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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I know this is a strange question with a million potential answers, but Recovery?
If you only have the option of self recovery, or if this is a path you wish to go forward on , but alone,
IE NO professional help, were would you start? IF you have no income, have lost any previous business and networking you once had, have no qualifications, no car, risk of the corona virus losing thousands jobs,
If you have No friends, no supportive family,
If you are sat there today, with nothing but four walls surrounding you, with a feeling of groundhog day as your lifestyle,
how and were would you even start to look to dig yourself out of a dark place, that is only if you so wished to recover.
 
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Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
My heart sank as I read your message.

If the situation is as dire as you describe it, I guess all you have is yourself. And you would somehow have to find the will to recover within you.

You would have to start with the basics: regular sleep, relatively nutritious food, fresh air on a daily basis. Then build up of that.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
My heart sank as I read your message.

If the situation is as dire as you describe it, I guess all you have is yourself. And you would somehow have to find the will to recover within you.

You would have to start with the basics: regular sleep, relatively nutritious food, fresh air on a daily basis. Then build up of that.

My situation as someone has informed me , is only as dire as I decide to make it, I guess i have chosen to take empty promises, I guess I have chosen to allow family to opt out of the support they once promised, I guess I have have craved solitude for so long, that now I have it, to recovery is no longer just a bump in the road, but a fucking great mountain!
 
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E

Epsilon0

Enlightened
Dec 28, 2019
1,874
My situation as someone has informed me , is only as dire as I decide to make it, I guess i have chosen to take empty promises, I guess I have chosen to allow family to opt out of the support they once promised, I guess I have have craved solitude for so long, that now I have it, to recovery is no longer just a bump in the road, but a fucking great mountain!


It's easy to say "your situation is only as dire as you make it", but in reality we have very little control over so many things that affect us directly and indirectly. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot overcome all the obstacles. I resent the implication that anyone can have a great life, if only they truly want it, and try hard enough. Sometimes, the odds are stacked up so high, that they become, as you say, a mountain.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I've been attempting solo recovery myself. As @Epsilon0 mentioned a healthy lifestyle of regular sleep, good food, and fresh air is a good start. Regular exercise and sunlight can help to release feel good endorphins as well.

I'd also suggest picking up a hobby or something constructive to fill your time. Try to drink less frequently or stop entirely (very hard I know). I hope your situation improves and I wish you luck on your recovery!
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I've been attempting solo recovery myself. As @Epsilon0 mentioned a healthy lifestyle of regular sleep, good food, and fresh air is a good start. Regular exercise and sunlight can help to release feel good endorphins as well.
This really is the foundation of everything, whatever you are suffering from. Could nail that to the masthead as a genuine cure all.

It's also the hardest thing to sustain because you are always fighting the tendency for everything to decay. Far easier to take the mind drugs and listen to the therapists.

Plus: unfortunately, not everyone can manage good sleep, good food, exercise, fresh air etc due to medical or social conditions, so they are gimped from the start. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, just that it's far harder and the effort will often go unwitnessed.

There are all sorts of courage. True courage is continuing to fight even when you know you are beaten and alone, and counting the tiniest of wins as a victory. Unfortunately, there is little to distinguished true courage from stupidity sometimes.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
My situation as someone has informed me , is only as dire as I decide to make it, I guess i have chosen to take empty promises, I guess I have chosen to allow family to opt out of the support they once promised, I guess I have have craved solitude for so long, that now I have it, to recovery is no longer just a bump in the road, but a fucking great mountain!
Just out of interest, who told you that? Your therapist? Then you should fire him!

If you attempt this you should focus on trying to build a stable base (i.e. job, housing, health) and then you can relax. You need to get out of emergency mode. A stable job is simply necessary to being healthy. Alternatively some form of disability or social security and then you need to learn to stop accepting the guilt and shame people put on you.

Stability is number one, not self realization or some other crap.
.
Other people might not be all that important or they might be very important for you, people seem to differ on this.

But you can't tackle these higher issues without stability.

I know this is not a solution, but I won't tell you empty platitudes or magical thinking. It is despicable that people think it decent to lie straight to your face by saying just wish it wasn't so and it won't, it's a grotesque form of downplaying and it means they don't have anything constructive to say or do for you and they want you to go away and leave them alone with it.
 
