• If you haven't yet, we highly encourage you to check out our Recovery Resources thread!
  • Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

  • Security update: At around 2:28AM EST, the site was labeled as malicious by Google erroneously, causing users to get a "Dangerous site" warning in most browsers. It appears that this was done by mistake and has been reversed by Google. It may take a few hours for you to stop seeing those warnings.

    If you're still getting these warnings, please let a member of staff know.
S

stillweary

Member
May 15, 2020
74
I experienced a succession of awful things in life that led me here. It is clear that none of my dreams or any of the things I've worked for in my life are going to bear any sort of meaningful fruit. It doesn't make sense to keep pursuing dreams that aren't going to come true.

What do you do with the rest of your time when you know that none of your dreams are going to come true? I have decades of filler time until my body naturally dies along with all the dreams I had in life. Telling me to find a new dream is about as helpful as telling a grieving mother who lost her child to just have another child. I can't figure out what to do with the rest of my time, because nothing matters very much.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Random, The end !, Good4Nothing and 4 others
moonchild

moonchild

Student
May 8, 2020
125
I'm sorry you feel that way, it's awful to feel like nothing matters. Personally, I've come to the conclusion the the only thing that helps is to work on acceptance. It's not ideal, and could probably be more or less good advice depending on what kind of dream we're talking about. I have some dream/goal that I know isn't going to work out as I had hoped, so I'm trying to focus on a scaled-down version of it that's more realistic right now. That way I not trying to find something "new", but rather adapting the dream/goal I already had.
 
  • Love
Reactions: anhedonicNfoggy and The end !
K

KolK

Member
Nov 29, 2020
86
I don't know, and that's why I am still struggling with the decision to CTB or not.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: catsrprettycuteman, The end !, Cherry Crumpet and 1 other person
Sherri

Sherri

Archangel
Sep 28, 2020
13,794
I take it day by day, and find a lot of comfort here. Don't even know if the meds are working anymore. It's hard when you have a loooong day ahead and I have nothing to do but expect the night comes so I can go to sleep. Hugs sweetie.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Random, The end !, Secrets1 and 3 others
Angst Filled Fuck Up

Angst Filled Fuck Up

Visionary
Sep 9, 2018
2,985
I think most of us have our dreams dashed one way or another, life is a bitch like that. In the end you start to change. You stop living for dreams and just live for the sake of survival. It's crap but the sobering reality for many, myself included. I was always a big dreamer but so much went wrong for me that I just had to put everything to bed.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: The end !, Secrets1, Good4Nothing and 1 other person
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Well, people who have faith in whatever can find motivation.

As for me, my motivation was my dad and dog Tomi but now I'm so depressed that no one can help me.

There is no motivation for me anymore. How will I go on living, then? I don't have a clue.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: The end !, Spitfire and WhatDoesTheFoxSay?
WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

WhatDoesTheFoxSay?

Hold your head high, and your middle finger higher
Dec 25, 2020
1,143
The scene in Spongebob Squarepants where Mr Krabs goes over to the tombstone which reads "Here Lies Squidward's Hopes and Dreams"
couldn't be a better description of my state of mind. Somewhere down the road, I've ceased to dream. Having groped in the dark for a long time, I stopped looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. As of now, I have no wants or desires, and I honestly don't know what to do with my life.
I try to take one day at a time, taking comfort in the fact that I can end things should life get too hard.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: The end !, Midnight, TooMuchToBear and 4 others
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm de-stressing
Jul 1, 2020
6,995
may i ask what your dreams are?
 
  • Love
Reactions: The end !
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
Damm, I've lost all my dreams, I really did. I've fucked up my life. What it could've been and what it is, its such a huge difference.
My dreams came true, but without me, so I lost. Money, Girl, and Mood, is there anything else? Health, it did took a toll too.
So now I do know my dreams are not coming true, and its depression fault, my parents fault for not taking me to the right doctor (endocrinologist), and lastly me, for I am responsible for today.
And guess what?
I do have a job, but today I have no fucking clue where im headed! I do have a job, I just screwed up with a girl I met just as recovery started, I couldnt commit knowing three, four months prior I was going to drink my N.
So fuck it, I lost her, I lost ALL my money few years back, now I have to work!! (like everybody else, but I wouldn't need to if I had not lost my ..)

Following your reasoning, damm, I should drink my expired N too. But I wont, not today, cause, like they said. Live the day. yes

For me its more like, as said above, finding a new fucking dream!!! one that's realistic bro... something that we like and would do.... what could it be?

I'm on the road to discovery..... might even learn to create and build jokes? I dont fucking know!!

Definitely, after TRT , testosterone and some esteroid, I do not feel like killing myself anymore.
Now I had some liver issues because of the happy anabolic steroids I was taking, but I quit.... and doctor says its going to be alright.
Blood testing my liver again on Monday morning.

Suck it up? Perhaps we need to suck up our own pains?

life is a struggle, face it ? accept it?
damm! I wont go back to live how I was living before TRT and DBOL, now I have to stop Dbol and see how it goes. Probably HCG for my balls and recent sex drive issues, (just yesterday for the first time, and in the morning, might be psychological, because my friend, its a friend, but she's getting to attached I think, and we discuss it, Im still attached to the other girl, and she and me are not just quite alike... plus I didnt felt like having sex with her... kinda weird, I thought thats what I wanted yesterday evening... hmm...

but you know what?
Im actually fine, im just lost, I dont know what I really want to do in life, and im 38 almost 39 now.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: The end ! and Kassender

Similar threads

ValkyrieCain
Replies
6
Views
239
Suicide Discussion
ParalyzedVeteran
ParalyzedVeteran
mahoganylvr
Replies
4
Views
226
Recovery
spero_meliora
spero_meliora
princessame
Replies
3
Views
231
Suicide Discussion
EternalShore
EternalShore