N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,426
I think on Monday I will crash from my most recent love delusion. And I am simply not able to stomach more of that. I consider to lie to all of them. Even my closest friends about a new order of SN. I am in a mixed manic depressive episodes and this life is hell.
When I am around people I always pretend to be in a good mood. The manic symptoms help to act. I could imagine the next 6 months are the my last on earth. I am tired. I am very tired. It could happen faster. But it also could happen later. I had a horrendous trip to a clinic for acute suicidal people recently. I don't want to go there again. I am desperate. The walls are closing in. Suicide has become even harder. The desperation grows.
When I am around people I always pretend to be in a good mood. The manic symptoms help to act. I could imagine the next 6 months are the my last on earth. I am tired. I am very tired. It could happen faster. But it also could happen later. I had a horrendous trip to a clinic for acute suicidal people recently. I don't want to go there again. I am desperate. The walls are closing in. Suicide has become even harder. The desperation grows.