How did people react to finding out about your self harm?

[Anonymoususer1234]

Was thier reaction one that made you feel better or worse about yourself? Have you received mixed reactions? How do you feel about people knowing?

 

[cgrtt.brns]

my mums reaction was the worst. i never knew until recently that she had self harmed when she was younger, so it kind of explains why she freaked out so much. my dad was just disappointed. ive never rly had a bad reaction from friends cus somehow any friends i make all seem to have selfharmed in some way too so they kinda just dont react. ig the worst was when i accidentally showed a cut to a bunch of ppl and one friend took me aside and asked about it and hugged me and told me not to do it again. that hurt a bit, cus i knew i would do it again. and it was awkward that they made such a big deal out of it. now i just hide it from everyone cuz i get scared thinking what their reaction would be and its just easier to hide it.

 

[nessun_nome]

Ignored it. Telling people was a really big thing and I might as well have been telling them wh I had for brea. Maybe they didn't know how to react.

When it got more serious and I was giving myself concussion they got more shocked.

 

[highjumping]

My dad saw my sh and said "If you ever do that again I will beat you bloody!"
I wish I could make this up, it has stuck with me ever since and he probably doesn't even remember it, I was 14 at that time.

 

[InTheDarkAlone]

For me, they feign sympathy

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

My dad saw my sh and said "If you ever do that again I will beat you bloody!"
I wish I could make this up, it has stuck with me ever since and he probably doesn't even remember it, I was 14 at that time.

I'm sorry to hear that. That's an awful thing to say

 

[Bigsmoke777]

I was 12. My dad screamed at me that I was an ungrateful bitch. My mom made it all about her, and got all high pitched and crying saying she should want to kill herself and she failed at everything, when she actually did but only admit it when one of her kids was suicidal. I had to clean the whole house after they found out while they both berated me because if my siblings and I got taken away it would be my fault for someone finding out about me doing that

 

[neurotic]

I told someone who I thought I could tell anything to about my sh. Almost comically, everyone in my family knew by the next hour. I've never felt so much shame. I had built such a good image only for it to be torn down and be labeled as suicidal for the rest of my life. They forced me into ward, spread the news, and it only made things significantly worse. Most of the careers I wanted don't want me anymore because of my records. It's ruined my life. I should've just kept it to myself like I had been doing. They don't care if I'm happy, they just want me alive.

 

[andaira2k]

The only friend I told, just told me that I won't gain anything positive from it, as almost everybody would say it.
I think my family noticed, but I somehow slipped through by finding excuses or finding exits to conversations that would lead there.
So I was pretty "happy" about nobody really mentioning it or seeing it as a huge problem.

 

[Duality]

Earlier in my life I told someone that I wanted to kill myself, and that was a mistake. Next thing you know my group of friends know, and my teachers and family. Word really spread and I couldn't escape the scrutiny.

I have learned to outwardly be happy but never tell anyone I personally know about my true feelings. It was very annoying being in the hospital, and being under such a watchful eye. They might have cared, I'll admit that, but they didn't really understand my suffering.

I would warn others against telling your friends/family your personal feelings. I can't emphasize how much of your autonomy will be lost, and how every action you do will be scrutinized for the rest of your life.

 

[Qua]

My mom reacted really calmly. She hugged me and took care of my scars.
My dad screamed at me and threatened to end all of my friendships.
One of my friends told me to bring her every knife and give it to her.
Other friend told me that we'll get a compromise: she will try to eat more (suffered from eating disorder) and i will try not to cut.
My ex-boyfriend wanted to know how and tried to make me realize that it is a bad thing and tell my mom or therapist about it (i relapsed when we were together).
Lately I don't know why I told one of my current friends. It was more in like a joking way but she realized I was actually telling the truth. I even showed her a picture and my scar but later on got so mad at myself i texted her to never talk about it to me or anyone else. Apologised later, I think I just wanted some kind of attention from her

 

[justwantpeace520]

Most recently, with cliche statements and saying they'll call or come by, which, they didn't do. Took so much to tell some of them, and to think of the shit I've done for them but can't get a 5 second check in text speaks volumes. Would've been better to keep it quiet.

 

[unrest]

usually filled with shameful statements such as "why would you do this to yourself" "really? you have no reason to" sometimes will get made fun of here and there but just have to deal with it. it's probably the consequence of my actions.

 

[Sleepycat]

"quit throwing tantrums and grow up!" "You do this everytime you want something." Mom/sister.
Reality, I want nothing, to be left alone, is don't wanna be around yelling and screaming. Makes things worse.
I know this is the recovery section but idk if I'm even there, more in limbo of still dealing and wishing I never woke up. But yeah...

When it happens at work it's funny looks, whispers, and awkward conversations with any supervisor who wants to address it. And usually means I won't be working anymore for a little while.

