Discussion How are you preparing for your death & what are your concerns?

[ignorableaurochs]

I've been thinking about this for a long time. I have chosen a method and (I think) a location.

Some concerns I have remaining are:

- Surviving (obviously)
- I live with my partner. Unfortunately they will be left to deal with all my stuff after I'm gone. I'm wondering if there is a way to ease the burden without arousing suspicion by getting rid of stuff en masse. It sounds crazy but I will feel really sad leaving my stuffed animals behind, more than I will for any person, as horrible as that is. I hope they will be looked after. But I also want to be forgotten. What a paradox.
- Privacy after I'm gone: I don't want to delete all my social media but I also don't want anyone eg my partner to access my accounts & see my private chats. I can erase internet history to an extent but some stuff will be left. Not sure if there is a way around this.
- Implicating others: I want to have as minimal an impact on others as I can. Hoping not to be found but I suspect that is unlikely. Hope that my choice of method does not implicate the supplier also.
- Notes: I have written 2/3 notes but will edit them before the time comes. Not sure if it is more or less painful to have an explanation/note. What are your thoughts?

What are some things you've been thinking about or doing to prepare?

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I have the same issues that you do both with survival and causing trauma for my partner.
But once your gone it honestly wouldn't matter , all the social connections and chats will be gone from you and it wouldn't matter if your partner sees them because you'd be gone ... the deed will be done.

 

[Arin]

I'm not doing much tbh, I just don't care anymore. I just want to get out and die and that's it. Idc if my family look through my belongings and shit, since I'll be dead and gone and won't have to deal with the consequences. It won't matter after I CTB. I just don't want to have to deal with the aftermath of surviving and having to endure being laughed at and humiliated and scorned and mocked and pitied all over again. I don't even really want to write a note or do anything to explain, I just want to fucking escape and no longer exist in this godforsaken world.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm drafting a goodbye thread for this site and soon I'll be writing a suicide note for my parents saying that my death isn't their fault and that there was nothing they could have done etc. I'm also going to try and get an anti emetic to use for the SN. Aside from that, it's just a waiting game until semester 2 starts so that I have privacy for a long enough time to ctb. I'm extremely terrified but I have to pull through with this because my future is so bleak, I don't want to die in a horrific way (the average death seems so horrific to me) and I'm scared of continuing to be in risk of extreme suffering due to me merely being alive.

 

[Peter Skellern]

My concern is more theological in terms of not seeing my nearest and dearest again.

 

[kingfool316]

Me, just enjoy the time left. Play video games, watch favorite movies, plan last meal. Things like social media won't bother me. What use are they for a dead man after all. Just forget everything else. It makes it easier

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I will be numb like I am right now, but I will be weak, brittle, accepting of fate, clung to my fate, and listen to a song while I get the motel I need to silence my years of torment...

 

[ignorableaurochs]

Just bought the SN. Feeling like things are slowly coming together.

 

[taysontheory]

How do you convince your mind, which is built on millions of years of survival instinct, to end?
This is a difficult question that I cannot answer for anyone, but for me, I will pull myself together and force myself to do so.

 

[TheHolySword]

my main concern is not dying. that would really put a damper on things.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Just bought the SN. Feeling like things are slowly coming together.

Mine's on the way too
Hoping we have luck! I recommend researching everything and prepare for the fasting and the mental battle

 

[areyousafe??]

I've done most of my preparation- buying my SN, getting all the supplementary medication that goes with it. I am currently waiting for an appointment to get my will drafted and finalised, then I'm pretty much good to go.

I don't have many concerns, other than my family being upset. I'm worried my psychologist and psychiatrist will find out, I would prefer if they didn't.