Help how to call a suicide hotline ?

[sweetness]

hi, i know this question sounds dumb but hear me out.

i'm planning to ctb this month, but the short deadline's making me a little more reflective and hesitant. i thought it might be worth phoning the samaritans or something, but i'm not sure how to go about it. i do not live alone so i wouldn't feel comfortable calling them there, so i'll probably have to phone them outside. what time should i call them? where do i go? i'm a little worried about being spotted or something, i live in a city so it's not like where i live is very desolate. plus there's the risk i might burst out crying, and i certainly don't want anyone seeing that! this is my main concern for the moment. i don't know if i can be convinced not to ctb, or even if being convinced is in my best interest, but it's worth a shot, right?

i have a couple of other questions, too. is samaritans the best uk suicide hotline or is there a better one you reccommend? i know suicide hotlines don't have the best reputation on this forum, but i'm sure a couple of people have had good experiences with them. secondly, there appear to be some text-based hotlines on offer. are these better? should i stick with them, instead? i guess i won't have to worry about them hearing me cry, but it's not really the same, not hearing a human voice on the other end. a hotline which provides both text and phone calls would be ideal, since i can get nonverbal when overwhelmed. but i doubt such a hotline exists.

(then again, is it worth calling one at all? i've only heard bad things - they're ineffective, and even rude at times. if i do call them, will they track me or something to make sure i don't ctb? i am sorry, i'm just a little anxious. it'll be bad enough making an excuse as to why i'm leaving the house, haha.)

 

[socrates]

I think your over thinking it. It's good that your looking at all your options. When you call a suicide hotline your experience really depends on who answers the phone. You could have a great or bad experience. I don't think it will hurt anything either way. Even if it's a bad experience you might be able to take something from it. Most suicide hotlines are 24/7 so it doesn't really matter when you call. Call when ever is good for you. You could call from a park or a bathroom, just pick a time when people will be scares. As long as you text or call a suicide hotline they will know where you are in several seconds, by cell phone. I wouldn't worry to much about them calling the police on you though. They will only do that if they think your about to hurt your self or someone else.

 

[sweetness]

thank you ! i'm glad it's not as bad as i made it out to be. i guess all i need to do is get out there and call them.

 

[Silver]

Some hotlines will call the police on you if you seem at risk of ctb .... others (including the Samaritans I believe) allow you the choice . You'll have to research them first and see which seem safest. I've never called a helpline because I dislike phoning strangers so I can't offer personal experience.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

I used to work for a suicide/crisis hotline. Whether it will be helpful for you will depend on the quality of the worker, but I think it's worth a try. Keep in mind that they're mostly there to listen and not necessarily to give you advice. Don't worry about feeling anxious, crying, or getting emotional — that's what they're there for, to provide supportive listening. They may alert police if you discuss plans to ctb though, so be aware of that. I hope that you'll find it helpful if you decide to call :)

 

[Crimsonskye]

Some sites offer email/text/chat services instead of calling

 

[CuddleHug]

I've tried a text-based hotline online once. Wouldn't say it was worth the time, but it wasn't unpleasant in any way. They took me seriously and listened, which is all you can expect. @Twombly is right, they are not there to give advice. They may, but it's not the purpose of the service. They are listeners,, not therapists. Keep that in mind and don't expect them to fix your life or put you on the right track again, not directly at least. Sometimes talking to someone unbiased and who listens empathically and comforts you is all you need to feel less burdened.

Hugs

 

[Deleted member 1465]

You can call the Samaritans any time, doesn't matter. People have had varying experiences with them. I used to call them and generally I found them to be good as far as they go.
They were confidential and wouldn't call anyone on me, didn't even have the means to. They would talk about suicidal feelings, and whilst they obviously wouldn't get into the details, their stance was pro choice as far as I could tell.
Their attitude was that they were there to listen, nothing else. Not to give advice, not to tell you what to do, not to call the coppers, just to listen.
Phone calls tended to last no more than 50 minutes and then they would draw it to a close. They obviously had received training and kind of followed a sort of script for guidance though the convo wasn't scripted, but there was a pattern.
Only once did I have some chap hang up on me cuz he said he couldn't deal with it. And once the guy let me go and have a break and insisted I come back and continue talking cuz he was enjoying it. Oh and once, the lass kept actually bringing the convo round to the subject of suicide and how I thought about doing it! This actually set my spider senses tingling and freaked me out, like she was there to get her kicks or something.
But those were all outliers, mostly there was just talk, listening and sympathy, without judgement.
Just don't expect them to sort your problems out for you, they aren't there to do that.
Overall I found it a positive experience and calmed me for a while when I needed calming, but didn't make any amazing difference to my life.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I live in England and have tried using Samaritans once before. My experience was pretty neutral; the guy that answered was trying to support me, but there wasn't much that could comfort me at that point so I hung up and attempted to hang anyway. I started crying half way through, but I was alone in the woods so that didn't matter much. I was honest about the fact that I was about to make an attempt, and at the very least there were no negative consequences. I don't think you'll tend to get into trouble that easily here for being suicidal, especially since you're over 18.

 

[PolemarchStrategos]

Yeah, the Samaritans' official policy is not to call the police/paramedics unless you ask them to.

On their website it even says "we'll respect your decision to kill yourself if that is what you wish", and "We will still talk to you if you have already taken action to end your life".

 

[Toobrokentofix]

Yeah, the Samaritans' official policy is not to call the police/paramedics unless you ask them to.

On their website it even says "we'll respect your decision to kill yourself if that is what you wish", and "We will still talk to you if you have already taken action to end your life".

I'm pretty sure they only call for assistance if you become unconscious whilst on call to them.

 

[sweetness]

thank you all so much! i hope others find this useful too :>

 

[LittleJem]

I call the Samaritans every day, to help me get through the day. Usually once a day, on really bad days two or three times. (I am going to leave them some money when I die for sure). I have therefore probably spoken to over 400 volunteers. The ones I have spoken to - nearly all of them have been amazing. The amazing ones listen without judgement, don't try and fix me or change things, and sometimes they give brilliant advice that is better than the advice I get from anyone in my (difficult and unsupportive) family. When I say advice - it's not about CTB - but it's about things like a bullying situation at work or about getting over my marriage breaking up because of mental health. I am beyond grateful to them. They are there to listen...it doesn't actually have to be about CTB, though that is usually what I talk about. I call them on bad days...

The only ones I am not so keen on is the odd one or two that even though the policy of the Samaritans is to be pro-choice are clearly pro-life and are uncomfortable with me sharing suicidal thoughts. These ones annoy me, as I find it stressful to not be heard in my pain, and to have someone make assumptions. But in all my time of calling them, there have only been two or three volunteers like that who must have slipped through the net. Other than that, no bad experiences for me.

For me, like @Underscore I find it calming. It is also instant support and listening - and no-one else in my life wants to talk about how I want to die (they have all heard it already) but I am feeling it so often and other than the Samaritans (and sometimes this forum) I am alone with it. I also find it helpful to talk things through - like I have been talking through a little with them who to leave what to in my will - as I find that really stressful.

It sounds like I talk to them for hours and hours, but probably 10 or 20 mins a time. I wouldn't get through the day without them.