coolgal82
she/her, terminally silly :3
- Sep 10, 2024
- 438
I'm so fucking tired of it, every time i think about my mental health i have a 50 percent chance to go into the self doubt spiral of "is this right though? am i interpreting these things right? am i exaggerating them? am i misunderstanding? did i even have these issues before recently? am i just looking for attention and validation? am i subconsciously faking them without noticing? is anything in my head real? who am i? is this thinking even real? am i only doubting myself because i saw someone say once that doubting it is evidence of it and i want to make it seem more real subconsciously?"
i cant feel/do anything without like later questioning it, even if i dont at the time. I also can't like not do anything because then im like "hmm i havent done this in this amount of time is it fake?" i cant see anyone else with worse or different issues to me without comparing myself like "hmm mine isnt like that am i faking?" and i cant see anyone with similar issues cus then im like "hmm do i really think that or am i just copying them?" i cant do fucking anything without my brain spinning it to doubt me in some way.
the worst bit is i have some moments where i have no doubt and can be really objective but then like it always goes and then i doubt whatever i said/thought in that mindset even if i was certain of it then. i hate it. i wish i could like idfk. i dont even know how to describe this i just wish i could accurately like percieve/understand myself without doubting it it's like trying to look at something through like frosted glass idk. i dont get it. i hate it. how do i stop this. is there like something i can take or do? i wish i could like let someone else look in my brain and make sense of it for me.
i cant feel/do anything without like later questioning it, even if i dont at the time. I also can't like not do anything because then im like "hmm i havent done this in this amount of time is it fake?" i cant see anyone else with worse or different issues to me without comparing myself like "hmm mine isnt like that am i faking?" and i cant see anyone with similar issues cus then im like "hmm do i really think that or am i just copying them?" i cant do fucking anything without my brain spinning it to doubt me in some way.
the worst bit is i have some moments where i have no doubt and can be really objective but then like it always goes and then i doubt whatever i said/thought in that mindset even if i was certain of it then. i hate it. i wish i could like idfk. i dont even know how to describe this i just wish i could accurately like percieve/understand myself without doubting it it's like trying to look at something through like frosted glass idk. i dont get it. i hate it. how do i stop this. is there like something i can take or do? i wish i could like let someone else look in my brain and make sense of it for me.