How do you determine if death is really the answer?

[M+A_forever]

After reading your stories (thanks for sharing them,) I realized just how cruel life can be, or how unfortunate and fortunate some can be and how it can happen dramatically.

With that said I am curious as to how you guys determined that death is the only way to go. For starters, I know that it is a stupid question, yes I am aware that many of you find yourselves in situations,I cannot even fathom the amount of pain that you guys endure, and that alone is enough for you to determine that death is your choice.

And yes it can be answered by a "life gave me a burden too hard to carry."

But the answer I'm looking for is a little bit deeper than that.

For context, a few years ago I found myself on a rather unfortunate circumstance, and after a long reflection, I realized that death might be my choice. Still I have things to live for, for example I had my education, some people actually do believe in me and there was a lot that I want to do even if I can't do them at that time.

And so I fell into an exhausting pattern of depression - having enough will to live - depression again - having enough will to live again - so on and so forth

One time I want to CTB and then the other a part of me says "hey maybe it'll be okay tomorrow, you should live".

You see where I'm going here? I do not want to fall into this cycle. Hence begs the question: How do you determine if death is the appropriate choice? Or how do you determine that you can no longer continue and it's time to give up?

Is it when you lose everything? Is it when you can no longer carry on? Is it the fear of what the future holds or if it no longer has anything in store?

And I'm sorry in advance if it's too invasive. I am kind of trying to grasp the idea of CTB, after all I'm new here and to this kind stuff and it would help if my mind would be less clouded by the time I decide to CTB.

 

[dontlook]

Just wanting to send support and say that I'm struggling with the same thing currently. Trying to determine a way to figure out when it's time to say it's over.

I hope we can get some insight, but ultimately I think it's really something that only we can answer ourselves

 

[M+A_forever]

Just wanting to send support and say that I'm struggling with the same thing currently. Trying to determine a way to figure out when it's time to say it's over.

I hope we can get some insight, but ultimately I think it's really something that only we can answer ourselves

I'm glad I'm not alone, thanks for that. You're correct it's up to us to answer that at the end of the day. I just thought that maybe it'd help if we reflect together, who knows, maybe we can figure out a basis for an answer and we'll find our answers if we share our insights.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

A lot of things can push an individual over the edge and it can drive them to a point when life becomes unbearable for them.

Is it when you lose everything? Is it when you can no longer carry on? Is it the fear of what the future holds or if it no longer has anything in store?

To lose everything important to us is probably a major thing that makes people suicidal. Whatever it is it's subjective.

Death is the permanent solution to all problems that make us suicidal. Death is the relief from all the agony, suffering and pain we have to endure. That's one thing, the other thing is - it's not that easy to kys and it's never the easy way out though it's the only way out in some cases.

In my case, I should have killed myself years ago bc after a big failure life there was nothing positive coming thereafter. I have to deal with shit that wouldn't have happened if I kms right after the failure.

I already knew that it's over and there's no satisfying recovery - yet, I couldn't kms. It's the only way out but it's never easy.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me nothing needs to be determined, I'd always prefer to not exist than to suffer in this torturous, pointless existence I always saw as the most cruel mistake. To me human existence is a terrible burden that just causes harm all for the sake of it, I'd always prefer to painlessly die than suffer for the sake of it in this existence with no limit as to how much agony I can feel just to be tortured by extreme old age. Under no circumstances would I wish to be conscious at all rather I just want nothingness instead, I only see never existing again as desirable, for me existence itself will always be the true problem no matter what, I never wished for existence in the first place.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't see death as a bad thing. In my case, I see it as the best thing ever that could happen to me. I follow the evidence which seems to allude to the idea that death is just permanent non existence. I see permanent non existence as perfection. Pro lifers say that this is bad due to opportunity cost and the deprivation count whilst I've seen other people say that this is neutral. I personally think that death is neither bad nor neutral. On the spectrum of good to bad, I believe that death isn't on the spectrum at all since regardless of whether your life is good or not, being dead prevents the dead person from caring or being negatively affected by the opportunity cost. In that way, it's a nullifier of some sorts but I wouldn't say that it's neutral as that implies that a good state is better than death which it isn't as a dead person no longer needs to feel good.

Anyways, point here is that, due to the nature of death, I see it as the best thing possible and it's something that I really want for myself as earlier as possible.

Additionally, I believe that an earlier death is better than a later death for me since, the earlier I die, the less I suffer in existence overall. Me dying at 19 is better than me dying at 29 which is better than me dying at 39 and so forth. It's just a simple calculation of suffering. Unlike pro lifers, I don't see suffering as good regardless of whether it's instrumental suffering or not

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

When you come to the utilitarian conclusion that your death will cause others to suffer less long term

 

[cloudyskye]

I have no hope that my life will improve significantly. I'm actually scared more when things seem to be going "ok" because it always and I mean always gets worse after. The only correlation is if something good happens, the better it is, the worse it'll be after. The longer things are liveable the longer it will be worse after. I honestly feel like I serve no purpose and I am a burden to my loved ones.

