Haven't talked to friends in about a month

[werewolfking]

One friend has asked me a question

I just know that if this were ANYONE ELSE IN THE fucking group everyone would be worried and attempt to reach out to them. I know because it has happened a few times with our other friends. But because it's me there are no attempts so why should I fucking care about chatting with them again. I know that nobody is obligated to reach out to me and people may think I just need my space, but where is that energy when our other friends are silent and going through a tough time...

I just needed a place to vent thank you

 

[Rounded Agony]

This must be bad to make it only your tenth post in four and a half years. I'm sorry. I know what you mean about people jut leaving you out to dry but thankfully don't have the extra bitter taste of comparing to other intra-social responses. I tried indirectly expressing my troubles and was met with kind initial words, followed by long silent distance. Almost made it worse, so I can't wholeheartedly recommend "reaching out" as it made it so much harder for me.

 

[volnaya_pesnya]

No clue if this helps you at all but you're not alone. I've been in the situation, went off the grid for a while just to see if anybody cared enough to reach out and was met with complete radio silence. I guess the takeaway here is to sort of accept that you can't really rely on other people and at some point you have to find some comfort from within to serve as sufficient motivation long-term. I have no idea how to do this but maybe you can. I'm really wishing you luck, buddy.

 

[hamvil]

I never receive texts or calls from friends. I had a female friend which was a previous affair with which I chatted often, but at the end I had a big fight, insulted her and cut all bridges (as I usually do). Nobody would notice if I disappeared.

 

[SectOfValtiel]

Its the same for me, although I guess my irl friend group has never been very supportive when it comes to mental health...
Still
Its been about a month for me and not a single person has said a thing
Not a single person has even so much as acted like my disappearance means anything
Not them *or* the online friends I had, they were the ones that used to be super supportive but even they just cant seem to be bothered
Didnt even notice when I deactivated my account, thats how little my existence seems to matter

I know its an extremely frustrating and alienating thing to go through... I always try to keep in mind that people are busy, or going through their own mental stresses, but it still doesnt excuse the complete and utter neglect youve experienced from the people that are, by definition, supposed to care
You deserve people in your life that *do* notice when youre in trouble- and people that try to help, even if they know how hard it can be to get through
You arent alone in this, not by a long-shot, I promise you that
And I hope you can either find some peace and comfort in yourself, or find the right people and let them in
Either way, good luck

 

[Grav]

It sucks when you want someone to reach out and nothing happens. I haven't heard from many friends in a couple of months but I don't get down on it now, I used to. We all have stuff to do and other things to deal with and lots of people assume things are ok with most people they know. I think the only way to change that for many is to have a friend checklist and go down it each month, but that's not realistic. If I haven't heard from people I usually send out a "hey what's up?" email or text. I don't think many people are looking for issues with their friends and when they do aren't sure what to do about it, so they default to silence vs abandonment (or they wouldn't be friends really). Just for reference I'm older so my friends have kids, families, job demands, etc that may be more distracting than if I was younger. I also really only count IRL friends as ones I would look to but again, older so online friends aren't "really people" to me. It's hard to know which friend reacts what way and comes down to an individual conversation with them.