How do I ctb with an actually good life and people that care about me?

[suicidal_tendencies]

I have an actually good life, people and friends that care about me, enough to eat and I have te freedom to do things I like. The thing is, I still want to ctb, out of reasons I don't want to explain here, but with all this support, it is more difficult to take the step into the void. I speaked about this with 3 of my best friends and I have the feeling most of them care about me. So, what should I do? Should I discard the idea of ctb completely or should I take some drugs or similar things to forget the support I am getting?

 

[Johnzaga23]

Go to therapy first

 

[Jadeith]

So, what should I do?

Basically you are asking others if you should kill yourself or not and i find this type of question most unwise. Noone should decide or influence the decision if your life should end or not. That's strictly for you to decide.

Go to therapy first

My thoughts exactly. After all, suicidal ideations are your mind's desperate screams for help. Please, do not ignore them. Especially since, as you said, you can expect support from your surroundings.

 

[suicidal_tendencies]

Go to therapy first

maybe I should do that but I think they will tell me that my reason is stupid. And they will do everything, so that I don't commit and can continue to work for the society and give the already rich men in this world my money. But maybe this is all delusional gibberish I am saying.

Basically you are asking others if you should kill yourself or not and i find this type of question most unwise. Noone should decide or influence the decision if your life should end or not. That's strictly for you to decide.

My thoughts exactly. After all, suicidal ideations are your mind's desperate screams for help. Please, do not ignore them. Especially since, as you said, you can expect support from your surroundings.

I mean the question itself is unwise but I try to make the right decision and i dunno. I am so uncertain at the moment, there are moments where I wanna die right now and the next second I want to live. I don't know what to do. Maybe I should at teast call 988. And then go to therapy. I'm writing this in school btw while our math teacher is explaining the topics for the class test this thursday. (I am 18, I'm in 12th grade) I don't want to participate in this test, still I want to live and don't make the people around me and myself sad.

 

[Jadeith]

but I think they will tell me that my reason is stupid

I don't think any sane therapist would say that. ANY reason, no matter how wild IS VALID for your mind and cannot be dismissed that easily. It requires work to go away. Sometimes even a medication. But simply saying "it's stupid" will solve nothing and might even worsen your situation

And they will do everything, so that I don't commit and can continue to work for the society and give the already rich men in this world my money.

First part is most probably true since you already noticed your friends DO actually care about you. Second one - well, i'd be far from assuming ill intentions from your friends but since i don't know you and i don't know them, i'll leave it to your judgement.

 

[suicidal_tendencies]

I don't think any sane therapist would say that. ANY reason, no matter how wild IS VALID for your mind and cannot be dismissed that easily. It requires work to go away. Sometimes even a medication. But simply saying "it's stupid" will solve nothing and might even worsen your situation

First part is most probably true since you already noticed your friends DO actually care about you. Second one - well, i'd be far from assuming ill intentions from your friends but since i don't know you and i don't know them, i'll leave it to your judgement.

thank you for your opinion.

 

[Still here]

Basically you are asking others if you should kill yourself or not and i find this type of question most unwise. Noone should decide or influence the decision if your life should end or not. That's strictly for you to decide.

My thoughts exactly. After all, suicidal ideations are your mind's desperate screams for help. Please, do not ignore them. Especially since, as you said, you can expect support from your surroundings.

You are so wise my friend....

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

How can anybody give you any advice without knowing your reasons?

My impression, you are much to young for such a decision. Give yourself at least 7 more years.

 

[rs929]

My personal take is: if you are in doubt, you shouldn't CTB. And you are clearly in doubt. Only when you are 100% sure that you want to CTB - then go for it.
I think you also have some good things going on.
So my answer to your question "should I ctb?" is: not yet, you're not ready. Go to therapy, maybe a psychiatrist, I think you might find a way to keep living. And you can always CTB later

 

[maniac116]

I don't understand why you would want to leave a good situation. Maybe try to get some help with whatever is giving you thoughts of suicide?
I'm not trying to talk you into or out of anything but it sounds like you're not sure about ctb but are maybe asking others to support your ctb.
At any rate, I hope you get things sorted out

 

[Johnzaga23]

maybe I should do that but I think they will tell me that my reason is stupid. And they will do everything, so that I don't commit and can continue to work for the society and give the already rich men in this world my money. But maybe this is all delusional gibberish I am saying.

No reason is stupid. You feel suicidal, and that's valid, for whatever reason that is. You just need to see if you can fix this. Go to therapy, and see if they can help you.
And don't be afraid to talk to your therapist about suicide. As long as you dont have a plan that you're planning on excecuting it any time soon, then they wont lock you in a psych ward and they wont tell anyone. Just tell them that youre having thoughts about suicide but youre not planning on actually excecuting them.

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

I agree with others, give therapy a try if you can access/afford it. If you let us know a little bit more about what the cause of your suffering is, we can suggest types of therapy that are likely to be more helpful to you than others. Between us on this website we have so many different mental health conditions, types of neurodivergence, difficult life experiences etc that we can collectively suggest what's likely to be most helpful to you.

To give myself as an example, I have a particular combination of mental health conditions that respond really well to specialist therapy targeted at those conditions, and all the other counselling/therapy I tried either didn't help me or made me worse.

 

[GoingToHangSoon]

I probably can't help much, and I don't know how extreme you may be feeling the feelings but just keep telling yourself one more day, there's no need to rush to suicide, especially when you're living a decent life, me and you are similar in that way. I have just told myself that there's no need to rush to killing myself. Maybe I can wait a few more days, you know what I mean?