Venting How to cope with the idea of being trapped in existence until natural death?

[ijustwishtodie]

I know that many people here aren't trapped in existence permanently as they can access a suicide method but, for the rare few people on this site who can't access a suicide method at all no matter what (such as me), what exactly can I do to cope about it? What should I do in general? I hate at how I'm trapped in existence and all it makes me want to do is cry. I don't want to survive until natural death, I just don't. I just want to escape existence as early as possible. My only barrier to suicide is the fact that I can't access any method at all, not even the painful ones. I have no attachment to life so reasons for living like caring about loved ones or any other random human addiction doesn't apply to me. I'm only alive because of lack of availability of any suicide method.

Perhaps there isn't any way for me to cope and perhaps I'm just subjected to suffer until death is nice enough to me to kill me off naturally but how I do cope with this realisation? What do I do? It all hurts so fucking much

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Idk what you can actually do if you cannot access anything. All I can say is that it's so incredibly inhumane to restrict peaceful methods at all to make it impossible to leave existence in this world. Humans treat animals in a better way than they treat other humans. No animal (under human control) has to suffer that much if their life is torture to them.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I certainly feel stuck here for the time being because, I'm not willing to put my Dad through the experience of me CTB. For now, it's a case of making life as bearable as I can get it. So for me, that does mean working because, if I don't have a job, my parents, my family will make me feel like shit and- that seems worse. I'm doing all I can to keep my creative job because- that's better than wage slavery in retail. For me, it's been trying to find the lesser of the evils. Plus, putting up with some evils- like exercise because I'm older now and I know, if I don't do them, I'll feel even worse.

Have you ever talked to your parents and told them you are struggling? Are you 100% sure their response will make things worse? I think that's probably what I'd do in your shoes. Try to get at least some of the pressure lifted from you. In my experience, people get more pissed off if you fail after not revealing how hard you were finding things. Ultimately, they find out either way if things go horribly wrong. If you tell them now, it's less of a shock. They may actually surprise you and be understanding/ supportive. Obviously- you probably wouldn't let them know the extent of it. Still- you know them best so, maybe they could in fact make it worse.

I don't know your situation completely. Is there any likelihood you'll ever be able to be independent from them? In which case, not now but in future, you may have access to more options. In which case, awful as it is, maybe you work towards that. Again- the lesser of the evils. Work or whatever a few years to become more independent or, hold on for decades for natural death. Sometimes, it does have to be picking something you don't like to avoid something even worse. I feel like life has so much of that in it!

 

[chester]

This might be a truism, but have a think about if there's anything you can do to feel less miserable. I'm not talking about major life changes, but about the tiniest things that may help you forget for a moment, something you might even enjoy or that could bring you some sort of satisfaction. I'm not saying it will fix your problems, but it's a start.

I'm sure you'll call me a normie for having a 9 to 5 corporate job, nonetheless it helps me to get busy with tasks that require some thinking. It doesn't make my life worth living, but it's just something to do with the time. I'm not saying to look for any deeper meaning, I think we agree there isn't any, at least in the objective sense. All I'm saying is if you know you're stuck where you are, it might be easier if you find a way to make it less boring, at least until your situation changes.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I certainly feel stuck here for the time being because, I'm not willing to put my Dad through the experience of me CTB. For now, it's a case of making life as bearable as I can get it. So for me, that does mean working because, if I don't have a job, my parents, my family will make me feel like shit and- that seems worse. I'm doing all I can to keep my creative job because- that's better than wage slavery in retail. For me, it's been trying to find the lesser of the evils. Plus, putting up with some evils- like exercise because I'm older now and I know, if I don't do them, I'll feel even worse.

Have you ever talked to your parents and told them you are struggling? Are you 100% sure their response will make things worse? I think that's probably what I'd do in your shoes. Try to get at least some of the pressure lifted from you. In my experience, people get more pissed off if you fail after not revealing how hard you were finding things. Ultimately, they find out either way if things go horribly wrong. If you tell them now, it's less of a shock. They may actually surprise you and be understanding/ supportive. Obviously- you probably wouldn't let them know the extent of it. Still- you know them best so, maybe they could in fact make it worse.

