How Do You Survive Pre-CTB Period? (Can't CTB B/C of My Cat & Logistics)

[Sweet Chainsaw]

I'm so ready to exit, but I can't due to external factors:

1. I have to take care of my cat. She is quite old now, but it could be at least another year before she goes. God, I hate even thinking about her exit.
2. My CTB logistics is a nightmare. I'm in downtown Tokyo and the only option I have is to go out far into the mountains and hang myself in the forest.

Damn, I wish I had a gun or nembutal. US folks don't know how blessed they are to have access to the firearms.
I even fantasize having a big red button I can smash to end my life or be reborn into an isekai adventure.

I'm doing self-help exercises and practicing music (in my mind because I don't have instruments) to kill time, but I've been going insane with the burning desire to just end it all.

Do you have external factors holding you back?
If so, how are you surviving the transition?

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I also have a lot of external factors holding me back right now (waiting for things to arrive, family issues, wanting to gather some money for my dad before I go, etc). Honestly, I've just tried to invest myself in fictional media the best I can. I've been playing a lot of the video games I wanted to try before I go, and watching some movies and tv as well. I've also been working on cleaning up my place a bit too just so my family has a bit less work to do.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to wait for my Dad to go frst. To be honest, I don't really know how I'm holding on. Sometimes it feels unbearable. The worst of it is not knowing how long I will have to do it for.

I have to work to earn money. I work from home though. So- I tend to try and put stuff on in the background- music, films, pod casts and, just try and get lost in what I'm doing. This place helps so much too- to get some social interaction where I can be honest about how I'm feeling.

There's a possibility work could delay things too. It depends where I am in a project. It will depend on whether I still have a strong work ethic when I finally know I'm free to leave.

I'm sorry for your situation. This feeling of being in limbo is awful.