How many of you do not feel a relief from the idea of CTB but it's your only option?

[Coal54321]

I really really do not want to die but there is nothing I can do. I would do anything to make this stop. It's not a relief for me it's just what has to happen if my life doesn't change very very soon.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I feel the same, I want it to get better but in reality I know it's not. It's been the same for so many years

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

My suicide is my only relief I want to die. I want to want to die. For What objective reason do I have to live another minute?

Any stranger prolifer say I can't kill myself . Ok then u do my job, also chores , to do list, Start with cleaning the apartment decluttering and taking out the trash groceries, washing clothes dishes .... Boggles my mind everyone is ok with all this hard work every day for no reason but to exist in danger of extreme torture

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I also don't want to die but the circumstances may require it.

Yet, I see relief in death bc death is the only way to be relieved from all suffering, pain and unsolvable problems in this life.

It's probably only SI - we won't miss out on anything bc we can't take anything with us onto the other side - the world just goes on spinning with or without us.

 

[attheend13]

I also don't want to die but the circumstances may require it.

Yet, I see relief in death bc death is the only way to be relieved from all suffering, pain and unsolvable problems in this life.

It's probably only SI - we won't miss out on anything bc we can't take anything with us onto the other side - the world just goes on spinning with or without us.

Relief from the never ending pain would be welcome but my fear is leaving my daughters in pain and no mother to comfort them.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Relief from the never ending pain would be welcome but my fear is leaving my daughters in pain and no mother to comfort them.

That is the ever-unsolvable problem. Either we are suffering endlessly for others or others most likely suffer for a limited amount of time and get over it when they realize that there was no other option for us to be relieved.

I understand you - but what's the solution to this problem? I'm also affected by this fact bc there would be people left behind who love me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Death, I'm pretty much ok with I think. I'm tired of putting the effort in to improve or even just sustain my ridiculous life. Suicide though? No- I'm not looking forward to that but it's going to become an 'as needs must' situation.

So- passive ideation for me is a source of relief. One day, all this will be over. Active ideation is stressful. I'm going to have to do it. Will it work? How painful and frightening will it be?

 

[Valhala]

There are always other options, but the question is how meaningful and expedient they are. Generally, there is a simple choice, choose the lesser of two evils.

 

[HopeToStay]

Death, I'm pretty much ok with I think. I'm tired of putting the effort in to improve or even just sustain my ridiculous life. Suicide though? No- I'm not looking forward to that but it's going to become an 'as needs must' situation.

So- passive ideation for me is a source of relief. One day, all this will be over. Active ideation is stressful. I'm going to have to do it. Will it work? How painful and frightening will it be?

Yes well put. I feel the same.

 

[mangotango0249]

Probably for about a decade, I wanted things to get better. I tried therapies, medicines, making friends, doing things i love etc. But It never got better. Whenever things go better, they would come back worse the next time when Im weak. It's been about 5 months since I declared that Im done, Ive been planning my method meticulously and honestly, now a week away from ending it I feel pretty relived. I feel like Im finally being able to do things I always wanted to do without anxiety and fear because I know nothing matters now. Its too late but as much as my surivial instinct tries to freak me out, I am at peace. Thank Fucking God.