I don't know your situation completely. Is there any likelihood you'll ever be able to be independent from them? In which case, not now but in future, you may have access to more options. In which case, awful as it is, maybe you work towards that. Again- the lesser of the evils. Work or whatever a few years to become more independent or, hold on for decades for natural death. Sometimes, it does have to be picking something you don't like to avoid something even worse. I feel like life has so much of that in it!

In my case, there isn't really a "lesser of evils" path that I can take since all aspects of life is equally evil to me. Working doesn't make life bearable for me at all, it instead makes it far, far worse. A lot of my suffering is caused by the inherent demands of life and how I'm unable to deal with it all. Also, yes, I'm 100% sure my parents will make things worse for me if I were to tell them the truth. I know what they are like and I know that they won't be sympathetic at all as they want me to go through the challenges of life as it is. And, no, I won't ever be independent in the future or at any time because of my neurotype.

This might be a truism, but have a think about if there's anything you can do to feel less miserable. I'm not talking about major life changes, but about the tiniest things that may help you forget for a moment, something you might even enjoy or that could bring you some sort of satisfaction. I'm not saying it will fix your problems, but it's a start.

I'm sure you'll call me a normie for having a 9 to 5 corporate job, nonetheless it helps me to get busy with tasks that require some thinking. It doesn't make my life worth living, but it's just something to do with the time. I'm not saying to look for any deeper meaning, I think we agree there isn't any, at least in the objective sense. All I'm saying is if you know you're stuck where you are, it might be easier if you find a way to make it less boring, at least until your situation changes.

There is no tiny thing that works on me. Nothing works on me and probably never will. Also, working would make things worse for me because of how demanding it is. One of my reasons for wanting to be dead is to avoid work because I'm just not meant for it nor do I want to do it. I'm getting increasingly terrified of having to do things against my will such as having to work

 

[chester]

working would make things worse for me because of how demanding it is. One of my reasons for wanting to be dead is to avoid work because I'm just not meant for it nor do I want to do it. I'm getting increasingly terrified of having to do things against my will such as having to work

I didn't mean that work would be something for you to do, I just used it as an example of something that keeps me busy. I admit though, that it helps that I have no choice in the matter, because nobody's going to pay my bills for me.

You're asking how to cope with having to live, then my answer is you need something to do. Nobody here is going to know what would work best for you, it's for you to find out. Being idle can really mess you up. I was quite close to killing myself recently. The realization that I can't do it made me furious. If I'm supposed live though, at least for some time, then I can't just do nothing. I started finding things around me which needed to be done. I still feel like shit and wish I was dead, but at least I have less stuff bothering me. And I keep on doing it. It doesn't fix my main problem in the slightest, but at least some aspects in life are no longer a problem. Life is shit, but the least I can do until I die is make some effort to make sure it's no worse than it absolutely needs to be.

I don't know how much of it would apply to you, my intention is not to tell you you're wrong, because I don't know your situation well. I'm just hoping you might find some of it useful.

 

[Jenny 1234]

Idk what you can actually do if you cannot access anything. All I can say is that it's so incredibly inhumane to restrict peaceful methods at all to make it impossible to leave existence in this world. Humans treat animals in a better way than they treat other humans. No animal (under human control) has to suffer that much if their life is torture to them.

Animals in laboratories and farms have to suffer so badly they probably wis they were dead as well

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Animals in laboratories and farms have to suffer so badly they probably wis they were dead as well

I agree with that. But evolution in inevitably connected to destruction and suffering - and animals in farms are a result in order to keep the billions of humans alive with food - just imagine if all humans still would go hunting in the forests - well we would have extinct ourselves by now. Destruction and suffering seems to be a law in this universe. It's a really complex matter.

In regards of choosing death whenever we want we humans have peaceful methods but their accessibility is restricted by governments.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I didn't mean that work would be something for you to do, I just used it as an example of something that keeps me busy. I admit though, that it helps that I have no choice in the matter, because nobody's going to pay my bills for me.

