How Has Sanctioned Suicide Changed Your Mind?

[timechained]

I am curious to see how sanctioned suicide changed your mind from CTB.

I find it poetic that in my last days I found sanctioned suicide. I finally found my community of people who see and describe the world for what it is - an isolated, revolving, place where the further one elevates/descends they recognise existence has no real meaning and that choosing to not be a part of it should be an accepted option just as choosing to create is an accepted option.

For me, I am too far gone, I am just so over existence but I can't help wish if only I had discovered/been recommended this place years ago I might not be where I am at now.

 

[LittleMagician]

I am curious to see how sanctioned suicide changed your mind from CTB.

I find it poetic that in my last days I found sanctioned suicide. I finally found my community of people who see and describe the world for what it is - an isolated, revolving, place where the further one elevates/descends they recognise existence has no real meaning and that choosing to not be a part of it should be an accepted option just as choosing to create is an accepted option.

For me, I am too far gone, I am just so over existence but I can't help wish if only I had discovered/been recommended this place years ago I might not be where I am at now.

It is definitely a blessing to have found this space

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

it did. it may still.
but funilly enough it's those outside this site who have been the most encouraging (unintentionally) to my ctb

 

[LigottiIsRight]

I was already pro-choice and convinced of the lack of intrinsic value of life long before joining the site, so I don't think any of my views had changed since I'm here. In any case, they'd been reinforced.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It hasn't changed my mind. I had the same views before I joined. It's more a source of comfort to me while I wait for my last remaining loved one to pass so that my suicide won't hurt them. It's given me more of a practical idea about methods but, before the pro-lifers start jumping up and down- I was also aware of those methods before I came here. It's perhaps strengthened my antinatilist views but, they were also well established before.

So, nothing much has changed. I just feel less like I'm having to go through this entirely alone. I'm so grateful to this community and our mods.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I found it at a time when I really wanted nothing more than to opt out, it was such a happy day. My mind has not been changed since, and I feel like I've grown as a person, learning from shared experiences and perspectives. Even though we are from all walks of life, it's comforting to know that in the end, we share very much the same outlook and have a common goal in mind.

 

[Stan Swiftie]

I am curious to see how sanctioned suicide changed your mind from CTB.

I find it poetic that in my last days I found sanctioned suicide. I finally found my community of people who see and describe the world for what it is - an isolated, revolving, place where the further one elevates/descends they recognise existence has no real meaning and that choosing to not be a part of it should be an accepted option just as choosing to create is an accepted option.

For me, I am too far gone, I am just so over existence but I can't help wish if only I had discovered/been recommended this place years ago I might not be where I am at now.

I came here to find a better method than getting splattered by a fucking train, but this site has NOT done shit for me. Train splatter is how I'll go out.
Fuck SaSu!

 

[Seered Doom]

I am curious to see how sanctioned suicide changed your mind from CTB.

I find it poetic that in my last days I found sanctioned suicide. I finally found my community of people who see and describe the world for what it is - an isolated, revolving, place where the further one elevates/descends they recognise existence has no real meaning and that choosing to not be a part of it should be an accepted option just as choosing to create is an accepted option.

For me, I am too far gone, I am just so over existence but I can't help wish if only I had discovered/been recommended this place years ago I might not be where I am at now.

This community here is a lot more welcoming and not so sanctimonious on other issues like communities have been in prior. Like it here, very comforting.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I came here to find a better method than getting splattered by a fucking train, but this site has NOT done shit for me. Train splatter is how I'll go out.
Fuck SaSu!

That's a pretty harsh view. I'm sorry you feel that way and that you're not finding any alternatives that better fit your needs, although I can't see how that's SaSu's fault. Every possible method of ctb is discussed here openly and thoroughly, but even more importantly, honestly. From hanging and inert gas, to SN and CO aphyxiation. There are a plethora of methods discussed here. Not every method is right for every person, and some, unfortunately, are out of reach for many people due to costs, constraints of what may be available in one's own locale, government interference, etc. I hardly see how any of that is SaSu's fault.

