How important is it for you your suicidal ideation is taken seriously?

[noname223]

I read Infinite Jest from David Foster Wallace and there is a depressed, suicidal person. This person categorizes suicidal people into groups. There are some attention seekers and some who really mean it deadly serious. I think how I described it is very simplified. But it is a good introduction,

But I think it can be decisive to take suicidal people serious. It can determine over life and death. I only talk about suicide with people who take me serious. But at the same time there are people who go nuts when you want to tell them that you are low-key suicidal. (I am not a native speaker is this the right way to use low-key?).

Many therapists have taken me very seriously. There was one staff member in a clinic though that joked I should not drink the whole bottle of antidepressants.

I am obsessed what other people think of me and I am scared people put me in the category of an attention seeker this even increased my suicidality. Which is stupid. But this is the point not to take people's suicidality serious can make them more suicidal. Instead there are narratives like the boy who screamed wolve.

Two therapists gave me up and they think I am a hopeless case that kills himself. At the same time I am not sure whether I have what it takes to kill oneself. I never attempted. I was in extreme pain but I never had any somewhat good method. I am very glad I never attempted I would have ended up with damage and fucking things up even more. But this has changed since I have SN stored under my bed.

And noone in my family ever committed suicide. However, my pain level is extremely high. If I crash the pain will be insane. I got acute suicidal some months ago and this is actually the good time period of my bipolar disorder. I think I won't survive another crash. I just have reached my limit.

In the last clinic I downplayed me trying to do partial and standing at the 7th floor of a building. I think one rational behind downplaying that is that I wanted to be taken serious. However, at the same time I did not want that they become nuts of my suicidality and panic.

What about you?

 

[Gangrel]

Not very important because it was never taken seriously and when it is i'm afraid i will get hospitalized against my will. My partner got mad at me when i said i tried to ctb so here it goes that chance of talking about that.

 

[CantDoIt]

It's not too important to me since I am serious. I think some people who want to be taken seriously would like to be helped in a way that I am simply not capable of being helped.

So I don't want to be seen as an attention seeker but I also am deadly serious at the same time. If someone doesn't take me seriously the end is the same for me.

 

[Yarani]

The problem already starts with the derogatively called "attention seekers" not being taken seriously. First, I suspect that it will be a wrong prejudice in many cases. Second, how can you not take this seriously? If you have to resort to using self-harm to seek attention, most probably something is already very, very fucking wrong. Third, even if it's not deadly intent now, if you don't address the problem seriously, it may very well become so later. I'm with you, not taking a suffering person seriously can contribute to them becoming suicidal.
It also reminds me of the stories of people who go to the ER with self harm injuries and are treated rudely and condescendingly, denied anaesthetics, given clamps instead of stitches, etc. Sometime ago someone here swallowed, I think paracetamol?, with lethal intent, and were told by a nurse that they are taking away resources from people who really need them. I don't even ..... I can understand why she said it, I can think of at least 3 reasons. That doesn't make it the right reaction though. This is wrong and should not be happening. Others constantly judge your feelings and that's not okay, because they're subjective, and so what is valid is what you say they are, and nothing else.

Personally, words about intent only escaped me once, in a moment of high distress and confusion, and lol, all it did was evoke the platitude "it's not an option" and led to the person distancing themselves for good. Such a slip up is not gonna happen again anytime soon. I never touch the subject because I don't know anyone who would be able to follow such a discussion. Before that slip up, I had withdrawn to prevent precisely that from happening, after repeated threats of them leaving me, should I ever attempt again.
I got the feeling that noone has a clue how I am really feeling. One, for example, I will bet you she would be convinced I spent the last months relaxing and feeling better and ask me if I took bubbly baths or something. To another I mentioned missing an event due to a sick leave and she automatically assumed a specific harmless thing and immediately proceeded to talk about her experiences with it. Ex-partner stated he was sure I, too, am feeling better now after the breakup. And so on. They see what they want to see, and it makes no sense to correct them.