You're asking how to cope with having to live, then my answer is you need something to do. Nobody here is going to know what would work best for you, it's for you to find out. Being idle can really mess you up. I was quite close to killing myself recently. The realization that I can't do it made me furious. If I'm supposed live though, at least for some time, then I can't just do nothing. I started finding things around me which needed to be done. I still feel like shit and wish I was dead, but at least I have less stuff bothering me. And I keep on doing it. It doesn't fix my main problem in the slightest, but at least some aspects in life are no longer a problem. Life is shit, but the least I can do until I die is make some effort to make sure it's no worse than it absolutely needs to be.

I don't know how much of it would apply to you, my intention is not to tell you you're wrong, because I don't know your situation well. I'm just hoping you might find some of it useful.

Being idle permanently sounds ideal to me honestly. I hate having to do things

 

[Romanticize]

I dont understand when people say "I dont have access to any method, even the painful ones".

I get u cant get N or prescription drugs, maybe SN too, but hey there are cars, trucks driving in your area arent they? Dont you have high buildings in your area? Bridges? Train tracks or metro? Hell, for hanging only a rope is needed, you dont have to use a sophisticated anchor, people did that in prison or psych ward (where their access is REALLY limited) using bedsheets and a doorknob for example.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I dont understand when people say "I dont have access to any method, even the painful ones".

I get u cant get N or prescription drugs, maybe SN too, but hey there are cars, trucks driving in your area arent they? Dont you have high buildings in your area? Bridges? Train tracks or metro? Hell, for hanging only a rope is needed, you dont have to use a sophisticated anchor, people did that in prison or psych ward (where their access is REALLY limited) using bedsheets and a doorknob for example.

I don't really consider walking into a random car or truck to be a suicide method since they drive slow and would just cause permanent damage rather than death. And, no, whilst there are high buildings around me, I can't really get on top of them late at night. As for hanging, I can't do that either because my autistic brain is incapable of understanding how to tie knots. No matter how hard I try to learn how to tie knots, I just can't do it. There genuinely isn't anything that I can do. Just like how you don't understand what I said, I similarly can't understand those who assume that everybody has access to a suicide method of some sort. Even those on here seem to have that same assumption and it honestly hurts a lot to see it on here

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

it's beyond evil that they have trapped so many with no way out of this hell , this evil prison world and evil life

The tech is there for even suicide booths as PN's sarco showed. there should be suicide booths in every city . I imagine that could be a way out even for you? you just have to walk there and go in and press a few buttons.

the only reason there are no suicide booths is because they have made suicide booths , nembutal and others helping you with suicide crimes .

Anyone should have the right to leave this hell or to solve all their problems at once and forever which is what suicide / Death / non-existence forever would do .

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

In my case, there isn't really a "lesser of evils" path that I can take since all aspects of life is equally evil to me. Working doesn't make life bearable for me at all, it instead makes it far, far worse. A lot of my suffering is caused by the inherent demands of life and how I'm unable to deal with it all. Also, yes, I'm 100% sure my parents will make things worse for me if I were to tell them the truth. I know what they are like and I know that they won't be sympathetic at all as they want me to go through the challenges of life as it is. And, no, I won't ever be independent in the future or at any time because of my neurotype.

There is no tiny thing that works on me. Nothing works on me and probably never will. Also, working would make things worse for me because of how demanding it is. One of my reasons for wanting to be dead is to avoid work because I'm just not meant for it nor do I want to do it. I'm getting increasingly terrified of having to do things against my will such as having to work

There are a lot of definitive statements in here (I bolded some of the most pertinent ones). Are you basing them on experience or theory? In other words, have you worked before? Have you already taken practical steps to become independent, only to be shoved back to square one? Has it been proven to you that you are unable to deal with all types of work in all scenarios, that there is no tiny thing that would alleviate your suffering, that your neurotype is so debilitating as to wholly incapacitate you?

