Venting how do yall choose a suicide date? or how does ANYONE?

[ChaiTea]

does creating an actual date for a planned suicide help you cope with the fact you're going to cbt soon? i've attempted once but it didn't work out. i've been thinking about it for a bit. i'm not sure how to set a date. maybe it's the pressure?

is it usually randomized?

VENT/storytime? TLDR at the end:

it feels like whenever i start to get suicidal again, things start looking up. but i feel as though it's getting harder to care. today was a good day for me. it makes me stupidly happy when people do the small things lol. someone smiled at me in the hall. i hung out with someone for a few minutes while others did work. a few people laughed at my joke and i got a ride home from someone i thought didnt like me. i even found someone on a walk and she seemed happy to talk to me, she even felt comfortable enough to talk about her biggest hobbies with me. and this one person seems to remember all the small stuff i say, especially when i dont even remember saying it lol. and a few of us have plans to hang out this whole weekend, and i was given a task for our club that im excited about. someone even complimented me. at first i responded rudely because i thought they were being sarcastic but they weren't.

TLDR today was a good day lol. this whole week.


is that what's currently keeping me from killing myself? i never believed in all that "it's a sign from the universe" stuff. not dissing anyone that does, it's just not my thing.
maybe i want to die, maybe i dont. im really not for or against it anymore, although it feels uncomfortable to say that. its not right, i have a preference. but im not sure what.
tbh i forgot what my original post was about lmao. i just like posting about it i guess :) how are yalls day going?

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

Do not CTB on a holiday or birthday is my advice

 

[TiredKitty]

Do not CTB on a holiday or birthday is my advice

May I ask why? Curious since my plan for when I eventually CTB would (ideally) be on my own birthday

 

[coolgal82]

i dont have a set date im just gonna go when i decide to go cus i cant predict how i'll feel on that day lol

 

[ayla]

for me i dont rly have any date but more so a day? moment? idk. i want to ctb the day i meet my goal weight which im about 15ish lbs away from, so yea dont know when for sure but soon i hope

 

[TAW122]

No set time, date, or so, just depending on circumstances and where I am. I want to be 100% I'm ready and have everything I want done, sorted before I go, still have yet to get there, but each passing day it's looking closer and closer. Maybe end of 2024, maybe into 2025, no time/date as my circumstances still have to align.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I doubt I'll plan anything far in advance, too much time to worry. I've already started getting rid of stuff though, cleaning out closets and the attic. I'll take it month by month, and see how I feel about things. I'd like to maybe go out one July. There's no one close to me that was born in July.

 

[BoredNTired]

I basically started burning bridges to give myself a deadline. I stopped attending classes, started lying to my parents, stopped most self care, basically things that I knew would catch up to me by this semesters end when at best I'd be put on academic probation, and my parent notified. I really have no other way out at this point, and I'd have it no other way.

 

[imadeahugemistake]

I began isolating myself from everyone a few months ago. I moved across the country (US) last year for a job opportunity. I changed my phone number about 2 months ago.

I set an exact date and time in the future. The date only holds significance to me and one other person in my life. It's far out enough that I can get everything I need to in order before I depart. The planning process has given me a sense of calm that I haven't felt in years.

The time of my departure will be right after sunrise. I want to experience that one last time before I go.

 

[HopeToStay]

I don't want to choose a date. I'm just going to do it on a whim when i gain the means. That way i can just go about things normally in the meantime and avoid thinking about it.

 

[dazednconfused]

i mean i just decided based on when id have everything ready lol. if i fail to do it that day, ill wait until things go haywire for me again and do it all on impulse lol.

 

[SixNeufUn]

When everything's ready the same day imo.

 

[StandardOtter]

The dates I chose were semi-practical, like when I was attempting an outdoor hanging I didn't want to do it in summer, because there were more likely to be people (and bigs) around even at night, and I didn't want to have to celebrate christmas, because that's one of the few times I still have to socialise. That narrowed my choices down to a couple of months and I just picked an arbitrary day, which became significant as I spent the next few months thinking about it.

Of course I'm still alive so maybe my approach was not good.

 

[sevennn]

if i could literally choose any day. i'd go on new years. but it's a holiday. if i had no family i would go then. can't. so.. i'm thinking june next year.

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

I don't have a date set. I think for me it's mostly when I feel comfortable enough with my method to just go ahead and do it. I've already drives/browser history wiped and passwords set on anything else I'm using actively.

 

[EmptyCurtainCall]

May I ask why? Curious since my plan for when I eventually CTB would (ideally) be on my own birthday

i know you didn't ask me but the reason alot of ppl avoid doing that is bc of the association of those days w your death . i don't think anyone would want someone's birthday to roll around and be reminded that , that was their last one , that they lost you on that day . or holidays , they may never enjoy christmas again or valentine's day or whatever holiday you could end up choosing . although they'll remember what day you died regardless of when , picking days that are associated w celebration and happiness can only exacerbate the pain they feel on these days that are manufactured to be the opposite .

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

May I ask why? Curious since my plan for when I eventually CTB would (ideally) be on my own birthday

Oh sorry I saw this late, it's just because if someone were to discover you on that date like your birthday or on a major holiday then it would potentially cause a lot of trauma for them. Like if you did it on Christmas they would associate Christmas with your death. I mean idk about your personal life but I feel like it's not a good idea to have those two things mix. Also if it's on a day where a lot of people are out spending time with their families and going out and having fun and what not I think it would be easier to get caught CTB'ing and you'd have a higher chance of getting "saved" and become a permanent vegetable or being put in a mental hospital. Hope this helps!

 

[lionetta12]

does creating an actual date for a planned suicide help you cope with the fact you're going to cbt soon? i've attempted once but it didn't work out. i've been thinking about it for a bit. i'm not sure how to set a date. maybe it's the pressure?

is it usually randomized?

VENT/storytime? TLDR at the end:

it feels like whenever i start to get suicidal again, things start looking up. but i feel as though it's getting harder to care. today was a good day for me. it makes me stupidly happy when people do the small things lol. someone smiled at me in the hall. i hung out with someone for a few minutes while others did work. a few people laughed at my joke and i got a ride home from someone i thought didnt like me. i even found someone on a walk and she seemed happy to talk to me, she even felt comfortable enough to talk about her biggest hobbies with me. and this one person seems to remember all the small stuff i say, especially when i dont even remember saying it lol. and a few of us have plans to hang out this whole weekend, and i was given a task for our club that im excited about. someone even complimented me. at first i responded rudely because i thought they were being sarcastic but they weren't.

TLDR today was a good day lol. this whole week.


is that what's currently keeping me from killing myself? i never believed in all that "it's a sign from the universe" stuff. not dissing anyone that does, it's just not my thing.
maybe i want to die, maybe i dont. im really not for or against it anymore, although it feels uncomfortable to say that. its not right, i have a preference. but im not sure what.
tbh i forgot what my original post was about lmao. i just like posting about it i guess :) how are yalls day going?

I just know that I personally wouldn't do it on someone's or my own birthday or on any celebratory holidays. Don't want to ruin someone's birthday or their memory of a holiday that they enjoy. I'm going to try to have a nice, relaxing, ideal, joyful time before I CTB, for at least a week prior. Once I feel that I've lived well that week, it's then time for me to CTB and I'll probably feel ready and comfortable with it then.

 

[norain]

I would do it any day after getting the method and do the last thing I want to do like go out to a place and do what I want for the last time meditating a little and one night when I go to sleep and finally it is the last and just fall into deep sleep