Help How to be less tired after socializing? How start liking socializing?

[przeciwwymiotne]

It's weird cuz I wanna be with people but it feels like I have a very limited capacity to socialize. I get tired and grumpy pretty quickly and even tho I wanna keep socializing my brain is just like "no, now everyone annoys you and you are going to act like a bitch". And I'm so scared because lack of social contact leads to brain deteoration and I'm scared I'll develop Altsheimers or dementia later in life.

 

[SeeminglyFine]

Depends on the people you are with, if its constantly just small talk with people you cant afford to be open and honest with then it would obviously be tiring, i find that being myself(but without revealing suicidal tendencies) around people who i know dont judge, and getting into a deeper topic for conversation is far less tiring.

 

[Lostandlooking]

This maybe has to do with your nervous system wiring. You maybe an introvert, or at least some part of you is. It sounds like a dilemma, you want to socialize but your nervous system feels like they had enough at some point. In my experience it very much depends on the people you're with. Like others have said. Some people are way more draining than others. Hope you're able to find some people that don't drain you that much. Hope you're not too scared about brain deterioration. I personally don't think that's an outcome that's certain.

 

[Regen]

I can understand that very well. I very often feel the same way. I suspect it has several reasons with me.

Firstly, I am highly sensitive and co-dependent and constantly perceive the moods of all the people around me unfiltered and ask myself inwardly how everyone is doing, what they think, what they think about me, whether they think it's stupid what I say or do, whether the other person feels good. Secondly, I'm not fundamentally interested in all people, there are some who just find people interesting in general, I tend not to. I would like to skip the small talk part and just talk about really personal things. Third, my self-esteem is low and I often think the other person thinks I'm stupid. So, in the presence of people, to permanently hear the inner critic whispering to you, you're stupid, what you're saying is boring, you're acting weird, really robs me of a lot of energy....

With two people it works, with three people it works, but groups are so exhausting and difficult for me that I avoid such situations as completely as possible. I try to meet people only alone.

Tonight I have to go to an event with lots of small talk and lots of people. I've been dreading it for days. Keep your fingers crossed that it won't be that difficult :-)

 

[Venus13]

I've always suffered this way too. For me I can only have 2-3 people max who are in my circle. I've decided to only be with people I actually deeply like. Easier said than done though. The hard part is finding them.

When I'm forced to be around people I don't vibe with for an extended amount of time I feel like I got hit by a truck by the end. When I'm around people I love and appreciate I buzz with energy. That's what I call "your people". I stretch myself thin wasting time on small talk with people who I don't feel a deep connection. I'd much rather be alone. To find your people you have to find what makes you tick though. What matters to you is the key. The fact that building annoyance in interactions is what disconnects you makes me wonder if you're truly flowing with these people. It might be something else though, you'd have to spend some time thinking about the interactions you really felt good in vs the absolutely draining experiences.