Deadinside24
Experienced
- Aug 7, 2018
- 245
Part of me actually believes I must have been a real jackass in the last life (assuming that exists). Like, I was the guy who didn't put happy meal toys in the bags for the kids... okay that part is true but that was an accident!! But I mean, I was the guy who was filthy rich, had everything and then treated everyone else like peons who were below me or some shit.
The reason why I always think of some analogy like that is that I've come so close to CTB and in fact have tried for days at a time to do it. My attempt count is probably at least 20+. But every time I sink down to the bottom, life throws me a fucking bone. It isn't enough to rise me out of the depths (although I had one such bone and screwed that up beyond belief), but it's enough to keep me scraping by. Then, out of nowhere, bone is ripped away from my clutches and my wild brain starts going into meltdown mode and starts detailing ctb plans. Once all hope is almost lost, it then throws me another bone to keep going.
So I guess what I am saying is, I feel like "God," for lack of a better term, is actually like some dude up there who is thinking to itself about how far it can push me to see if I'll CTB and then when I try, it won't let me die, hence 20+ failed attempts and then throws me a fucking bone.
Basically, FML.
The reason why I always think of some analogy like that is that I've come so close to CTB and in fact have tried for days at a time to do it. My attempt count is probably at least 20+. But every time I sink down to the bottom, life throws me a fucking bone. It isn't enough to rise me out of the depths (although I had one such bone and screwed that up beyond belief), but it's enough to keep me scraping by. Then, out of nowhere, bone is ripped away from my clutches and my wild brain starts going into meltdown mode and starts detailing ctb plans. Once all hope is almost lost, it then throws me another bone to keep going.
So I guess what I am saying is, I feel like "God," for lack of a better term, is actually like some dude up there who is thinking to itself about how far it can push me to see if I'll CTB and then when I try, it won't let me die, hence 20+ failed attempts and then throws me a fucking bone.
Basically, FML.
