How live after

[RockyRockman]

I wouldn't say I am recovered by any means but in recent months the light at the end of the tunnel almost seems visible now. Yet, I have known depression and suicide for as long as I can remember. I find it hard and almost impossible to see a way to live without suicidal thoughts. I feel like it is almost harder to live without them at this point. It has been such a big part of my life it's scary to think of a life without it at all if that's possible. I almost find comfort in my status quo yet want to escape the pain. Does anyone else feel the same way?

 

[terra.nuvo]

Yes. I have suffered from suicidal thoughts for a while now and its to the point where I feel like they are just a part of me. I don't know who I'd be without them. But I still hope one day that I find a way to lose them for good. Although it seems scary, I feel like i'd be better without them and be able to focus on making something of my life. They take up so much energy. Even though they've kind of become a comfort for me, I realize that they are a burden.

It's good to hear that you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope someday I am also able to.

 

[RockyRockman]

Thank you, and best of luck

 

[cherrylace]

i like to repeat to myself "i can be calm and upset at the same time" to help me calm down when I'm upset
it reminds me two things can be true at the same time even when i don't want to try, it can still occur

 

[RockyRockman]

Yes. I have suffered from suicidal thoughts for a while now and its to the point where I feel like they are just a part of me. I don't know who I'd be without them. But I still hope one day that I find a way to lose them for good. Although it seems scary, I feel like i'd be better without them and be able to focus on making something of my life. They take up so much energy. Even though they've kind of become a comfort for me, I realize that they are a burden.

It's good to hear that you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope someday I am also able to.

I agree, I find suicidal to be almost all consuming both physically and mentally. Like a heavy weight I always carry on my shoulders. I hope on day this weight is lifted from you my friend