There's still this stupid myth of "those who talk about suicide don't do it". Stupid when you see in the statistics how many have talked about it before killing themselves. Stupid because them talking about it can sometimes mean they are still open for discussing alternatives. That doesn't mean their intent is any less serious.

If you ask me, we lack respect and empathy in general. There is so much judging. We need to judge stuff, constantly, it facilitates evaluating your situation, faster thinking and reacting. But it also leads to so much mis-/non-understanding. It's human and natural and I'm sick of it.

 

[nekrofawn1]

it's not terribly important for me personally, i've been called an attention seeker or manipulative a lot throughout my life for simply speaking up. i'm very serious now that im older, as a teenager i held onto small beams of hope, wondering if life would get easier as time went on. life got exceptionally harder for me, so it doesn't make a difference if anyone takes me seriously or not.

even if they did, it's still inevitable and the outcome will be the same

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

i tell no one anything. I have a therapist and tell her nothing and never will.

I do want to write a note to the few friends and schedule them to get the email so they know how they failed me. I've been unemployed over a year and the three people I thought would reach out haven't. I'll let them know once I'm overseas that I offed myself and if they had shown up for me even ONCE in a year I would have stayed.

it's worse than the SI - to realize you're already fucking dead

 

[ijustwishtodie]

It isn't important to me at all as I don't need normies, or anybody in general, to validate my thoughts. I already know that my thoughts and reasons for being suicidal is valid and that's more than enough for me. Of course if people actually understand me and accept that I deserve death since it's better than being a wage slave, it's a nice bonus. However, I still don't need others to validate my thoughts as I know that I'm valid

 

[username12345]

I read Infinite Jest from David Foster Wallace and there is a depressed, suicidal person. This person categorizes suicidal people into groups. There are some attention seekers and some who really mean it deadly serious. I think how I described it is very simplified. But it is a good introduction,

But I think it can be decisive to take suicidal people serious. It can determine over life and death. I only talk about suicide with people who take me serious. But at the same time there are people who go nuts when you want to tell them that you are low-key suicidal. (I am not a native speaker is this the right way to use low-key?).

Many therapists have taken me very seriously. There was one staff member in a clinic though that joked I should not drink the whole bottle of antidepressants.

I am obsessed what other people think of me and I am scared people put me in the category of an attention seeker this even increased my suicidality. Which is stupid. But this is the point not to take people's suicidality serious can make them more suicidal. Instead there are narratives like the boy who screamed wolve.

Two therapists gave me up and they think I am a hopeless case that kills himself. At the same time I am not sure whether I have what it takes to kill oneself. I never attempted. I was in extreme pain but I never had any somewhat good method. I am very glad I never attempted I would have ended up with damage and fucking things up even more. But this has changed since I have SN stored under my bed.

And noone in my family ever committed suicide. However, my pain level is extremely high. If I crash the pain will be insane. I got acute suicidal some months ago and this is actually the good time period of my bipolar disorder. I think I won't survive another crash. I just have reached my limit.

In the last clinic I downplayed me trying to do partial and standing at the 7th floor of a building. I think one rational behind downplaying that is that I wanted to be taken serious. However, at the same time I did not want that they become nuts of my suicidality and panic.

What about you?

Of course, it is really important. There are ways that people can use expressing suicidal thoughts to be manipulative or abusive, but if you're genuinely just trying to escape a difficult life, bullying, and abuse, it makes sense to be suicidal. Not saying you should kill yourself but it makes sense how people can push you to feel like that is your only option. It is also somewhat abusive to disregard people needing help and listing them as attention seekers.

Whether someone is passively suicidal or actively suicidal or anything like that it doesn't decide whether you should have adequate support or not. The idea that people only need social support when they are on the verge of death is the reason why we lose people.

