Help How do you make a friend when

[hoping to lose hope]

You have nearly no empathy at all so cannot click with people on an emotional level?
I feel like a bitch for being like this as I know many struggle socially and want a friend but others do not like them
but I have no problem being likable and people tend to want/try to become very close with me.
It just feels like a slap in the face reminding me I cannot feel anything for anyone.
I am told that it is a part of a so far incurable personality disorder- schizoid.
I have not ever felt anything for family ever they may as well be strangers I leech of.
Sometimes I try to pretend to be friends and close with others trying the fake it till I make it but it never works
and I just end up causing them harm.
I have had a couple instances in my life of having a friend but they are far and few.

I feel as if I am an alien and hate that I am the way I am.
I do not get lonely even without online interaction.
Entirely in a world of my own and wish I could join someone elses but a broken brain does not let me.

 

[signifying nothing]

What you've written is very contradictory. You say you lack empathy and don't feel, but then your post is full of feeling and instances of empathy. Its a weird read.

Saying all that, I know how you don't feel because I don't feel like that too.

I think we feel too much, too deeply, to the point that it is too overwhelming for us to experience directly. We are locked out from that part of ourselves. It makes ongoing and close relationships very difficult.

I guess we get what we can get, and try to accept that we cannot have relationships in the normal sense.

 

[hoping to lose hope]

What you've written is very contradictory. You say you lack empathy and don't feel, but then your post is full of feeling and instances of empathy. Its a weird read.

Yes I should have been clearer I try to do the right thing despite not suffering from guilt and as it benefits me.
I love to care and it is only when I have a friend it is bpd/schizoid thing which is apparently very rare and as confusing for me as it seems to others.

Selfishness is the cause behind every action a human makes and I am able to knowingly see that even having a friend is selfish for me as I enjoy caring about them.

I think we feel too much, too deeply, to the point that it is too overwhelming for us to experience directly. We are locked out from that part of ourselves. It makes ongoing and close relationships very difficult.

This but with hurt from people that seems to be the theory of how one develops schizoid and bpd also.
I just wish I could feel that care I have made family upset when I mentionedI feel nothing at al for them and keep up communication as a chore so I can leech off them as it is needed.

 

[signifying nothing]

...

 

[timf]

The lack of emotion you describes sounds a little like how Aspergers is described. You may want to look into this but it can be a little confusing because it has now been labeled and combined with autism.

In Asperger circles the pretense of emotional connectivity is called "masking". It is done, often in work situations, to help people function in a world that can seem hostile to them. It may be not so much a low level of emotional ability, but an excessive ability to focus that places emotional issues more to the side.

If you can be touched by a sad movie, angered by an injustice, or happy when something you worked hard for comes together, you may not be as lacking in emotional depth as you think.

 

[massiveblackhole]

i have been described as a soulless bitch. i say things that are brutally honest without realising they hurt people's feelings. i have no friends now. its hard when you dont even realise what you are saying are hurting people feelings.