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CynicalHopelessness

CynicalHopelessness

Messenger of Silence
Jan 9, 2020
940
Unfortunately, there is little to distinguished true courage from stupidity sometimes.
That's why you need some criteria to tell progress from just idling pointlessly. Mine currently is "how full my life feels compared to 2 weeks ago".

If you attempt this you should focus on trying to build a stable base (i.e. job, housing, health) and then you can relax
I don't think so. It'll be much harder to find a decent job if you are struggling with anxiety and/or apathy, for instance. A "healthy" lifestyle will only serve to make you more miserable if you're depressed, and you'll give up soon. And don't get me started on "stable housing" lol. Something out of reach for most young people these days. I myself focus most critical issues, which can be emotional or material. And there's also nothing preventing you from tackling several problems based on their severity if you have the energy for it.
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I should add in a way that this is more of a hypothetical question, but it's one that intrigues me.
Just out of interest, who told you that? Your therapist? Then you should fire him!

If you attempt this you should focus on trying to build a stable base (i.e. job, housing, health) and then you can relax. You need to get out of emergency mode. A stable job is simply necessary to being healthy. Alternatively some form of disability or social security and then you need to learn to stop accepting the guilt and shame people put on you.

Stability is number one, not self realization or some other crap.
.
Other people might not be all that important or they might be very important for you, people seem to differ on this.

But you can't tackle these higher issues without stability.

I know this is not a solution, but I won't tell you empty platitudes or magical thinking. It is despicable that people think it decent to lie straight to your face by saying just wish it wasn't so and it won't, it's a grotesque form of downplaying and it means they don't have anything constructive to say or do for you and they want you to go away and leave them alone with it.

I ahve no therapist, have no medication nothing, hence stating this would IF i was to do it, all solo, no help from anyone, mental health team signed me off weeks ago,
 
a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
That's why you need some criteria to tell progress from just idling pointlessly. Mine currently is "how full my life feels compared to 2 weeks ago".


I don't think so. It'll be much harder to find a decent job if you are struggling with anxiety and/or apathy, for instance. A "healthy" lifestyle will only serve to make you more miserable if you're depressed, and you'll give up soon. And don't get me started on "stable housing" lol. Something out of reach for most young people these days. I myself focus most critical issues, which can be emotional or material. And there's also nothing preventing you from tackling several problems based on their severity if you have the energy for it.
But that's exactly what I said. He or she needs material security. I didn't say it was easy or even possible but I can't see how someone could start to relax and feel security without a secure job, a secure living space and some routine and stability in general. And then some savings.
.

You can't tackle anxiety as an abstract thing. It's an appropriate reaction to insecure circumstances. You need to get rid of the insecurity first; first you need air to breath, some time on your hands so you can relax and start maybe looking for friends or things to do.
 
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CynicalHopelessness

CynicalHopelessness

Messenger of Silence
Jan 9, 2020
940
But that's exactly what I said.
It is not.

He or she needs material security
Eventually yes, but it's not for you to decide if that is the highest priority.

You can't tackle anxiety as an abstract thing. It's an appropriate reaction to insecure circumstances
  1. Anxiety isn't an abstract thing, it's a concrete emotional state.
  2. People "tackle anxiety" directly with meds all around the world. Many of them don't have financial security either, just their country healthcare isn't all ghouls.
  3. In us, mentally ill people, intensity of anxiety has little to do with present circumstances. In fact, it's so inappropriate that it is a problem in its own.
Unless you're literally in a life or death condition this very minute and have to run from a tiger or something, anxiety will do harm to your ability to actually solve your problems.

I also don't want to continue that further. I don't think we'll agree on anything and I believe your position only makes a person find justifications as to why they don't need to try anything to solve their emotional problems.
 
faust

faust

lost among the stars
Jan 26, 2020
3,138
Regrettably, the only person who can be trusted 100% in recovery is you.
This is something like a university: you listen to lectures, but all the tasks must be completed independently.
If you can find a supportive doctor who is determined to help you, then it is wonderful.
But the bulk of the work still needs to be done on your own. If we do not help ourselves, then no one will help us.
 
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
It is not.


