Discussion How long have you suffered for?

[DarknessWave]

I've suffered ever since I was 12 im 18 now im in so much pain..

 

[Namelesa]

I have suffered greatly since the age of 7/8 in year 3 of school but started to really think of suicide since age 12/13 in year 8. School was torturous for me but even after that life finds new things to fluff my mental wellbeing up. I am 19 now.

 

[dingokettle3531]

Been suffering from physical issues since birth, I didn't start considering suicide until 12 though

 

[Arrival03]

For as long as I can remember, started considering suicide when I was 11/12.

 

[Rose Mine]

I've been suffering since I was 12 too. I'm 20 now and close to 21. It definitely got worse over time with me being able to have clearer thoughts surrounding suicide as I got older

 

[BirdNamedRose]

Currently 27 but couldn't have been older then 10 the first time i stuck my dads 44 in my mouth and wanted to ctb, been a real fucked up ride since day 1. Wondering when i'll finally run out of strength. If its not one thing its something else

 

[askmeifimatree]

I started considering suicide since I was 17. It feels as the only right way for me to go. It's been a long time coming.

 

[hereornot]

Since my 7yo...

 

[SVEN]

My first attempt was around 20 years ago, stopped from jumping by an off duty cop.

 

[outrider567]

Three years, 2 months

 

[ForeverCaHa]

15 years, things have ramped up a lot in the past 2 months though

 

[Michi_Violeta]

It's been a roller coaster. My father left before I was born, lots of bullying as a kid, my father figure died when I was 12, more bullying as a teen, then finally friends and a loving relationship that lasted for almost 5 years and ended up with her leaving me for another man. Then I started a process of healing and self-improvement, I started racing, I finished my bachelor's, tried dating again, got my first job, traveled, got a scholarship, did a master's abroad. That took 7 years. I met someone else, I was happy for a year or so, and then she ended up leaving me for another man.

I'm 32 now. The repetition of trauma doesn't make it any easier, quite the contrary: it reopens the wound and makes it deeper. She left me in July. I've been a wreck ever since. I've thought about suicide before, but the idea never lasted enough for me to actually plan something. Now I have. I researched methods, I've bought the pills, SN is supposed to arrive today. I don't want to die, I'm scared, but I can't go on like this. I'm broken and I don't want to move on, to keep fighting. This one was the last blow I could take.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have suffered in this cruel, torturous existence for a very long time and no matter what I'll always see it as so dreadful to exist, to me existence really does feel like the most terrible tragic mistake that just causes all this harm and suffering until all is finally forgotten in non-existence anyway and I'd just never wish for any of this rather all I hope for is some peace, as long as I exist I truly will just hope and wish to not exist. For me non-existence truly is the only relief and is all that can bring me any peace, existing to me is only suffering and more than anything I wish I never suffered, I suffer just from being conscious in this existence I never would had wished for and never would had chosen, I'd always prefer to not exist than be burdened with this existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel just hoping and waiting to not exist anyway.

 

[katara]

Similar age here, around 11. I wanted to move out around that age too because i felt like nobody cared about me.