Discussion How do y’all get through the day?

[Noct]

Ended up being vent ish but marked as discussion because I genuinely need suggestions.



Most days, I can find something to keep me busy or to pick short deadline after short deadline of things to get through before I can just sleep where I don't have to experience the pain of constant thought or living but on days like today I'm honestly so lost as to how to get through even an hour.

How do you guys survive the days when you have responsibilities but you wake up suicidal and just in a depressive haze that every minute conscious is just agony? How do you guys fight the urges of wanting to skip everything to take the day off regardless of consequence and just try to sleep and sleep and sleep so you don't have to be awake or think? Nothing bad has happened so far today. In fact my head is mostly blank, but the only thoughts I do have is just desperately NEEDING to escape whatever fog has settled on me is. Getting this bad isn't unusual but it's been a week or two straight of hardly being able to open my eyes or do anything and Every morning I can feel the tired and regret of being alive so bone deep. Every hour and every minute feels like lifetimes and I want none of it.

I can't CTB yet still because I haven't finished a few key things and definitely don't have all my materials in order but gods do I wish I had the means this instant I can't fucking do this.

 

[TANETS]

I just made a forum about this in the recovery section, but the phrase "everything passes" is what personally helps me a lot. I do hold a thread of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Ozzyno]

I just have to go to work because I need to pay off the debt. When I'll be done with that I'll hang myself. I'm doing this because I don't want my mother to be paying for my stuff. I've done a mistake by buying a house because I could've killed myself three years ago if I didn't.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just suffer in this cruel, torturous existence just waiting to die, the fact that I cannot just have the option to painlessly die in peace always feels so horrible, I wish I could just die in peace, never suffer again and forget about it all but of course the suffering just continues. I'd never wish for the burden of suffering in this existence but rather I just wish for death, all I hope for is to die, it's all I can ever hope for, under no circumstances would I wish to exist, I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer in an existence where there's no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to be tortured by old age. Just being conscious and aware is always something so terrible to me, I see existing as just being suffering all for the sake of it and more than anything I wish I never suffered at all, I'm always wishing to just erase my existence.