Like today a few not surprising surprises sort of sprung on me. Shit I should expect and be okay flowing with. But it's not always like that.
My brain was already in the dark this AM and with the change I got angry and overwhelmed. Now have scratches down my face. I haven't seen today's supervisor since, it's not the work that pissed me off, not that I can't work, it's not that I don't want to work. It's just me. Unfortunately my filter, self coping and control are not optimal when I have rage brain... Ugh.. now I'm just tired and edgy.

 

[savoytruffle]

"What is this!!" and thought my emo friend in junior high had talked me into doing it. i just said yes because it's easier to say yeah "sorry my weird friend told me to i won't do it again" and be done with it.

 

[psp3000]

silence and then later on emotional support and the same person who supported me made me want to do it more and didn't support me anymore and then more silence

they are the only person who knows / knew

 

[Jezzibell]

Indifferently

 

[Bassem]

No one's ever addressed them aside from a joke a classmate made a few years ago, It's not like they're minor both of my forearms are covered with scars from top to bottom and I've gotten stitched multiple times, I can't tell if people don't want to talk to me about it because they think it's a sensitive subject for me or if they just don't care

 

[ms.astral_01]

Some friends and my family freaked out, but that was mostly my fault since I proudly showed it off; if I hadn't addressed it, they probably would've thought it was some work injury or something.

 

[ferret-in-a-sock]

Was thier reaction one that made you feel better or worse about yourself? Have you received mixed reactions? How do you feel about people knowing?

My friend saw signs of it, but didn't press it. They didn't seem to know how to take it. I was defensive about it and never brought it up in conversations and so...that was that.

I prefer people not know. It's not their business and I keep it isolated.

My exception is I told my primary GP though, and admitted I had an issue and his transparency was what made me trust and appreciate him. He said "I'm not going to shame you. We can work on harm reduction but if you're choosing to do it, it's obviously filling a need or helping you cope and that's not something me saying 'don't do it' is going to fix. Just make sure you tell me if there's signs of infections so I can get you an antibiotic." It was that that made me start meds.

It didn't make me self harm more knowing I had a free ticket if I got infected, funny enough it made me do it less.

But unsurprisingly, a doctor that works with addictions gets that coping using something that hurts you isn't as black and white as "stop that. That's not good for you."

 

[Not.Flugel]

I have one friend that gets incredible down when she sees them, she was the only person to actively care about them. Another friend just doesn't understand SH, but he doesn't understand mental health either. The rest never bring it up, even if the times I cut myself on the arms with styro.

I don't really care, but I don't want them worrying about me because of SH, so now I dice my legs and shoulders, and sometimes if the urges get too strong my face.

 

[Homulily]

everyone always reacts so strongly and I hate it. I don't want to worry people so now I cut my thighs or sometimes my stomach.
people keep suspecting me of self harming now when the find (unrelated) blood of mine on stuff. (I get nose bleeds) and start telling me to show them my wrists and stuff. I have been very good at hiding my self harm for years now. it offends me a little they'd think i'd be so careless as to use a white towel to stop the bleeding or anything

 

[skybluesuicide]

got put in a psych ward

 

[cgrtt.brns]

reading later replies reminded me of two other reactions i got. my therapist at the time just kind of gasped and said "you dont clean them?" and when i said no he just changed the subject. that therapist had faded sh scars so im not sure what the reason for his reaction was but it was weird. the second was my gp at the time, while my mum was in the room he asked to see them and then said "oh i thought theyd be deeper". my mum was not happy about that lol and unsurprisingly it encouraged me to cut deeper

 

[Mirrory Me]

it's been a long time, I don't really understand what caused it... I was very impulsive when I was young, and in my weak moments I blamed myself for everything. I guess I wanted others to understand my sadness, but they didn't really - they just thought that everything wasn't okay. It didn't really make sense to be so cruel to myself.

 

[nixdeath]

When my parents first discovered I SHed (I was 15), my mom had screamed at me for a long time. Eventually I had to go to school, an iirc she screame at me again but I don't quite remember. Anyway, after this I occasionally was caught again when doctors tattled on me, and they would take my razor, tell me they loved me, and it would all start again.

 

[stressedmess]

They didn't.

I have scars & cuts on my wrists, thighs, and collarbones.

Most people in my life see it and ignore it. Very few ask what they're from.

I'm glad nobody makes it a dramatic scene.

 

[feder]

got put in a psych ward

That's what I'm afraid of, only reason I don't talk about or show my SH. Was the SH severe or more mild?

 

[skybluesuicide]

That's what I'm afraid of, only reason I don't talk about or show my SH. Was the SH severe or more mild?

It wasn't mild, but it certainly wasn't anything life-threatening that would justify putting me in a ward

 

[feder]

It wasn't mild, but it certainly wasn't anything life-threatening that would justify putting me in a ward

I've never understood how people think forcibly holding someone in a ward is going to help them in any way . I'm sorry for your experience, I hope it doesn't happen again.