Also if you mean someone being *very* suicidal then it would probably make more sense saying high key. low key and high key are AAVE terms though so unless you are Black you shouldn't use them.

 

[noname223]

Of course, it is really important. There are ways that people can use expressing suicidal thoughts to be manipulative or abusive, but if you're genuinely just trying to escape a difficult life, bullying, and abuse, it makes sense to be suicidal. Not saying you should kill yourself but it makes sense how people can push you to feel like that is your only option. It is also somewhat abusive to disregard people needing help and listing them as attention seekers.

Whether someone is passively suicidal or actively suicidal or anything like that it doesn't decide whether you should have adequate support or not. The idea that people only need social support when they are on the verge of death is the reason why we lose people.

Also if you mean someone being *very* suicidal then it would probably make more sense saying high key. low key and high key are AAVE terms though so unless you are Black you shouldn't use them.

With low key I wanted to say in this context the following: I wanrted to tell him that I am low key suicidal. I did not want that he makes a big fuss about it.

 

[pyx]

sometimes i let it slip to friends that i possess high amounts of suicidal ideation. to be honest, i don't blame them for being dismissive. it's probably off-putting to enter into that kind of discussion.
but i mainly keep those feelings bottled up out of fear that i will be seen as manipulative in some way. that's why i usually joke about it, rather than expecting anything serious to come of it

 

[PinballWizard39]

I mean, it is and it isn't. I guess for me, I just have this need to be believed and taken seriously anyway (stems from childhood shit). If I'm telling someone how low I am and they indicate they don't believe me or care, it makes it worse. However, I was kinda forced into admitting my suicidality in the last few days and as much as I think they do take me seriously, they've just said it's up to me to keep myself safe. Its true, but it just makes me feel like my life isn't worth bothering over as 10/15 years ago, I would have been sectioned for much less. I guess it just goes in my favor, and if anything, it's making me want to act sooner rather than later. It's just another reminder than I, and my life, don't matter, but it's cool.

 

[username12345]

With low key I wanted to say in this context the following: I wanrted to tell him that I am low key suicidal. I did not want that he makes a big fuss about it.

Oh okay well yeah only Black people are supposed to use the phrase

 

[anon554]

I told my sister and never again will I mention it seriously to someone. All in all I think I'm at least very seriously in danger of committing. I don't cut or anything because I don't want to be caught.

 

[Emeralds]

It's not important to me if people would believe me or not. It wouldn't change anything. The important thing is that I know how serious my intentions are. No one else can know that.I don't talk about being suicidal irl. Nothing good would come of it. If I told someone and they took me seriously, they would try to stop me.

 

[wCvML2]

Whenever my suicidal ideation is taken seriously, the first thing on the agenda is restricting methods even if my plans are far into the future and are not immediate or even if I'm still indecisive, so I'd rather it not be taken seriously. But regarding the other problems that are causing the ideation directly or indirectly, it's more important for me that they are taken seriously than the result of them which is the suicidal ideation. I don't think my suicidal ideation is a problem in it of itself, but only a symptom.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

As someone who's been on both sides of the fence (attention seeking and actually wanting to die), the person with legitimate suicidal intent will almost certainly not care if someone takes them seriously.

 

[sugarb]

I don't care in the slightest, but I find it hard to imagine anyone would say I'm an attention seeker. I have not tipped my hand IRL in any way whatsoever. Outside of this website only two people know- the first I told because they told me they were, too, and the second I told because the first would've told them.

As for if I'm serious- I've been planning, testing, and researching for months. Tried to tie a noose with a necktie and later an extension cord, determined both to be bad plans. I haven't seriously attempted because I'm not stupid or desperate enough to do so when it's not a sure thing. That doesn't detract from my seriousness in the eyes of anyone but morons

 

[Forever Sleep]

I prefer it when how unhappy I feel is taken seriously. I don't much enjoy that being belittled or mocked. I haven't really discussed suicide in a long time with people and, never with my family though.