 

[LigottiIsRight]

Well, I'm a very harsh person!
Where are all these methods?
How do I get what I need to pull them off?
I have money!
That's not a problem!
I just want W/E TF pills I can take to die in my fucking sleep!
That's ALL I want!
That's ALL I ever wanted!
This site doesn't provide me with shit!
I gotta go looking for it in hidden forums or some shit.
I hope this worthless site gets shut down.
It's no fucking help to me!
And I could give a shit less if it helps anyone else.

What the fuck were you expecting exactly? That someone here handed to you a shot of Nembutal the very first day you joined? Damn

 

[hang in there]

Well, I'm a very harsh person!
Where are all these methods?
How do I get what I need to pull them off?
I have money!
That's not a problem!
I just want W/E TF pills I can take to die in my fucking sleep!
That's ALL I want!
That's ALL I ever wanted!
This site doesn't provide me with shit!
I gotta go looking for it in hidden forums or some shit.
I hope this worthless site gets shut down.
It's no fucking help to me!
And I could give a shit less if it helps anyone else.

Aww, you wanted a little button you could press to instantly, painlessly die? Yeah, get in fucking line. It doesn't exist.

 

[hang in there]

I expected a better method than to be splattered by a fucking train, asshole!

Ban me rainwillneverstop, I really don't give a shit!

Fuck you too

Well you're the one too impatient to even read the provided material instructing you how to go a little more peacefully. Really doing yourself a favor, huh?

 

[Namelesa]

It has somewhat changed my view on to not ctb cus this site has made me feel valued and belonged in where no other place could and has increased my self-esteem so its made me see a reason for me to continue life (tho at the moment I am kinda forced to still continue it as I lack access to effective methods cus of my parents restrictions.) Still its made it easier to cope with living.

I was always pro-choice before coming to this site but it has brought back some of my pro-mortalist views but I won't call myself a full one compared to what I was like in the past. I didn't even know about the terms pro-choice and pro-mortalism until I cam here so its nice to have a word for these views. This site has reinforced and strengthened my views.

 

[Namelesa]

Well, I'm a very harsh person!
Where are all these methods?
How do I get what I need to pull them off?
I have money!
That's not a problem!
I just want W/E TF pills I can take to die in my fucking sleep!
That's ALL I want!
That's ALL I ever wanted!
This site doesn't provide me with shit!
I gotta go looking for it in hidden forums or some shit.
I hope this worthless site gets shut down.
It's no fucking help to me!
And I could give a shit less if it helps anyone else.

not really the site's fault but society's and pro-lifers for restricting and limiting peaceful methods.

 

[CatLvr]

Sure you do
No one is here to help
You're all here to whine & cry about your lives
Too fucking scared to end them
Pussies!

You know there are PLENTY of ways to CTB without standing in front of a train. But I am not your mommy and it is not my job to hold your hand. There is a difference in wanting help with something and expecting to world to stop turning and someone else to solve your problem for you.

If you "have money" you can buy what you need to do what you want to do. You, me and the rest of the world all know this. It's not SaSu's "job" to cater to your every whim, dear.

I sincerely hope you find some peace, no matter what happens going forward. You sure seem like you need it.

 

[CatLvr]

Condescending bitch

Like I haven't been called worse by better.

 

[Worndown]

Well, this conversation went well.

 

[other-ghost]

Joining this site when i was on my lowest was a blessing. I found a lot of new perspective and all and its making me realize i wasn't that alone in this.

 

[CatLvr]

Well, this conversation went well.

Right?? But I did get a laugh outta it so my day is going better now!

Better?
Bitch, you ain't never in your miserable life met someone better than me.
Which is sad, because as my ex-wife once said, I am a worthless piece of shit
So wtf does that make you?

Oh look now it's a contest to see who is worse ... People like you are so damned predictable. Gotta make up your mind, dear. Flip-flopping isn't a good look.

 

[Namelesa]

can people just report the user and their posts so the discussion can go back to the original topic?

 

[CatLvr]

can people just report the user and their posts so the discussion can go back to the original topic?