Eventually yes, but it's not for you to decide if that is the highest priority.


  1. Anxiety isn't an abstract thing, it's a concrete emotional state.
  2. People "tackle anxiety" directly with meds all around the world. Many of them don't have financial security either, just their country healthcare isn't all ghouls.
  3. In us, mentally ill people, intensity of anxiety has little to do with present circumstances. In fact, it's so inappropriate that it is a problem in its own.
Unless you're literally in a life or death condition this very minute and have to run from a tiger or something, anxiety will do harm to your ability to actually solve your problems.

I also don't want to continue that further. I don't think we'll agree on anything and I believe your position only makes a person find justifications as to why they don't need to try anything to solve their emotional problems.
I never said drugs weren't an option. And yes, I claim that emotional distress is usually justified somehow - this has greatly relieved me of unnecessary guilt and the stigma of being irrational or a crazy person (which I am not).

Okay, so I start taking benzos for my anxiety issue, and then what? I become a benzo addict? I see it as a possible tool as long as it enables me to change something tangible in my real life circumstances, otherwise it's just another fix, an addiction.

Don't get me wrong I sincerely think my viewpoint is an empowering one, but we can disagree on this.
.

You accept the medical model of mental illness and I don't, that's the difference we won't be able to bridge.
 
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PhilosOfDoom

PhilosOfDoom

Experienced
Nov 22, 2019
205
I know this is a strange question with a million potential answers, but Recovery?
If you only have the option of self recovery, or if this is a path you wish to go forward on , but alone,
IE NO professional help, were would you start? IF you have no income, have lost any previous business and networking you once had, have no qualifications, no car, risk of the corona virus losing thousands jobs,
If you have No friends, no supportive family,
If you are sat there today, with nothing but four walls surrounding you, with a feeling of groundhog day as your lifestyle,
how and were would you even start to look to dig yourself out of a dark place, that is only if you so wished to recover.
Recognition of, and cessation of the cause. In the above case, it's severe isolation, and financially broke. First, you'd have to re-integrate yourself within the public, and then work up qualifications for a job. You can't be mentally healthy when all of your current circumstances makes it impervious to change. A prisoner in solitary confinement cannot be fully mentally happy due to the inhumane circumstances. Then you make lifestyle changes to improve your physical well-being, which also increases the health of the mind, e.g exercise and sleep. I sympathize for your situation, it should not be the life of a person. I really hope you get better, and rebound from your current situation. Good luck.
 
CynicalHopelessness

CynicalHopelessness

Messenger of Silence
Jan 9, 2020
940
You accept the medical model of mental illness and I don't, that's the difference we won't be able to bridge.
Would you please stop putting words in my mouth? Feels pretty toxic.

I don't accept the "my circumstances suck so I'm going to wallow in misery until something magically changes" model of mental illness, that much is true. It is fairly known that you can be absolutely miserable while rich but at least moderately happy while poor. Doesn't mean I suggest meds as anything but the tool of a last resort to make any progress from a standstill. In fact, I think any psychoactive substances are harmful in long-term, but it's about moving somewhere.

Don't get me wrong I sincerely think my viewpoint is an empowering one, but we can disagree on this.
Has it empowered you?

And yes, I claim that emotional distress is usually justified somehow - this has greatly relieved me of unnecessary guilt and the stigma of being irrational or a crazy person (which I am not).
Well I claim it is merely a habit that has no benefits in modern world. Guilt is a manipulative piece of shit too, but it is possible to acknowledge being sick without feeling guilty for it.
 
Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
WOAH Guys calm down....!!
 
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PeterPrincple

Ruined life
Mar 6, 2020
30
I know this is a strange question with a million potential answers, but Recovery?
If you only have the option of self recovery, or if this is a path you wish to go forward on , but alone,
IE NO professional help, were would you start? IF you have no income, have lost any previous business and networking you once had, have no qualifications, no car, risk of the corona virus losing thousands jobs,
If you have No friends, no supportive family,
If you are sat there today, with nothing but four walls surrounding you, with a feeling of groundhog day as your lifestyle,
how and were would you even start to look to dig yourself out of a dark place, that is only if you so wished to recover.

Pray to God. Then walk to Church and ask to be baptized and volunteer. Ask them for help.
 

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