How do you pick your fights?

[timetosleep]

There are so many obstacles in the recovery process. It's very hard to put one's life together while recovering. If you only have so much energy to move forward each day, how do you pick your fights? What do you let go knowing that it's a losing battle?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I think the old saying "don't sweat the small stuff" applies here. Try to focus your time and energy on the issues that brought you to this point in your life.

 

[So-lowgid]

I may be typing/thinking too soon & taking your question too literally...but random fights with strangers who are rude & aggressive. I had a bad experience two days ago with some angry old guy (maybe 55/60) shouting in my face "you c*nt" and various other horrid stuff. For the first time in my life I remained calm, spoke back to him as politely as I could and didn't allow the situation to escalate to a two way shouting match or worse a physical altercation. On a side note I've noticed that when in a bad state of mind I seem to attract this kind of thing & I kinda knew on setting off out that day that something was going to happen - does anyone else get that?

 

[so tired or manic]

I grew up around aggressive people in a way. so sitting calmly made me a boring target and they always went to someone else. mind you it was mental hospitals.

but I've had to let everything and basically everyone go for various reasons that mostly are based around PTSD or being trans. with transgender the people who used to be in your life usually refuse to switch how they want to approach you and the constant reminders that I'm in their opinion not me aren't worth sticking around for.

now it's just family I live with and I will be so happy if I can find a way to move out and never talk to them again.

the friends I had I miss at times, but feel more at peace then when they were around so that made it worth it for me to cut off contact.

the only fights I have now I'm guaranteed to lose because I'm not seen as a human worthy of an opinion. it's easiest to try to keep quiet.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I only pick fights with people smaller than me.
Seriously...

The Internet Classics Archive | The Art of War by Sun Tzu

The Art of War by Sun Tzu, part of the Internet Classics Archive

classics.mit.edu

 

[Pryras]

I've tried fighting back despite knowing I wasn't going to get through to the person, which I was aware of but when you're hurting you sometimes have a glimmer of hope.

For me, it depends on how important something is and if the energy i put in will be worth it if I do get through or "win the fight" Nowadays I don't have the energy and I realize that it usually won't make a different if I do share my side or not.