It's weird in a way. I've gotten close at times and I feel as if my Dad has stopped me short in the conversation because he simply can't hear it. It obviously really concerned him to hear things like- 'There's nothing I really want out of life now.' Really though- the fact that it really troubled him then, really troubled me. And it's pointless, because there's nothing he can do. So, it's probably better that some people don't take it too seriously. Like- it's not nice for us because it means we don't really get the support that might actually help us but then, what could they realistically do anyway?

 

[Jarni]

it doesn't matter at all and I don't want to talk about it anyway. Realistic, intelligent and adequate people are able to understand things about this world by themselves. With my best friend we can easily discuss the fact that old age is shit and there is too big a risk of Alzheimer's, and that euthanasia should be used before, that old age is shit especially for women because at 60 guys go out with women around 40 and for women it is not the case, etc etc... My best friend loves life very much and is very intelligent, not suicidal at all and has an extremely full life of exciting things. But she is just an adequate person.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

i tell no one anything. I have a therapist and tell her nothing and never will.

I do want to write a note to the few friends and schedule them to get the email so they know how they failed me. I've been unemployed over a year and the three people I thought would reach out haven't. I'll let them know once I'm overseas that I offed myself and if they had shown up for me even ONCE in a year I would have stayed.

it's worse than the SI - to realize you're already fucking dead

I can def relate to this. It has become pointless let alone potentially dangerous to tell anyone anything in regards to how I really feel a lot of the time. The few long term people I thought I had moved on.

In short, in a perfect world, yes it should be taken seriously, but the world should exist in a way that doesn't drive people to these choices in the first place and history shows us it never will.

 

[wren-briar]

Whenever my suicidal ideation is taken seriously, the first thing on the agenda is restricting methods even if my plans are far into the future and are not immediate or even if I'm still indecisive, so I'd rather it not be taken seriously. But regarding the other problems that are causing the ideation directly or indirectly, it's more important for me that they are taken seriously than the result of them which is the suicidal ideation. I don't think my suicidal ideation is a problem in it of itself, but only a symptom.

For me, I've seen suicide as the ultimate solution.

When something was done to me by a supposed MH "provider" that caused my idiation to spike. I knew that if anything even remotely similar was done to me again, I would -without exception- kill myself as a direct and explicit response. In an attempt to avoid this, i.e. in an attempt to NOT be made suicidal, I reached out to a former therapist. Less than two weeks later, she denied me unbiased medical care that I sought, and did to me the very things that I told her would -without exception MAKE me actively suicidal. I finally tried a month ago today, and obviously failed, but am counting down the days until I try again.

If those sanctimonious pricks had actually wanted to keep me alive, they needed to understand the distinction between "if I am made to experience X, I will kill myself" (I.e. I'm NOT actively suicidal, but X will MAKE me actively suicidal) and actually being actively suicidal and instead of making my repeated request for exclusively unbiased medical care about something it wasn't, they needed to actually provide the help that I was explicitely requesting (i.e. fix the problem that was making life problematic, instead of denying me the help that I was actively seeking and instead subjecting me to unasked for, unwanted, unneeded, and exclusively suicide-inducing trauma).

By denying me the unbiased medical care that I sought, and should have gotten, they made life significantly harder than it should have been.

By treating me as an actively suicidal person when I wasn't, (and after I had explicitly sought help to avoid being made actively suicidial) their actions made me actively suicidal.

 

[Reflection]

I used to think that "attention seeking" inherently means that the person is just being manipulative and doesnt really mean what they say, that they just derive some sick pleasure from making people worry about them...Until I experienced what it feels like to scream your heart out because you don't wanna die yet get ignored or laughed at or whatever...overtime this just makes you give up on trying to be heard and then you're like fuck it, CTB is the only way out...of course there are still people who cry wolf, but sadly everyone jumps to that conclusion first instead of taking things seriously.