Oh, Namelesa ... That's no fun. Swatting bugs is fun! That "crunch" is SO satisfying.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

Oh, Namelesa ... That's no fun. Swatting bugs is fun! That "crunch" is SO satisfying.

Not much fun for mods having to clean up, and OP having their thread derailed.

Reopening thread - please keep it on topic from here.

 

[CatLvr]

Not much fun for mods having to clean up, and OP having their thread derailed.

Reopening thread - please keep it on topic from here.

BTDT and you are right. My apologies to the OP and mods.

I came here looking for an expedient way to move on, like most of us here. "Conversations" in the threads had me considering things that really hadn't crossed my mind, specifically the thread about tying up loose ends before you go.

I still fight intrusive thoughts, and CPSTD, along with chronic pain issues, but because of SaSu and the members here, I am in a bit of a recovery. And I now how a relationship with one of my children, whom I had been estranged from for nearly 20 years. And for those things (especially getting my child back) I will be eternally grateful to the membership here.

 

[AutisticAcademic]

The sense of community and being able to talk openly about suicide has made me less suicidal.

 

[imOK]

Stumbled across here when researching methods. To be entirely frank I mostly wanted to mine search to get different viewpoints and maybe useful infirmation from people who chose my method. Learned a lot of other things. Found a fairly open community. Gave some advice.

Like so many other places online, this place also is rife with trolling and mental illness. Place doesn't even feel above internet baseline in that regard, honestly. Just with the - actually healthy - difference that there are actually less people here who pretend to be jet-setting billionaires and specialists in 32958252 different topics. I just basically realized the other day that this forum got a lot of mainstream attention lately. I wonder if it was different place before that. (When a place like a forum gets attention by the broad public, it usually is a net negative for the quality of that platform, at least until it passes over)

I wanted to share my journey up to my end. Not sure if I'll actually go through with that part, because it feels kinda meaningless. We will see.

 

[lamy's sacred sleep]

I just basically realized the other day that this forum got a lot of mainstream attention lately.

from where?

 

[CentreMid]

I am curious to see how sanctioned suicide changed your mind from CTB.

I find it poetic that in my last days I found sanctioned suicide. I finally found my community of people who see and describe the world for what it is - an isolated, revolving, place where the further one elevates/descends they recognise existence has no real meaning and that choosing to not be a part of it should be an accepted option just as choosing to create is an accepted option.

For me, I am too far gone, I am just so over existence but I can't help wish if only I had discovered/been recommended this place years ago I might not be where I am at now.

I wouldn't say it's changed my mind in terms of wanting to ctb, but it's certainly changed my perspective on certain aspects of what I should do in order to have the most peaceful exit I can possibly have.

It's given me a community of people who don't judge, gaslight or guilt trip me when I vent my frustrations, and in turn I've found myself becoming more empathetic to those struggling around me.

 

[Pale_Rider]

The thing about this place is I can finally talk about what has been eating inside of me without judgment.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I wouldn't say it's changed my mind in terms of wanting to ctb, but it's certainly changed my perspective on certain aspects of what I should do in order to have the most peaceful exit I can possibly have.

It's given me a community of people who don't judge, gaslight or guilt trip me when I vent my frustrations, and in turn I've found myself becoming more empathetic to those struggling around me.

I am in the same boat as you. But one of the differences I am considering what I want to get done before I ctb.

 

[NegevChina]

Before joining SanSui I was desperate and in panic. I was touring the city to find where I can jump from, driving to find a rail track, finding a place to hang, thinking of OD and even drowning.
After reading the resources, I now have a relatively peaceful method all ready, Im not in panic any more.
With out SanSui I'd probably have already been gone, injured, hospitalized, months ago, definitely not survived until today. I feel I'm not alone in my misery.
Probably cause less trauma to the family, and go peacefully.
I've got to know brave people, suffering from things sometimes like my own. Dealing with dilemmas similar to mine.
It hurt me when some have left this world.
I miss shattered serenity, we had so much in common. Unlike me he was very brave. Learned a lot from him.
Many members here inspire me in their knowledge and wisdom, I want to thank each and every one.