 

[Forever Sleep]

For me, it was the following thought process: If I manage to achieve what I most want in life- will I be happy then? I have the advantage that I'm 44 and I've already achieved in part what I wanted. So I suppose I know first hand, it's unlikely to be enough. Or- it carries with it certain very unpleasant additions.

For example- you might get a creative career you wanted but you may well have to work all hours to keep it and it may end up being financially terrible! You may make close friendships but it hurts so much if you lose them. You may end up working a better paid, more stable job with an official sounding title so- everyone will think you've nailed 'adulting' but you'll be so stressed, overworked and unhappy, you'll barely feel human anymore. I suppose I feel like there's just too much shit in life for it to be worth it. Too much risk and worry.

That all said, I've also felt unable to absolutely choose death while my Dad is still alive. It's always seemed like the better option but I suppose I won't actually know I've made the decision until I'm in a place where I feel I'm free to act on it. So in part, sometimes I wonder if I'm kidding myself. I think if I am reluctant, it's more because I'm afraid of the process of death though or worse- screwing up an attempt, rather than doubts on whether I want to experience more life. I think I'm done.

 

[isolatedl111]

A lot of things can push an individual over the edge and it can drive them to a point when life becomes unbearable for them.


To lose everything important to us is probably a major thing that makes people suicidal. Whatever it is it's subjective.

Death is the permanent solution to all problems that make us suicidal. Death is the relief from all the agony, suffering and pain we have to endure. That's one thing, the other thing is - it's not that easy to kys and it's never the easy way out though it's the only way out in some cases.

In my case, I should have killed myself years ago bc after a big failure life there was nothing positive coming thereafter. I have to deal with shit that wouldn't have happened if I kms right after the failure.

I already knew that it's over and there's no satisfying recovery - yet, I couldn't kms. It's the only way out but it's never easy.

Dedication

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Dedication

How can I develop dedication if I don't want to die but external circumstances force me to die bc this is the only relief? The other option is a life I don't want to live (if it gets worse - that's what I'm dreading)?

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

When you come to the utilitarian conclusion that your death will cause others to suffer less long term

That's sad. I feel my loved ones will suffer more in my absence, but that's fine I think. Cause I'll be too dead to care

 

[Nobodi]

After reading your stories (thanks for sharing them,) I realized just how cruel life can be, or how unfortunate and fortunate some can be and how it can happen dramatically.

With that said I am curious as to how you guys determined that death is the only way to go. For starters, I know that it is a stupid question, yes I am aware that many of you find yourselves in situations,I cannot even fathom the amount of pain that you guys endure, and that alone is enough for you to determine that death is your choice.

And yes it can be answered by a "life gave me a burden too hard to carry."

But the answer I'm looking for is a little bit deeper than that.

For context, a few years ago I found myself on a rather unfortunate circumstance, and after a long reflection, I realized that death might be my choice. Still I have things to live for, for example I had my education, some people actually do believe in me and there was a lot that I want to do even if I can't do them at that time.

And so I fell into an exhausting pattern of depression - having enough will to live - depression again - having enough will to live again - so on and so forth

One time I want to CTB and then the other a part of me says "hey maybe it'll be okay tomorrow, you should live".

You see where I'm going here? I do not want to fall into this cycle. Hence begs the question: How do you determine if death is the appropriate choice? Or how do you determine that you can no longer continue and it's time to give up?

Is it when you lose everything? Is it when you can no longer carry on? Is it the fear of what the future holds or if it no longer has anything in store?

And I'm sorry in advance if it's too invasive. I am kind of trying to grasp the idea of CTB, after all I'm new here and to this kind stuff and it would help if my mind would be less clouded by the time I decide to CTB.

When the cycle of thinking that'll it be better tomorrow stops. When your heart isn't fully feeling sad but apathy plagues it the most and you now know nothing in existence excites you. When you have a desired moment to feel what theses people who have a near death experience or ego death go Thur maybe then I feel that beautiful emotion called love because here in this reality it simply doesn't exist.

 

[(in)sane]

You see where I'm going here? I do not want to fall into this cycle. Hence begs the question: How do you determine if death is the appropriate choice? Or how do you determine that you can no longer continue and it's time to give up?

Leonardo Da Vinci said: "As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death."
You never know what the future brings, and dying with regrets sucks. But if you're so sick of life that you can die without feeling like there could've been another way, that's where I would say it's appropriate to quit. It doesn't mean you're giving up, it just means you didn't get any further than you did. If you feel like you're giving up on something, I'd encourage you to keep going.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

When the cycle of thinking that'll it be better tomorrow stops. When your heart isn't fully feeling sad but apathy plagues it the most and you now know nothing in existence excites you. When you have a desired moment to feel what theses people who have a near death experience or ego death go Thur maybe then I feel that beautiful emotion called love because here in this reality it simply doesn't exist.

