How did you guys recover from a traumatic breakup?

[Alexsei]

Hey,

I recently got broken up with after 5 years and it's really taken a toll on me. We met when we were 14/15 years old. We're turning 21 this year. It was long distance but I was planning on moving to his place once I got started with my Master's program next year. We were incredibly close and he always called me his husband, his one and only, his reason to live for, etc. We promised each other countless times we'd do anything to one day be together, get married, have a family, etc.

I know there were some codependency issues but I really believed in the promises we made to each other. It feels like I've lost my entire future. He's been my goal in life for basically all of my formative years. I adore my family but they're homophobic and I really thought that I'd be able to be with him and live a normal life.

He was my best friend for 5 years and I've never been closer to anyone but him in my life. He cheated on me a few times during our relationship, said it was hard being long distance. He ghosted me 3 weeks before he broke up with me, only ended up talking to me after I basically broke down and started frantically calling him. Told me the last year we were together he had basically given up and had been looking for someone in person. Apparently he found someone at the beginning of January, got together with him mid-January, broke up with me at the beginning of this month.

I'm still processing everything. He said yes when I asked if he still wanted to be my friend but I attempted to CTB a few days ago and sent him a 9 page long suicide letter that just ended up pushing him away. When I asked why he gave up on our 5 year relationship just a year before we could actually move in together he said that he thought I wasn't serious about it. I'm still just shell shocked that he gave up everything for a guy he met barely a month ago. I feel so jaded and lost. Feel like everything is crumbling beneath me.

I've been suicidal since I first found out I'm gay. When I was with him I felt normal for the first time ever, but now that he's gone I'm reverting to how I was before. It's just so difficult.

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

Shit is hard man and all we can do is cry or lay down. Especially if you've started planning a future with them. They sound like a piece of shit tho, you deserved to be treated better than that and you deserve a better future with someone that won't easily give up on you. Yesterday, after 2 years of long distance, my partner also broke up with me and I've been listening to Twin Fatansy on repeat (it's like the gay long distance codependent and depressed album and the only thing consistent in my life) and crying as I WFH.

Take care dude.

 

[Alexsei]

Shit is hard man and all we can do is cry or lay down. Especially if you've started planning a future with them. They sound like a piece of shit tho, you deserved to be treated better than that and you deserve a better future with someone that won't easily give up on you. Yesterday, after 2 years of long distance, my partner also broke up with me and I've been listening to Twin Fatansy on repeat (it's like the gay long distance codependent and depressed album and the only thing consistent in my life) and crying as I WFH.

Take care dude.

I hope you're alright and can recover too. Been crying every day since too.

I feel kinda petty because his new guy isn't that attractive which is kinda fucking with my own self esteem since he was the one who made me feel attractive for the first time ever.

 

[hao☆]

Hey,

I recently got broken up with after 5 years and it's really taken a toll on me. We met when we were 14/15 years old. We're turning 21 this year. It was long distance but I was planning on moving to his place once I got started with my Master's program next year. We were incredibly close and he always called me his husband, his one and only, his reason to live for, etc. We promised each other countless times we'd do anything to one day be together, get married, have a family, etc.

I know there were some codependency issues but I really believed in the promises we made to each other. It feels like I've lost my entire future. He's been my goal in life for basically all of my formative years. I adore my family but they're homophobic and I really thought that I'd be able to be with him and live a normal life.

He was my best friend for 5 years and I've never been closer to anyone but him in my life. He cheated on me a few times during our relationship, said it was hard being long distance. He ghosted me 3 weeks before he broke up with me, only ended up talking to me after I basically broke down and started frantically calling him. Told me the last year we were together he had basically given up and had been looking for someone in person. Apparently he found someone at the beginning of January, got together with him mid-January, broke up with me at the beginning of this month.

I'm still processing everything. He said yes when I asked if he still wanted to be my friend but I attempted to CTB a few days ago and sent him a 9 page long suicide letter that just ended up pushing him away. When I asked why he gave up on our 5 year relationship just a year before we could actually move in together he said that he thought I wasn't serious about it. I'm still just shell shocked that he gave up everything for a guy he met barely a month ago. I feel so jaded and lost. Feel like everything is crumbling beneath me.

I've been suicidal since I first found out I'm gay. When I was with him I felt normal for the first time ever, but now that he's gone I'm reverting to how I was before. It's just so difficult.

I understand having the love of your life stolen from you, esp by a guy they just met recently. How i recovered from my ex was that i just reminded myself constantly that if she can't settle with a partner properly, i should just let her go. 3 weeks later, guy she cheated on when we used to date used her as rebound and I felt i made the right decision to finally let her go. I let things go the way they are, if you truly know they aren't good enough for you to even leave you for someone they just recently met, they had no faith at all.

 

[theboy]

Accepting... but really accepting the break-up

 

[J&L383]

No break up is easy to recover from. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need to, and then grieve some more. Try to jump back into life one piece at a time, and eventually it'll move to the back. But you'll never forget it. It becomes part of the fabric of your life.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

I cut them completely out of my life, never speak to them again, isolate, disassociate, get violently high, dwell on it forever, let it eat me alive, cry, lie in bed for hours, think about it years later.

You asked how I do it

I fall hard. I'm a hopeless romantic. Well, I was.
I should call her