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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
I know this is kinda funny, but I don't want to ctb in a hotel or at home. I want to literally be on a bus.

The local bus has always been my go-to place for thinking/meditation, and I want to get on the #7, head to the back, and kick the bucket while looking out the window.

To other passengers, will it look like I've simply fallen asleep? Or will I thrash?

How easily can I get away with taking SN in public?
 
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onlyformyself

Member
Mar 18, 2025
58
U will be saved , there is agonal breathing with can be loud
 
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Sbetto

Sbetto

√\____/√\___/√\__/√\_/__________Chill guy
Dec 6, 2024
125
After taking SN, you might start sweating and vomiting as your body tries to expel the poison; this could get you kicked off the bus. About an hour later, you may pass out and start having agonal breaths, similar to snoring. After those breaths, death can still occur 4–6 hours after ingesting SN.
Moral of the story: CTB on a bus is the dumbest place to do it with SN.
 
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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
After taking SN, you might start sweating and vomiting as your body tries to expel the poison; this could get you kicked off the bus. About an hour later, you may pass out and start having agonal breaths, similar to snoring. After those breaths, death can still occur 4–6 hours after ingesting SN.
Moral of the story: CTB on a bus is the dumbest place to do it with SN.
Thank you for your help.

That's too bad, I can't do it at home, too many roommates.

i suppose I could go to a park and look like I am taking a nap.
 
deadbidaylight

deadbidaylight

And the sun will set for you
Feb 27, 2025
382
I wouldn't do it in public. It's not like you just fall asleep. There are many stages of SN before actually dying. I wouldn't want to traumatize anyone else around. That's not fair. And surely you will be saved as soon as someone notices something is wrong. You're going to want privacy for SN for at least a few hours.
 
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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
I wouldn't do it in public. It's not like you just fall asleep. There are many stages of SN before actually dying. I wouldn't want to traumatize anyone else around. That's not fair. And surely you will be saved as soon as someone notices something is wrong. You're going to want privacy for SN for at least a few hours.
Thank you for your help.

Yeah, I am stuck. I have no place to go to be alone to die.
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,477
Agreed with deadbidaylight, don't do it in public unless you want to be saved. Plus it traumatizes others. You mentioned the woods so that's likely your best option, especially if you don't want a motel or hotel. It can take over an hour to pass from SN. You will likely lose consciousness in 20-30 minutes post-ingestion. If you did it in public, you would likely seek out help due to SI. Typically, your heart rate increases (tachycardia), you begin to feel dizzy and nauseous as you experience hypoxia and your body trying to purge the SN.

SN is also fairly easily treatable, as I believe they just intravenously administer methylene blue.

I'm sorry that you're struggling though, it can be hard to find the right place to CTB, especially with roommates, and I can't blame you for seeking the bus. I would love to CTB in a national park, as that's my zen place but it's just not viable. I might traumatize somebody or be saved, depending on my method. I also can't CTB at home because my girlfriend would find me and that would be traumatizing to her.

I get what it feels like to be stuck in a hard place like that :(
 
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sweetcreep

sweetcreep

reincarnating as a worm
Jul 21, 2024
141
doing it outside is too risky. someone could find you and end up stopping the process, the chances of surviving seem pretty high to me. what are your reasons for not wanting to do it at a hotel? that's if you don't mind sharing of course.
 
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Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
Agreed with deadbidaylight, don't do it in public unless you want to be saved. Plus it traumatizes others. You mentioned the woods so that's likely your best option, especially if you don't want a motel or hotel. It can take over an hour to pass from SN. You will likely lose consciousness in 20-30 minutes post-ingestion. If you did it in public, you would likely seek out help due to SI. Typically, your heart rate increases (tachycardia), you begin to feel dizzy and nauseous as you experience hypoxia and your body trying to purge the SN.

SN is also fairly easily treatable, as I believe they just intravenously administer methylene blue.

I'm sorry that you're struggling though, it can be hard to find the right place to CTB, especially with roommates, and I can't blame you for seeking the bus. I would love to CTB in a national park, as that's my zen place but it's just not viable. I might traumatize somebody or be saved, depending on my method. I also can't CTB at home because my girlfriend would find me and that would be traumatizing to her.

I get what it feels like to be stuck in a hard place like that :(
I
doing it outside is too risky. someone could find you and end up stopping the process, the chances of surviving seem pretty high to me. what are your reasons for not wanting to do it at a hotel? that's if you don't mind sharing of course.
My parole officer isn't fond of me getting a hotel room, and I play by the rules with the police.