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Mushrooms and ketamine have been reliable suspensions from reality for me from time to time. But it's all temporary then back to reality. Only one permanent way out unfortunately.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

There are a lot of definitive statements in here (I bolded some of the most pertinent ones). Are you basing them on experience or theory? In other words, have you worked before? Have you already taken practical steps to become independent, only to be shoved back to square one? Has it been proven to you that you are unable to deal with all types of work in all scenarios, that there is no tiny thing that would alleviate your suffering, that your neurotype is so debilitating as to wholly incapacitate you?

Three out of the four statements that you highlighted in bold is based out of experience whereas the statement about me finding work to be unbearable is partially theory and partially experience. Sure, I never worked before in terms of having a job but I did get extremely overwhelmed with university work a few days ago to where all I could do was cry in bed and breathe heavily. I also know that work is far more demanding than university and that I don't need experience for that. The fact alone that I even have to work in the first place is just sickening and immoral. I have tried to learn basic life skills regarding independence but I failed and, right now, I'm too exhausted to do anything regarding independence. The statement about no tiny thing working on me is also true since nothing just ever works on me and my mind is always focused on the stresses of life regardless of what I do.

I don't know why the idea of somebody not being meant for life is so foreign to some people. For some people, life just won't ever be meant for them no matter how hard they try and, honestly, I don't want to try and be meant for life. All I want is to be dead because sentience is nothing but a curse on me

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Three out of the four statements that you highlighted in bold is based out of experience whereas the statement about me finding work to be unbearable is partially theory and partially experience. Sure, I never worked before in terms of having a job but I did get extremely overwhelmed with university work a few days ago to where all I could do was cry in bed and breathe heavily. I also know that work is far more demanding than university and that I don't need experience for that. The fact alone that I even have to work in the first place is just sickening and immoral. I have tried to learn basic life skills regarding independence but I failed and, right now, I'm too exhausted to do anything regarding independence. The statement about no tiny thing working on me is also true since nothing just ever works on me and my mind is always focused on the stresses of life regardless of what I do.

I don't know why the idea of somebody not being meant for life is so foreign to some people. For some people, life just won't ever be meant for them no matter how hard they try and, honestly, I don't want to try and be meant for life. All I want is to be dead because sentience is nothing but a curse on me

So if we break down your current situation, there's two issues at play:
1) Your life-battery is critically low. (In other words, you're exhausted.)
2) You cannot access CTB.

There's nothing you can do about point #2 for the moment, which leaves you with addressing point #1. All the strategies people have been suggesting in this thread to cope require at least, let's say, 25% battery. Your focus should thus be on recharging and minimizing exhaustion as much as feasibly possible. Nothing about your overall outlook on life or your desire to die has to change; it'll just make it easier to cope with point #2.

Now, easier said than done. I'm also a believer in the idea that life is not for everyone and that some of us are just irremediably empty inside -- I count myself among this cohort of people. But there are only certain windows of time in one's life where one is able to CTB, so outside of that time, everyone in that cohort still has to find a way to get by, as much as it might grate against us, as much as we might rail against the injustice of it all.

Are you currently enrolled in a full-time program at university at the moment?

 

[LunarLight]

Carelessly enjoy the few things I've got left on this Earth: heroin, music, my partner's love. When I run out of them I will have no other choice than to CTB.

 

[Passersby]

I don't know how to deal with it. It's miserable, and it will never end. I've been trying to figure this out for yrs and don't have an answer.

 

[measuremeasure]

usually this only comes up when i'm on the phone with my mom but it just ends up painful for everyone—she doesn't like that i'm suicidal/don't want to be alive, i'm angry that she decided to have me in the first place, never goes anywhere and usually we just fight. i always forget i shouldn't go towards her for comfort lol

 

[ijustwishtodie]

So if we break down your current situation, there's two issues at play:
1) Your life-battery is critically low. (In other words, you're exhausted.)
2) You cannot access CTB.

