Help How to become a better person?

[cloudnone]

I'm putting this here because it's not directly related to recovery, but…

How do you become a better person?

I'm very much alone in the world, and I've realized that maybe it's my own fault. If I'm not satisfied with who I am, why would others be? Why would they want to befriend me or be in my life?

So that leads to the question- how do you improve yourself as a person? I've been trying for some time now, but every time I try, I feel like I make no progress. So… how do you do it?

 

[irememberinnocence]

I would say I'm neither a good person nor a bad person (just an OK person) but I'm gonna share some thoughts on the topic.

1. Don't try to be perfect or pretend you are perfect. I grew up in a Christian hypocritical background and if certain people had just acknowledged they were human instead of taking their sins and darkness behind closed doors, my world would have been a better place growing up. So I'm always suspicious when someone appears to be too good or moral. Try to be good, but also acknowledge you are human, not a machine.


2. Avoid major wrongdoings that would lead to suffering. Such as theft, cheating on someone, beating someone up etc. These may seem obvious but it forms part of a moral code with yourself.

3. Follow your own intuition unless you're a psychopath. As in, take space and time to listen to your own inner voice so that you can discern right and wrong in more nuanced situations. This would be your personal conscience.

4. Consider what acts of good you want to do in the world. They can be small, like buying something to donate to the food bank or bigger like supporting a friend going through a tough time.

5. Continually work on improving yourself. If you have trauma, address it in a safe space. If you are suffering from addiction, attend a recovery meeting. Journal and be creative etc so you have constructive outlet for your emotions.

 

[NasiGoreng]

Devote your heart fully to Jesus Christ.

 

[medjooled11]

@irememberinnocence gave helpful advice.

There are a myriad of ways to improve yourself.

Easier said than done, but it all begins with a routine. Gradual changes. Small habits. Every day.

For some people it helps to live out their ideal life in every way possible in their current life. I find, personally, positive discipline (activities: personal, moral, religious, spiritual) to be the key to preventing or at least reducing major low periods.

Try exercise and creative expression.

 

[CowsAreCool]

Find a reason to get up in the morning. Force yourself into a routine. Once you have one, then you can work on slowly adding constructive elements. Join a gym, do some community service, start reading books. Take it slow. Force yourself to do activities that have a social element.

Getting up in the morning is the hardest step, for me at least.

 

[newave3]

The answer to this question is very easy and simple. Turn off your tv and get off social media except for SS.

 

[CogitoMori]

I've just read about antisocial punishment and it seems that the better you are as a person, the more people will hate you for making them look bad, just by being good and having high standards for yourself. Maybe you're already too good for people to like you.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Hvergelmir]

How do you become a better person?

There's not universal answer to that.

There most definitely people who think you're a good person. Even the worst of the worst (whoever that is for you), can be happy with themselves and surrounded by strong supporters.
If you're not happy with yourself, odds are that you won't be happy with the kind of people who'd support you, though.

So the real question is, what changes do you want to accomplish, and what prevents you from just doing so?
In general you'll need a belief that it's possible, and the will to commit (and fail several times if necessary). The rest really depends on context.