Venting Hoping I get killed or die

[SomewhatLoved]

My life is sort of nothing. Outside of work I just lay in bed all the time. I have nothing to look forward to at all. Don't care about my career, no hobbies, no social life, etc.

I've been on this forum for 2+ years and I figure if I was going to CTB I probably would have by now, so I'm not sure if I ever actually will.

Still, I've never been happy in life. I find myself wishing I get diagnosed with something fatal and I can just refuse treatment and wait to die. I also work a somewhat dangerous job where I'm occasionally exposed to violence and/or environmental hazards and sometimes I hope I get shot or die somehow while working. Doubt that will ever actually happen, though.

 

[Halfhourdays]

This post makes me want to make a half-assed attempt right now, like ODing on Lithium or getting Covid on purpose.

 

[L0STHumanity]

I feel ya on that, I'm 27 and I'm just going with the flow hoping I get cancer or something, it's always like a hurricane in my head so idk if I could really go with a hanging or stabbing myself to death

 

[Halfhourdays]

I feel ya on that, I'm 27 and I'm just going with the flow hoping I get cancer or something, it's always like a hurricane in my head so idk if I could really go with a hanging or stabbing myself to death

Yeah, hanging is too brutal, and stabbing yourself to death doesn't work. Besides, these methods areToo violent for me, personally. I want to go out with a little peace, quiet and dignity.

But anyway now, after reading this, I can't stop fantasizing about getting murdered. It would be nice if someone else would just take care of ctbing for me.

A nice gunshot to the head.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

Hanging is too brutal. Too violent. I want to go out with a little peace, quiet and dignity.

But now, after reading this, I can't stop fantasizing about getting murdered.

I think the brutality of hanging is what has held me back. I've had rope in my garage for years and I could do it, but the feeling of the rope tight around your neck (even without any weight) is just so unpleasant. I think if I ever did it it would have to be full suspension so that I would have no way to back out, even if the pain would be more.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I think the brutality of hanging is what had held me back. I've had rope in my garage for years and I could do it, but the feeling of the rope tight around your neck (even without any weight) is just so unpleasant. I think if I ever did it it would have to be full suspension so that I would have to way to back out, even if the pain would be more.

I can't do it this way. I always chicken out.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

If I could hire a hitman to put a bullet through me I think I would. It would make it passive. No need to pull a trigger, kick a chair, swallow a pill, or anything else. Just accept it. However, it would probably be so difficult to do this that accessing nembutal would be easier/more accessible.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I've dreamed of getting like stage 4 cancer out of nowhere where i have like a month left to live so i didn't have to do any of the work... everything is too much work now. I also practiced hanging a while back and i noped the fuck out of that one so i feel you on that

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish for death as well, it's all I've ever personally wished for, I just want to never exist ever again. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ididnotconsent]

My life is sort of nothing. Outside of work I just lay in bed all the time. I have nothing to look forward to at all. Don't care about my career, no hobbies, no social life, etc.

I've been on this forum for 2+ years and I figure if I was going to CTB I probably would have by now, so I'm not sure if I ever actually will.

Still, I've never been happy in life. I find myself wishing I get diagnosed with something fatal and I can just refuse treatment and wait to die. I also work a somewhat dangerous job where I'm occasionally exposed to violence and/or environmental hazards and sometimes I hope I get shot or die somehow while working. Doubt that will ever actually happen, though.

If you're in the united states and have a terminal illness there are a few states like Washington and Vermont that will help you CTB.

Yeah i been wishing for a bout of aggressive cancer myself lol.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I've dreamed of getting like stage 4 cancer out of nowhere where i have like a month left to live so i didn't have to do any of the work... everything is too much work now. I also practiced hanging a while back and i noped the fuck out of that one so i feel you on that

"Noped the fuck out of that one..." Well put.

Hanging/ligature strangulation: nope.i wish I could but I am just too much of a squeamish weenie.

 

[pastyle]

If I could hire a hitman to put a bullet through me I think I would. It would make it passive. No need to pull a trigger, kick a chair, swallow a pill, or anything else. Just accept it. However, it would probably be so difficult to do this that accessing nembutal would be easier/more accessible.

yeah. i often hope that on the drive home some idiot who's speeding winds up colliding with my vehicle and taking me with him.
i pullback at the last moment in attempts. last one in september 2023 i attempted asphyxiation and strangulation via bead wire and tied it tight around my throat while my girlfriend was at work. i passed out from it, but took it off after i woke up an hour later. it feels too hard trying to ctb. wish someone had a vendetta against me and wanted to end me with ease. a bullet to the head does sound very pleasant, so does a high speed car crash, or being bludgeoned in the head very hard seems good.