Beautifully said, a lot of us want to feel again

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I see my Death asap as the only rational solution . It's my goal and purpose

I have reasons on top of reasons for this.

I need to look at everything as how much it moves me closer or farther away from my suicide/Death

It doesn't matter what another human does, only if they affect me or my suicide directly

Just some general reasons that would apply In any case but these sum up on top of each other making life a nightmare

There is no objective reason why I have to live another minute in this hell

I don't want to work 15 hours per day a job chores to do lists fixing problems worrying being humiliated cleaning every damn thing for no reason only to exist under threat of extreme torture

Every sentient animal is under threat of extreme torture

The bad things far outweigh any supposedly good things

This life was imposed on me .

They made it an even worse prison by making it a crime for anyone to help u escape this life

 

[pxradij]

After reading your stories (thanks for sharing them,) I realized just how cruel life can be, or how unfortunate and fortunate some can be and how it can happen dramatically.

With that said I am curious as to how you guys determined that death is the only way to go. For starters, I know that it is a stupid question, yes I am aware that many of you find yourselves in situations,I cannot even fathom the amount of pain that you guys endure, and that alone is enough for you to determine that death is your choice.

And yes it can be answered by a "life gave me a burden too hard to carry."

But the answer I'm looking for is a little bit deeper than that.

For context, a few years ago I found myself on a rather unfortunate circumstance, and after a long reflection, I realized that death might be my choice. Still I have things to live for, for example I had my education, some people actually do believe in me and there was a lot that I want to do even if I can't do them at that time.

And so I fell into an exhausting pattern of depression - having enough will to live - depression again - having enough will to live again - so on and so forth

One time I want to CTB and then the other a part of me says "hey maybe it'll be okay tomorrow, you should live".

You see where I'm going here? I do not want to fall into this cycle. Hence begs the question: How do you determine if death is the appropriate choice? Or how do you determine that you can no longer continue and it's time to give up?

Is it when you lose everything? Is it when you can no longer carry on? Is it the fear of what the future holds or if it no longer has anything in store?

And I'm sorry in advance if it's too invasive. I am kind of trying to grasp the idea of CTB, after all I'm new here and to this kind stuff and it would help if my mind would be less clouded by the time I decide to CTB.

After reading your stories (thanks for sharing them,) I realized just how cruel life can be, or how unfortunate and fortunate some can be and how it can happen dramatically.

With that said I am curious as to how you guys determined that death is the only way to go. For starters, I know that it is a stupid question, yes I am aware that many of you find yourselves in situations,I cannot even fathom the amount of pain that you guys endure, and that alone is enough for you to determine that death is your choice.

And yes it can be answered by a "life gave me a burden too hard to carry."

But the answer I'm looking for is a little bit deeper than that.

For context, a few years ago I found myself on a rather unfortunate circumstance, and after a long reflection, I realized that death might be my choice. Still I have things to live for, for example I had my education, some people actually do believe in me and there was a lot that I want to do even if I can't do them at that time.

And so I fell into an exhausting pattern of depression - having enough will to live - depression again - having enough will to live again - so on and so forth

One time I want to CTB and then the other a part of me says "hey maybe it'll be okay tomorrow, you should live".

You see where I'm going here? I do not want to fall into this cycle. Hence begs the question: How do you determine if death is the appropriate choice? Or how do you determine that you can no longer continue and it's time to give up?

Is it when you lose everything? Is it when you can no longer carry on? Is it the fear of what the future holds or if it no longer has anything in store?

And I'm sorry in advance if it's too invasive. I am kind of trying to grasp the idea of CTB, after all I'm new here and to this kind stuff and it would help if my mind would be less clouded by the time I decide to CTB.

i feel you man,
i just lost the love of my life, she was hit by a car at full speed right in front of me
other than the gruesome images of her covered in blood that wont ever leave my mind, i struggle to find a purpose in my life without her.
i dont want to fall in love again, no one can give me the love she had for me and i dont think i can love anyone ever again.
i just want to end it all, i dont have any interest in pursuing my interests anymore.
i study architecture, but its hard to even get up and go to class because my mind is only focused on her. i want to join her so bad and ive been thinking about death ever since i lost her.
but whenever i think about suicide, i wonder: should i do it to end my suffering and finally be with the love of my life again, or should i not do it because of the friends and family that love me and that dont want to see me suffering? in other words, do i do it for me or do i not do it for others?
i know that the person i just lost, the love of my life, would never want me to end things and so does my family, but i dont see a future in which i feel better and i dont want to live without her being a part of my life.
i think death is the answer in my case, but who should i think about when considering suicide: me or the people around me?

 

[atre]

If either your mental health or physical health (or worse of all cases; both...) is in a decline, I would call that situation hopeless, therefore death being an answer. Trying and surviving day by day only to see that your situation has not changed (in my case 8 years so far) or gone worse is an exhausting experience.