You're in a really tough place right now, and breaking out of that cycle can feel exhausting and hopeless at times. But just being here, acknowledging your feelings, and sharing them is a step forward. That's an important and courageous thing.
Breaking free from these thoughts isn't easy, but the first step might be not letting your emotions and thoughts take control. You mentioned wanting to do things but struggling to get started, which can be a sign of feeling stuck. To cope with that, starting with something small might help, like going outside for a bit or trying something new. Even a small action can help ease the tension a little.
Even when you're feeling okay, there are still difficult moments. So instead of putting pressure on yourself with "I have to do this," try thinking "maybe I'll just try for a bit." It's important to remember that you don't need to prove anything to anyone or force yourself into a perfect version of what you should be. These feelings are temporary, and even tiny steps can make a difference.
You might want to consider talking to a professional or someone you trust about what you're going through. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to about these thoughts can bring some relief.
Remember, things may not always feel "better," but there are people out there who can help. There's always an option, even when it feels hard. Taking that first step can make all the difference.
