because I only had this very thin and fine comb that my hair is too thick for. I took the advice of my walking friend to just get my hair wet and to not comb it, and it will look the best just leaving it be. This felt bad.

I liked my prison clothes to be honest.

I am on a medication that they wouldn't give me and wouldn't do anything about no matter how much I protested. The head psychiatrist said "I can see that this is very important to you", but they wouldn't let me have my meds. It's not a recreational drug or anything psychoactive, it's hormone replacement and something I need physically. One of the nurses was on my side and was trying to fight for me to have them, but I told him to give up after a few days. I spent 3 weeks there experiencing symptoms of discontinuing my medication. I was having hot flashes, mood swings, fatigue etc.. This made it much more urgent for me to get out. This felt like something I maybe could have sued over, I don't know how illegal this was. This is the main reason why I consider it torture and why I will never go back.

The food was horrible slop. Most people had horrible table manners and I couldn't stomach eating next to these people. I am misophonic and they just ate so disgustingly. I lied and said I was vegetarian so I could live off milk, fruit trays, and salads. It was how I avoided their disgusting meals. They lined us up like prisoners to march us to the cafeteria.

Some of the staff were good people. Others were awful. One of my counselors spent the entire session with me talking about herself. Her therapy classes I attended in order to get out faster, were 80% something about her life. She treated us as a captive audience to share her blog. She was not doing her job at all. But she liked me. You could tell some people got off on their authority and power, and liked commanding people. We were herded like animals or prisoners.

One inmate kept trying to bully me the entire time. The staff wouldn't do anything about it. I saw this with other people too. One lady was being harassed by another lady, provoked, name called, shouted at, and the staff just told this woman to "Be the bigger person" instead of doing anything about the harasser. I felt sorry for her. She was in tears about being kept up all night by a roommate who talks to herself,

Got roped into this "women only interpretive dancing" thing with my friend. The lady running it tracked me down to my room and made me attend it. It was very unnecessary and embarrassing, but we were all embarrassed together.

The head psychiatrist made me sign a voluntary stay thing, on the threat that she could get a judge to order me inside and my stay could be months instead of 3 weeks.

I tried to play badminton with this kid in the gym. One of the staff members was cheering for me as if I was intellectually disabled or 7 years old.

It didn't help. Within a week of getting out I walked the train tracks for 6 hours waiting for a train to come for me to jump in front of. I felt horrible for months afterwards.
 
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T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
Many times, spent a large portion of my teen years in the psych ward for my Anorexia, have also been for many shorter term admissions for ctb attempts
My experience with them has been relatively ok I guess, the worst part about them for me is just the boredom/lack of activity/stimulation, I can't tolerate that kind of environment anymore where I just have to sit and be alone with my thoughts without being able to distract myself with all of my self destructive behaviours/coping mechanisms

My sleep was horrible because they would crack the door open in these little intervals to make sure I wasn't hurting myself throughout the night. The beds were so stiff that I formed bruises on my hips, I am only able to sleep on my side.

Bored stiff. Didn't want me to sit in my bed and read books, they wanted me to be out and interacting with people. I befriended a girl and went on walks with her to look normal. Just absolutely nothing to do.

No conditioner, only shampoo. I couldn't brush my hair because I only had this very thin and fine comb that my hair is too thick for. I took the advice of my walking friend to just get my hair wet and to not comb it, and it will look the best just leaving it be. This felt bad.

I liked my prison clothes to be honest.

I am on a medication that they wouldn't give me and wouldn't do anything about no matter how much I protested. The head psychiatrist said "I can see that this is very important to you", but they wouldn't let me have my meds. It's not a recreational drug or anything psychoactive, it's hormone replacement and something I need physically. One of the nurses was on my side and was trying to fight for me to have them, but I told him to give up after a few days. I spent 3 weeks there experiencing symptoms of discontinuing my medication. I was having hot flashes, mood swings, fatigue etc.. This made it much more urgent for me to get out. This felt like something I maybe could have sued over, I don't know how illegal this was. This is the main reason why I consider it torture and why I will never go back.

The food was horrible slop. Most people had horrible table manners and I couldn't stomach eating next to these people. I am misophonic and they just ate so disgustingly. I lied and said I was vegetarian so I could live off milk, fruit trays, and salads. It was how I avoided their disgusting meals. They lined us up like prisoners to march us to the cafeteria.

