How is everyone?

[PatKat]

How is everyone?

I am waiting to see doctors, benefits started, backpay received, insurance received. Trying to go out of my room it isnt working well so far.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

in not good at all, i'm trying to fight and i still will do it for a long time even though i know it's wasted time

 

[mathieu]

I'm feeling very fatigued today. Just woke up from another nap.

 

[Icarus]

Pretending to be ok

 

[woxihuanni]

Trying to force myself to groom and maybe do some work. Ahah.

I hate having negative motivation, as in, if I don't it will be worse, not if I do it something will necessarily come of it.

 

[Bagger]

I'm seriously on the edge. Fuck. I have everything ready. SN way. But my SI is so strong now like never before, just everything holding me back! Wind, rain outside, lighted cigarette, even smell of tea. My mom will be devastated if i do it. But i have enough... I really want help, i really want a call from best friend, i really want to make things better with him, i don't even know WHAT i do to him to treat me like a fucking stranger, this is someone i know by 28 years. im so fucking lost. I want something positive in my life, i want to get better and i still have HOPE, but when everything is falling apart at ONCE. I still want to live!! But everything is so hopeless, despair and regets 24/7 is my world for last months. How long can i endure and postpone this. Recovery TOTALLY not worked for me!!!! Its like fucking trap, dark place without any exit, i can't stand my own thoughts, i NEED to escape in some way and i CANT. Very sorry for emotional post but im in such state that i barely see the room by my tears. if tere is some god please for fuck sake do something good for me today

 

[PatKat]

Finding motivation is really hard I agree. Getting out of bed seems to be a huge task for me. I am gonna try to shower today its been a few weeks. I am not happy today or depressed i am just kinda here.

 

[mynameispaige]

I'm struggling. A year ago on September 14th I decided I wouldn't live another year. Now here I am trying to recover but I'm getting flooded with emotions and memories of everything that made me want to end my life to being with. But if I can make it past September 14th I'll feel one step forward. I can do this! Hopefully.. lol

 

[PatKat]

I'm struggling. A year ago on September 14th I decided I wouldn't live another year. Now here I am trying to recover but I'm getting flooded with emotions and memories of everything that made me want to end my life to being with. But if I can make it past September 14th I'll feel one step forward. I can do this! Hopefully.. lol

I wish you luck in recovery it is the hardest thing i have tried in ny entire life... i try to stay positive, but negative always comes back. I feel "haunted"...

 

[Squiddy]

Feeling a bit sleepy and my brain fog is bad as usual

 

[cherub]

I feel like trash as per usual. Hope the rest of your day goes well though.

 

[PatKat]

What kind if stuff do you enjoy, or did you enjoy in your life? Im currently writing all this stuff down so i can try to help myself more. I think it will be easier getting back into something i have already loved than something new.

 

[Readytogo227]

I'm pretending to be OK. I still think of ctb on a daily basis, but I don't have the drive to get what I need to do it anymore.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Pretty bad to put it mildly.

 

[Jen0804]

I'm seriously on the edge. Fuck. I have everything ready. SN way. But my SI is so strong now like never before, just everything holding me back! Wind, rain outside, lighted cigarette, even smell of tea. My mom will be devastated if i do it. But i have enough... I really want help, i really want a call from best friend, i really want to make things better with him, i don't even know WHAT i do to him to treat me like a fucking stranger, this is someone i know by 28 years. im so fucking lost. I want something positive in my life, i want to get better and i still have HOPE, but when everything is falling apart at ONCE. I still want to live!! But everything is so hopeless, despair and regets 24/7 is my world for last months. How long can i endure and postpone this. Recovery TOTALLY not worked for me!!!! Its like fucking trap, dark place without any exit, i can't stand my own thoughts, i NEED to escape in some way and i CANT. Very sorry for emotional post but im in such state that i barely see the room by my tears. if tere is some god please for fuck sake do something good for me today

This ^^^^^^^

 

[mathieu]

Bored, lonely. I live alone so that's usually the case.

 

[okaoki]

feels tired , nothing much i could do , eat <$1.5 worth of dinner , sorry for bad english

 

[ericwilkinson]

Not good. Didn't get €14 to refill my anti-psychotic meds so my bipolar symptoms are coming back. It sucks... I'm really pushed to the edge.

 

[mathieu]

Bored. I wanted to visit my parents and their new puppy but I don't have money for petrol. I hate being shut up in my house alone.

 

[tomz323]

Actually I think I'm getting better, slowly. Made many mistakes this year, but I've learnt from them. Thanks for asking OP, how are you?

 

[woxihuanni]

Worrying the little bit of chicken I had might have been off. Last thing I need is food poisoning right now.

 

[stellabelle]

Glad you got your back pay and such.

I'm exhausted because I tossed and turned all night. Have an appointment later today and I always feel rough for a while afterwards. Outta weed and have a lot of running around to do/accomplish. I'll survive somehow.

 

[sad_frog]

IM FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT! I can't control myself! I want to call for help but I am sick of being so dependent on others. I wish I could will myself to death

 

[Luchs]

I actually feel quite good! A few days ago I met with three of my friends, got shitfaced and then slept over. It was really fun, it is moments like this that make me want to go on.

 

[woxihuanni]

Done as done can be. Heart skipping beats because it knows soon it won't beat. Head growing dizzy with fear.

And a giant black hole in me. They put the first captured picture of a black hole for a wallpaper, replacing A's cat (they are a dog person like me) on my birthday. Once I'm dead I won't remember any of this.