My roommates are others at the halfway house. They're assholes and somebody is always home.

I need an hour alone somewhere, trust me, easier said than done.
 
T

ThatStateOfMind

Enlightened
Nov 13, 2021
1,477
I

My parole officer isn't fond of me getting a hotel room, and I play by the rules with the police.

My roommates are others at the halfway house. They're assholes and somebody is always home.

I need an hour alone somewhere, trust me, easier said than done.
Ah that makes a bit more sense. I wouldn't want to mess around either if I were on parole, and living in a halfway house. I don't know how to help as I've never been in a situation like that, but hopefully someone can give you some solid advice.
 
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
Ah that makes a bit more sense. I wouldn't want to mess around either if I were on parole, and living in a halfway house. I don't know how to help as I've never been in a situation like that, but hopefully someone can give you some solid advice.
I'm in the US, but as a felon, I cannot get a gun.

I guess I could take it on a nature trail somewhere.

I'm afraid I am going to have to risk being found. I don't know why this would traumatize anyone...
 
D

daysfeel

Member
Oct 6, 2023
28
SN is poison. You'll definitely feel yourself dying, its not peaceful but it's not as agonizing as suffocating or failing a tall jump.
 
opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Eating Disordered Junkie
Jun 2, 2024
1,874
I hear you re parole and halfway house OP. maybe remote single stall bathroom?? like the ones in parks etc. just spitballing.


a car?

if i happen to think of anything else i'll drop it. sending hugs to you op.
 
Last edited:
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
SN is poison. You'll definitely feel yourself dying, its not peaceful but it's not as agonizing as suffocating or failing a tall jump.
If I vomit then make my way to bed, perhaps I could just appear ill to my housemates.

1. Take SN
2. Vomit
3. Go to bed

I guess I can just do it at home...
 
grapevoid

grapevoid

Mage
Jan 30, 2025
505
If I vomit then make my way to bed, perhaps I could just appear ill to my housemates.

1. Take SN
2. Vomit
3. Go to bed

I guess I can just do it at home...
Most of these options sound like terrible places to pass. If I were personally in this situation I would go explore some walks or hikes, find one that has a good turn off you can be alone and go when it's not highly trafficked. The park behind my house has all these wooded areas that are like their own little sanctuary. I'd go somewhere like that if I couldn't pass at home. At least it would be nice and in nature- not some dirty public bathroom. That's awful- you deserve better than a bathroom stall!
 
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
I want to make sure I am not found/saved. If a bathroom stall would work, I'd use it.
 
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

Don't you listen to your heart? (Listen to it...)
Oct 26, 2019
941
I

My parole officer isn't fond of me getting a hotel room, and I play by the rules with the police.

My roommates are others at the halfway house. They're assholes and somebody is always home.

I need an hour alone somewhere, trust me, easier said than done.
If you dont mind me asking what were you in prison for? I'm in the same boat...I need to order my SN and work on getting the meds to go along with it, I just dunno how to ctb. I don't want to do a hotel room either but it's too risky to be found and saved outside. Just save money and get a motel room during the day. Checkin is usually around 3pm. You'll be dead by 7pm...
 
Last edited:
Csmith8827

Csmith8827

Don't you listen to your heart? (Listen to it...)
Oct 26, 2019
941
What did you try to forge? I made another suggestion for you. I edited my post. Dude I understand you entirely...i need to ctb as well...
 
Halfhourdays

Halfhourdays

Mage
Mar 14, 2025
569
What did you try to forge?
I passed a fake bill -- I used fake money and got caught.

So I now live in a sober living halfway house with drug tests. Can't risk something like a heroin overdose, so I am waiting for SN to arrive. Too many roommates in the halfway house for much privacy, otherwise I would have hung myself already.

Given my living situation, I have no choice but to ctb in public. Looking for a nice place to die where I won't be saved...
 
grapevoid

grapevoid

Mage
Jan 30, 2025
505
I want to make sure I am not found/saved. If a bathroom stall would work, I'd use it.
Ofc. Just pointing out there may be less… bathroom-y options for you. It makes me sad to imagine someone alone in a bathroom but I guess that's just my human instincts. You just got out of prison, I hope you are able to experience the things you want to in a space that feels free. I hope you feel free, that is all. Good luck with everything 💕
 

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