Some of the staff were good people. Others were awful. One of my counselors spent the entire session with me talking about herself. Her therapy classes I attended in order to get out faster, were 80% something about her life. She treated us as a captive audience to share her blog. She was not doing her job at all. But she liked me. You could tell some people got off on their authority and power, and liked commanding people. We were herded like animals or prisoners.

One inmate kept trying to bully me the entire time. The staff wouldn't do anything about it. I saw this with other people too. One lady was being harassed by another lady, provoked, name called, shouted at, and the staff just told this woman to "Be the bigger person" instead of doing anything about the harasser. I felt sorry for her. She was in tears about being kept up all night by a roommate who talks to herself,

Got roped into this "women only interpretive dancing" thing with my friend. The lady running it tracked me down to my room and made me attend it. It was very unnecessary and embarrassing, but we were all embarrassed together.

The head psychiatrist made me sign a voluntary stay thing, on the threat that she could get a judge to order me inside and my stay could be months instead of 3 weeks.

I tried to play badminton with this kid in the gym. One of the staff members was cheering for me as if I was intellectually disabled or 7 years old.

It didn't help. Within a week of getting out I walked the train tracks for 6 hours waiting for a train to come for me to jump in front of. I felt horrible for months afterwards.
That sounds really terrible. How long were you there 3 weeks?
I had some nurses who were like: "You're here now I can do anything with you." They often made jokes like: "How long will you stay this time? 3 weeks?8weeks?4 months ?
I was so embarrassed. They always told me:" We know you love it here, that's why you always come back".
Honestly I'd rather die a thousand times than go back there and here the same things again. That's also why, when someone asks me if I want a conversation at the psych ward to sort things out I always refuse and end up there involuntarily.
 
Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
The thing I hated the most about the hospital nut ward was the "mandatory" meetings we had to have each morning.

They would put us in a room with a bunch of other nut house inmates, and expected us to introduce ourselves and talk about why we are there.

I refused to participate mainly because it's was not any other person's problem to know why I was there. Was my reason for being there supposed to help the guy sitting next to me change his thoughts about suicide?

Oddly enough, my reason for failing to participate in this, caused others to feel the same way I did and refused to talk. This really pissed off the nurses and doctors.
 
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Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
The thing I hated the most about the hospital nut ward was the "mandatory" meetings we had to have each morning.

They would put us in a room with a bunch of other nut house inmates, and expected us to introduce ourselves and talk about why we are there.

I refused to participate mainly because it's was not any other person's problem to know why I was there. Was my reason for being there supposed to help the guy sitting next to me change his thoughts about suicide?

Oddly enough, my reason for failing to participate in this, caused others to feel the same way I did and refused to talk. This really pissed off the nurses and doctors.
Lol. The psych ward I was in also had such meetings. They would have us say how we were feeling and then answer a "question of the day" the questions were so dumb. Like: "Are you a summer or winter person?" or "Would you rather be a chair or a table?" like what?
 
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Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
Lol. The psych ward I was in also had such meetings. They would have us say how we were feeling and then answer a "question of the day" the questions were so dumb. Like: "Are you a summer or winter person?" or "Would you rather be a chair or a table?" like what?
Oh man, they hated asking me how I was feeling that day. The first day I was there, they asked me how I was feeling....

Apparently; "Right now I wish a gas truck would run into this building and blow us all to hell..." was not an appropriate answer.
 
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T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
Oh man, they hated asking me how I was feeling that day. The first day I was there, they asked me how I was feeling....

Apparently; "Right now I wish a gas truck would run into this building and blow us all to hell..." was not an appropriate answer.
OMG. Lmao. I bet every patient laughed. I know I would have.
 
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xLosthopex

xLosthopex

Tell my dogs I love them
May 29, 2020
1,135
That sounds really terrible. How long were you there 3 weeks?
I had some nurses who were like: "You're here now I can do anything with you." They often made jokes like: "How long will you stay this time? 3 weeks?8weeks?4 months ?
I was so embarrassed. They always told me:" We know you love it here, that's why you always come back".
Honestly I'd rather die a thousand times than go back there and here the same things again. That's also why, when someone asks me if I want a conversation at the psych ward to sort things out I always refuse and end up there involuntarily.
My longest admission was 10 months, shortest was a few days
 
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Bootleg Astolfo

Bootleg Astolfo

Glorious Bean Plushie
Oct 12, 2020
656
Being sent to a psych ward gave me long lasting trauma, but at least it gave me the ability to nicely, angerly play Metallica's Sanitarium.
 
