How honest should I be in my farewell letter?

[easypeasy]

I suffer from chronic pain to the point I can't work or socialise. I can't wear shoes and it's uncomfortable to walk at all. It is constant and even on maximum pain medication, it's always there. I've tried ketamine infusions for 4 weeks straight…had multiple surgeries that sadly caused permanent painful damage. My question is…do I maintain this as the reason for my departure when the truth is much more sinister?

It involves deep family betrayal involving my mother. I don't know what the right thing to do is. But I'm ready to go. I know she will play the victim after I'm gone and I won't be there to stand up for myself and I know she won't be honest.

Thoughts?

(I'm too traumatised to go into detail anymore). This has been extremely severe for 3 years, and constant for 7 years. I'm 42 with no children.

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

just stick to the physical pain story, no need to upset them any more...
or if you're gonna do it, then only hint vaguely at it.
without any direct blame,

 

[Unspoken7612]

Hey, I'm in a fairly similar boat. My mother is abusive towards me, and I would feel very satisfied sending her an email scheduled for after my death telling her exactly what I think of her.

That said, in most circumstance I think the ethical thing to do is to avoid casting blame. When we commit suicide, we are opting out of having a stake in the future. You don't get to kill yourself and also worry about your mother portraying you as a bad person after you die.

The exception is if your mother is a threat to other people. For instance, I don't know if you have any nephews or nieces, but perhaps you're worried for their safety around your mother. In that instance, you would be justified in writing to your siblings detailing what has happened to you.

 

[easypeasy]

Hey, I'm in a fairly similar boat. My mother is abusive towards me, and I would feel very satisfied sending her an email scheduled for after my death telling her exactly what I think of her.

That said, in most circumstance I think the ethical thing to do is to avoid casting blame. When we commit suicide, we are opting out of having a stake in the future. You don't get to kill yourself and also worry about your mother portraying you as a bad person after you die.

The exception is if your mother is a threat to other people. For instance, I don't know if you have any nephews or nieces, but perhaps you're worried for their safety around your mother. In that instance, you would be justified in writing to your siblings detailing what has happened to you.

Excellent advice and well worded. Thank you! I appreciate your intelligence and your reply greatly.

just stick to the physical pain story, no need to upset them any more...
or if you're gonna do it, then only hint vaguely at it.
without any direct blame,

Thank you. It makes so much sense when I see that advice written back to me