Venting How do they stay so strong?

[lamy2006]

I'm constantly letting people down.
Myself, my friends, my family.

I thought I was getting better. That I had gotten better. That maybe I could be someone who provides value. Instead of this leach who just sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks.
Others are so strong, they provide something, they put up with my bullshit. They don't constantly reprimand themselves, second guess every action and then proceed to change nothing.
They don't constantly fall into the same few problems and not learn from them. I should know that even me feeling alright is temporary, but I still treat it like it isn't.

How hard is it to just not put yourself down?

All the praise I get feels so empty. Most of it wasn't deserved, most of my success is a fluke at the end of the day and meaningless.

I wrote that quote on 13/09/24.
I still feel that way. I'm only good at the things I'm good at because my brain is. It's not deserved. I'm not as strong as they think I am.

 

[Edu Ardanuy]

How hard is it to just not put yourself down?

If you find out, please, let me know

 

[Trismegistus_13]

Hey there, it sounds like you have some really negative thoughts going around in your head. I used to think a lot like you. I probably could have written this post myself a few years ago. If you don't mind, can we look at what you wrote?

I thought I was getting better. That I had gotten better.

For many people, mental illness is a chronic condition. It can have flare-ups and periods of remission. People can often feel guilt when they become worse again, but you did not do anything to cause this; it can just happen randomly.

Instead of this leach who just sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks and sucks.

This is a very negative way to look at needing help. Of course you take and take, you have a disease! That's what unhealthy people do to get better. Imagine your mental illness is instead a broken leg. Most people would not consider needing a cast, cane and rides as being "a leach." Unfortunately, we stigmatize mental illnesses as burdensome to others, when in reality, they are diseases like anything else.

Others are so strong, they provide something, they put up with my bullshit

It's a lot easier when you're not the one struggling with mental health issues, trust me

How hard is it to just not put yourself down?

It's really hard sometimes. I still struggle with putting myself down when I shouldn't. I'm doing my best to be mindful and stop myself from doing that when I realize. We're all going through our own struggles. Now, others are helping you. Later, you may be helping others. We're all pulling each other up so we can live the best lives we can. I really hope you're able to reflect on yourself and feel a bit less guilty for going through something many, many people go through.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Appearances can be deceptive, it's always important to keep that in mind. Many people are good at pretending - what you see on the surface may not be the case behind closed doors, or in their minds. I am one of those people that are classed as 'so strong, blah blah' and it is infuriating when someone says that.

Wish I could be honest but I get knocked back when I try, because people have high expectations of me (including the mental health crisis team) based on what they see, which is shit. All because I'm good at putting on a front.

I am constantly putting myself down and a chronic over thinker. Like I said, appearances can be deceptive. Those that appear ok, appear secure in themselves, confident and what not, may not be. We all have demons, and sometimes people can just simply hide it because they have to. Look at comedians - perfect example!

You're not the only one, lots of people struggle, and I hope this somewhat helps you feel less alone.

 

[Electra]

Appearances can be deceptive, it's always important to keep that in mind. Many people are good at pretending - what you see on the surface may not be the case behind closed doors, or in their minds.

Second this. You cannot know what a person is going through based on their appearance.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Second this. You cannot know what a person is going through based on their appearance.

Yep. I'm currently watching 'Cause of Death' on Channel 5 (UK) and before they determine it's a suicide, I can already tell it is, from the start. But, the families state, 'they were so happy. The life and soul of the party. No mental health issues' - no, that was fake.

The most depressed people appear the happiest. It's called putting on a front. It really irritates me when someone states how happy someone was, yet, they killed themselves. Evidently, they were NOT happy - is it still not obvious, after they've killed themselves? You still don't know? I think people say this, because they don't want to accept it and that's completely understandable. No one wants to, but sometimes we have to.

Years ago, I'd been friends with a certain friend for quite some time and he always knew me as happy. Happy as fuck. So happy. Until one day I admitted it was all a front. Now he has absolutely no idea if I'm putting on a front or genuinely happy - of course I'm not happy - we have talked a lot about my suicide over the years (not that he wanted to, but I wanted to prepare him) - because I survived the last few attempts, I'm pretty certain he thinks I'm sticking around - and because it hasn't been spoken about it quite some time (because I don't want to burden him), but no, it is actually inevitable (I've said this countless times to him). It won't be a shock or perhaps it will.

 

[exiled]

i agree that appearances don't tell the full story.

but i'm still in awe of people who are learning to fake it better.

i'm so far gone, so low that i can't even pretend anymore.

the energy to even put that brave face on is totally depleted.

 

[Vacuous]

You have to have some self-compassion and realize that you can't hold yourself to the same standards that you hold other people.

Regardless of how things may appear, everyone's fighting battles contingent on what they experience and have experienced in their lives. Proof of this manifests in different ways, all of which may not necessarily be visible to everyone.

You are your own person, who's fighting their own fight. Nobody can ever gain an understanding of you that competes with how well you understand yourself. Once you can detach yourself from others in this sense, you can come out on top.