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Under The Graveyard

Under The Graveyard

There is no death. Only a change of worlds.
Jun 24, 2021
112
OMG. Lmao. I bet every patient laughed. I know I would have.
I got a laugh or two, but one girls jaw hit the table... she looked at me with a nasty look and said, "You know, some of us are in here trying to better ourselves, and you're trying to kill us."

My response even made the nurse smile... "Well sweetheart, next time, pick a different table to sit at."

Me and the girl did eventually become good friends. Lol
 
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T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
I got a laugh or two, but one girls jaw hit the table... she looked at me with a nasty look and said, "You know, some of us are in here trying to better ourselves, and you're trying to kill us."

My response even made the nurse smile... "Well sweetheart, next time, pick a different table to sit at."

Me and the girl did eventually become good friends. Lol
Haha that's funny
 
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sick.faery

sick.faery

Mar 18, 2021
284
i was forced to go to one twice 4-5 years ago, and it didn't help at all either. barely saw any doctors or anything. litteraly had like 1 hour of therapy a week or so. for me it was really just like some really boring shitty summer camp, except indoors with no phones, no privacy, gross food, and everyone's fucked up
 
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Jinny

Jinny

Member
Sep 25, 2021
5
I had a roommate once who frequently expressed her homicidal urges to me. I'm guessing the staff was unaware of her behavior because they wouldn't put a suicidal and homicidal teenager in the same room. Or maybe they would, considering their carelessness. Who knows.
I asked if she could strangle me, and she initially refused, but afterwards tried to smother me with a pillow that same night, only to be caught (unfortunately) by a nurse during the nighttime observations.
 
T

Thingsneverchange

Death is my friend
Sep 23, 2021
110
I had a roommate once who frequently expressed her homicidal urges to me. I'm guessing the staff was unaware of her behavior because they wouldn't put a suicidal and homicidal teenager in the same room. Or maybe they would, considering their carelessness. Who knows.
I asked if she could strangle me, and she initially refused, but afterwards tried to smother me with a pillow that same night, only to be caught (unfortunately) by a nurse during the nighttime observations.
OMG that sounds scary though. Honestly I am not sure if I'd really want someone else to kill me beside myself.
 
EndlessDolphin

EndlessDolphin

Member
May 2, 2021
16
I've been twice this year already. The first time was in February for a week and it was my first time experiencing something like that. (Second time was in May)
Both times were voluntary. I was put with other people who had depression and anxiety and delt with wanting to ctb.
I'm ashamed to say this but being in there made me felt less lonely (with all the forced social interaction, mandatory therapy sessions and all the down time). I've dealt with more unstable people at work and in life. The nurses were fine. Food was bland. I was bored out of my mind without music or a phone.
Unfortunately I'm feeling the effects of the new medication they gave me wear off, so hopefully I don't end up there a 3rd time before this year is over.
 
C

CogitoMori

Student
Oct 21, 2024
172
I've been twice for 2 weeks each time. Once as a minor, once as an adult. Both were awful and made life worse in every possible aspect. They forced me to come out to my bigoted parents after I told them I might be kicked out for my gender identity, it's filled with abusive assholes that just want power over people, they'll hold you for literally anything especially standing up for your own autonomy, the things you get in trouble for the nurses are allowed to do, and they always fucking get every diagnosis wrong
 
yowai

yowai

Student
Aug 28, 2024
118
5 times, 4 of those while I was underage and the last one was a year ago because of a bad fight with my parents and drug intervention gone wrong. Worst place ever, didn't help with anything and as a teen I only got slightly better because I didn't want to go back in there lol. You're at the mercy of the nurses (some are bitchy and strict af, don't give a damn about your feelings, some are kind of like concerned mothers so easier to deal with) and you have no autonomy. You can't go outside (I wonder what was the point of that fenced off yard then), even have to ask for permission to have your windows opened and the only thing to do is read books or draw and do crosswords lol. So much wasted time in there. The one for adults I was in last time didn't even have a psychologist available for a full week because he got sick. The meds are shitty and I've seen them turn normal people into zombies with eyelids barely open. I tried to get out for a month and the only thing that helped was finally threatening to get the doctors in trouble by writing some letter to higher ups who are supposed to investigate abuse lol
 
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