Help How do I prevent my family from reporting me as missing?

[LostGirl]

I have recently failed an attempt and my family is watching me like a hawk. When growing through my stuff, I found my 2nd passport and I can sneak out of the house late at night where I plan to travel to Thailand to have one last holiday and then end it there. I am, however, worried that my parents will report me as missing and the immigration would prevent me from leaving the country. Does anyone know how I can prevent this from happening?

 

[Paulsmith]

Honest answer in my opinion is that I don't think you can stop them. Unless they choose not to by what you say in your thread is unlikely. Sorry that I could not be of any helpfulness

 

[Hunter]

Can we ask which country you're in?

 

[LostGirl]

Japan

 

[ReadyasEver]

In the US at least, if you are a minor, it's impossible. If you are an adult here, over 18, they could file you as missing and physical danger creating an alert. No way to get through customs unless the second passport is a fake.

 

[ReadyasEver]

If I remember correctly, the northern island in Japan, Hokkaido was much more rural and remote than the others. If it is, you get to countryside in a remote area for awhile.

 

[LostGirl]

In the US at least, if you are a minor, it's impossible. If you are an adult here, over 18, they could file you as missing and physical danger creating an alert. No way to get through customs unless the second passport is a fake.

I am over 18, can I pre-empt their report by going to the police station and telling them that i am not in danger and just going on a holiday?

 

[ReadyasEver]

I am over 18, can I pre-empt their report by going to the police station and telling them that i am not in danger and just going on a holiday?

That's a good idea

 

[Buddyluv19]

I am over 18, can I pre-empt their report by going to the police station and telling them that i am not in danger and just going on a holiday?

If Japan is like the US, you are an adult and can do whatever you want.

 

[ReadyasEver]

Just make sure payment methods on anything can not be traced. Credit cards or debit cards are a big no. You probably can slip out of the country, make sure you have a good amount of cash.

 

[LostGirl]

Yes if you're an adult they cannot force you to go back home or anything of that nature. However if you have a history of many welfare checks or a "record" that would increase your profile. It doesn't sound like that's the case.

I have one "record" which is the failed SN attempt about 2 weeks back but I was never admitted to a psych ward.

 

[LostGirl]

You would know Japanese Law better than any of us, but in most other modern nations as long as you are legally an adult your parents cannot prevent you from leaving. They can of course call the police and claim you are a danger to yourself etc...but when the police interview you all you have to do is appear normal and aware and say you are in no danger and they have no basis to hold you. Unless a court gave some legal pyschiatric hold you are as free as any other adult to move around despite family meddling. The worst they can do is hassle you.

This is what I think, thanks.

 

[SiArc]

You would know Japanese Law better than any of us, but in most other modern nations as long as you are legally an adult your parents cannot prevent you from leaving. They can of course call the police and claim you are a danger to yourself etc...but when the police interview you all you have to do is appear normal and aware and say you are in no danger and they have no basis to hold you. Unless a court gave some legal pyschiatric hold you are as free as any other adult to move around despite family meddling. The worst they can do is hassle you.

With regard to preemptive reporting you'd be a better judge of the culture there on that one. It would be seen as weird in some places, no big deal in others. If you were going to do so I'd tell them you were planning to travel but have overbearing parents who will likely report you missing and you wanted to make it clear you are an adult, of sound mind, and traveling of you own free will. Personally I'd skip it and deal with the police if I had to only.

I cannot remember if you live alone or not. You can use this either way. You can set up house checks for when you are gone with your local prescint/department/substation (law enforcement). It is something people do where I live when they want to make sure their house stays secure and no one breaks in while they are away. These things stay logged until the end date. It pretty much just increases patrols in the area. But it is a written record of absence.

With doing this it:
One, it lets the police know you will be gone without looking all weird.
Two, if there is a report put in on you for being missing it will subvert that by you already telling them when you will be gone. Put a fake day back so there is a timeline. You do not have to tell them where you will be going but just that you will be gone.

Usually in most 1st world countries a missing persons report generally only goes into effect 24 hours after the person is "missing" unless the person has a very strict schedule or does something so consistently that it is very odd that they missed it (i.e. calling mom every day at 2 pm). With only having one check you wouldn't be in the more immediate cocern unless you have been acting really weird these last two weeks.

What I would do is make plans. Tell your parents you are going out to eat, library, a movie, concert, walk around, something around the time you are to get on the plane so that you have some buffer time. With an event that lasts 1-2 hours you should be good. By the time they think you are missing you should be already on your way. No way for the police to track quickly where you went or even that you got on a plane (speaking from my countries stuff).

 

[21Neberg]

Why don't you simply leaving a note, saying that you're staying someplace else to calm down mentally for a couple of days? That should give you a large enough time window to CTB.

Good luck friend. How are you going to attempt in Thailand?

 

[LostGirl]

Why don't you simply leaving a note, saying that you're staying someplace else to calm down mentally for a couple of days? That should give you a large enough time window to CTB.

Good luck friend. How are you going to attempt in Thailand?

Thanks, I will do that together with a pre-emptive report to the police. I am meeting up with someone to ctb by N in Thailand.

 

[Smilla]

Thanks, I will do that together with a pre-emptive report to the police. I am meeting up with someone to ctb by N in Thailand.

Are you sure about this person? Have you known them awhile?

This sounds like a plan that could go awry very quickly.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Are you sure about this person? Have you known them awhile?

This sounds like a plan that could go awry very quickly.

I agree with Smilla, please don't do anything rash that will find you in a terrifying situation x

 

[LostGirl]

Are you sure about this person? Have you known them awhile?

This sounds like a plan that could go awry very quickly.

I agree with Smilla, please don't do anything rash that will find you in a terrifying situation x

Thank you for looking out for me. I met this person on a Japanese suicide site and have facetimed him many times. He is wheelchair-bound and would need help getting to Thailand and I would need his help in getting N there. I cannot say I trust him 100% yet but I will definitely try to get to know him more before taking the plunge.

 

[johnny]

Just be very careful. Anyone can buy a cheap wheelchair and pretend to be disabled on a webcam. May I ask why you would need his help getting N in Thailand, if you are both from Japan?

 

[LostGirl]

Just be very careful. Anyone can buy a cheap wheelchair and pretend to be disabled on a webcam. May I ask why you would need his help getting N in Thailand, if you are both from Japan?

Thank you and I will be ultra careful. I need his help as he has connections there. I have done some research on my own, N is available in Thailand but they would only sell it to people they know. As a foreigner with no connection, it will be impossible for me to get it.

 

[johnny]

Thank you and I will be ultra careful. I need his help as he has connections there. I have done some research on my own, N is available in Thailand but they would only sell it to people they know. As a foreigner with no connection, it will be impossible for me to get it.

And he is doing this for you, a random stranger he met online, for nothing at all, out of the kindness of his heart? Has he requested certain "favors" from you? If he has, and you are fine with that, then that is obviously your choice. If he hasn't mentioned that, don't be surprised if that comes up later down the line. Be prepared for that and how you will handle it. That issue could arise in a situation where you are alone with this guy and his "connections".

I'm just trying to think of this from my perspective as a guy. You are a young woman, what, 18-20 years old, and I assume physically small? And you are going with a random guy from a website, whom you've never met in person before, to a foreign country where you and he will meet up with his "connections" to take N (god knows what else his "connections" are involved with aside from N). Do you speak Thai at all, have you ever been there before? There are so many ways this can end badly, it could even go so badly that you find yourself in a situation where you wish your parents had declared you missing after all, just so there is some faint glimpse of hope that people are out there looking for you.

Sorry if this sounds over the top, but seriously, this could end badly.