Volatile
God
- Jun 18, 2018
- 1,286
Every year this void gets bigger. It's like my own personal black hole. It's enveloping me.
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Hey Guest,
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RyanSuicide
Student
- Jan 7, 2019
- 117
I took drugs for a long time but it ends up fucking you up even more
Othermind
Specialist
- Dec 26, 2018
- 301
Meh, there's no such thing as a "healthy coping mechanism" so you need to weigh out how much you got fucked up from drugs against how much life would have fucked you up anyways. IMO they're usually a net good if you're in the position where you would decide to come to a place like this.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,925
For me, I'd just bury myself in many long videos on YT, playing video games, and listening to music. I do still think about ctb frequently since that's something that I know I'd do at some point in my life. It is just a matter of when and where (depending on what sets me off or pushes me to the edge to go through with it).
RyanSuicide
Student
- Jan 7, 2019
- 117
You are basically the same as me
Find a hobby, work on being more brave and challenging yourself to try things, go to gym or find workout tools for home use, have sex, own a pet, have a kid, get a gf, learn to do something that you might be able to make money at. Attitude and thought change work which is not fun and requires daily work. It's difficult to get you to get out of pessimist thinking, it actually takes mindfulness and regular effort to get your mind to start to become more optimistic even when u think there's no opportunity in sight. You feel empty because you need meaning and something to do that gives you responsibility. Out of this happiness comes.
RyanSuicide
Student
- Jan 7, 2019
- 117
I like everything you post
It's getting harder and harder everyday.
Watson
Wats-on your mind?
- Nov 28, 2018
- 165
I feel you. Continuing to exists is getting harder each day.
21Neberg
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2018
- 1,624
It certainly is. What has helped me is to find distraction though. I usually play games and plan my suicide. I hope you'll pull through these hard times.
goesforemast
Member
- Jan 12, 2019
- 35
Most of the time i played video games too after school/work now. But now i'am at a point where i come home and dont even enjoy playing video games anymore. i just sit there, browse this forum and search for N or watch YT/Prime/Netflix. Every day, every week till i fall asleep. It's getting worse and i jope my N is coming soon :/
azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
I think I'm developing a porn addiction. I'm not saying it's a good outlet, but I certainly turn to one of my sites several times a day when I feel rejected and daunted by the world. I even applied to work at my fabfavor porn site--no, not in the films, but you know, on the "business end." This site helps me so much. Just SO much. This community is so intellectual and non-judgemental, for the most part. Some of you members have really helped me through hard times--times in which no one else was there. I owe so much to this site. It's great not to feel alone.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Drugs. But it used to be bodybuilding, sports, and nutrition for me.
Dead Meat
DOOMED
- Oct 10, 2018
- 18,395
Can't make it go away to far gone physically which led to mentally
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
Honestly..... sex, relationships, career.... exercise, friends, hobbies.... none of that means anything anymore. Just a giant empty hole I throw my time into. I don't feel what I am supposed to from it. Drugs still work. But they don't make me feel happy. Just numb. Which is fine.
I didn't even know a person could feel like this....
I didn't even know a person could feel like this....
I fill it with fixating on death. It's the last thing left on the shelf that I want. I had everything else. It all ended up sucking. The last thing left will be the best. Save the best for last. The Grand Finale.
That's what I fill it with. Dreams of cancer, heart attack, massive deadly stroke, fatal car accident, decapitation, blood, corpse, it goes on and on.
That's what I fill it with. Dreams of cancer, heart attack, massive deadly stroke, fatal car accident, decapitation, blood, corpse, it goes on and on.
Stillnotsure
Experienced
- Dec 18, 2018
- 245
Volunteer. It may sound crazy. But when you spend all your time volunteering a few things happen. You arent spending all your time alone anymore. You catch yourself having fun. You make new friends. You catch yourself looking forward to something again. You see other's in worse situations than yourself. You become empathetic to other peoples problems, stepping outside your own. I could go on.
Just try it. You got nothing to lose right?
Go pack food for the hungry, scoop soup for the homeless, pick up trash on the highway with a group, find a Big Brother\ Big Sister program, Be a tutor for someone trying to learn English. Whatever you want, find your interest in a volunteer place and try it. Go more than once to give it a fair shake.
Just try it. You got nothing to lose right?
Go pack food for the hungry, scoop soup for the homeless, pick up trash on the highway with a group, find a Big Brother\ Big Sister program, Be a tutor for someone trying to learn English. Whatever you want, find your interest in a volunteer place and try it. Go more than once to give it a fair shake.
GhostedToast
Wants to disappear
- Sep 25, 2018
- 144
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
Sick Boy
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 186
I agree it gets harder every year,the things that helps me are drinking alot of coffee,i smoke cigarrettes,watch tv,youtube,movies,listening music
i know it not always Works but it helps to fight the ctb feelings for awhile
i know it not always Works but it helps to fight the ctb feelings for awhile
Redt2go
flower child
- Jan 5, 2019
- 1,643
Yeah, lately music makes me feel something though
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
I will agree with that actually. Music has not left me yet.