There's nothing you can do about point #2 for the moment, which leaves you with addressing point #1. All the strategies people have been suggesting in this thread to cope require at least, let's say, 25% battery. Your focus should thus be on recharging and minimizing exhaustion as much as feasibly possible. Nothing about your overall outlook on life or your desire to die has to change; it'll just make it easier to cope with point #2.

Now, easier said than done. I'm also a believer in the idea that life is not for everyone and that some of us are just irremediably empty inside -- I count myself among this cohort of people. But there are only certain windows of time in one's life where one is able to CTB, so outside of that time, everyone in that cohort still has to find a way to get by, as much as it might grate against us, as much as we might rail against the injustice of it all.

Are you currently enrolled in a full-time program at university at the moment?

How can I go about increasing my life battery? Also, even if I were to increase my life battery, would it even be enough to deal with life? I believe that everybody has a different battery size and that some people will never meet the amount of life battery that society requires even if their individual life battery is at 100%.

Also, yeah, I am in a full time university program right now

 

[pariah80]

Yeah, that would suck to have no or limited access to resources to ctb. I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't have access to the things I need to go. I don't even want to imagine. I'd have to find some way to cope, and that's the last thing I want for myself or anyone who wishes to go. I wish you luck on your journey.

It seems as though a lot of people on here actually would ctb if they had access to reliable ways of doing it. I'm not sure how much of a fact SI would be for some people on here if they could get their hands on the proper items.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yeah, that would suck to have no or limited access to resources to ctb. I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't have access to the things I need to go. I don't even want to imagine. I'd have to find some way to cope, and that's the last thing I want for myself or anyone who wishes to go. I wish you luck on your journey.

It seems as though a lot of people on here actually would ctb if they had access to reliable ways of doing it. I'm not sure how much of a fact SI would be for some people on here if they could get their hands on the proper items.

Unfortunately I have no way to cope. I either have to do something super extreme like running away from home as far away as I can or I have to stay trapped in existence until I die naturally. It's just all so fucked. In my case, I know that I would 100% be dead already if I had SN as my reasons for being alive are purely lack of accessibility to suicide methods since I don't really want to experience life itself. I don't have any coping mechanisms and, even if I did, it wouldn't be enough because of how much of my time has to be spent on merely going through life itself. Life is all a massive nightmare for me. A curse. An imposition. I have never seen life as something beautiful and I never will.

Nonetheless, thank you for your kind words. It's rare to see somebody on this site who actually understands my pain regarding this aspect since people can't comprehend the idea of having access to no/limited suicide methods

 

[pariah80]

Unfortunately I have no way to cope. I either have to do something super extreme like running away from home as far away as I can or I have to stay trapped in existence until I die naturally. It's just all so fucked. In my case, I know that I would 100% be dead already if I had SN as my reasons for being alive are purely lack of accessibility to suicide methods since I don't really want to experience life itself. I don't have any coping mechanisms and, even if I did, it wouldn't be enough because of how much of my time has to be spent on merely going through life itself. Life is all a massive nightmare for me. A curse. An imposition. I have never seen life as something beautiful and I never will.

Nonetheless, thank you for your kind words. It's rare to see somebody on this site who actually understands my pain regarding this aspect since people can't comprehend the idea of having access to no/limited suicide methods

I totally understand and sympathize. I wouldn't want to wait to die naturally. Especially with where this world seems to be headed. I don't want to go with the rest of the human race wherever they're going. I don't know if there really are coping mechanisms to get through life once you've reached our consciousness. Once you see life for what it truly is, nothing will help you deal with it. I don't see how people just deal with life every day. Even the people who have the kind of lives we're told are 'good' ones. I don't understand how people arbitrarily attach a positive value to such a weird and terrible experience.

I wish there was something I could do to help. All I can do is send love and well wishes for a clearer path on your journey.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I totally understand and sympathize. I wouldn't want to wait to die naturally. Especially with where this world seems to be headed. I don't want to go with the rest of the human race wherever they're going. I don't know if there really are coping mechanisms to get through life once you've reached our consciousness. Once you see life for what it truly is, nothing will help you deal with it. I don't see how people just deal with life every day. Even the people who have the kind of lives we're told are 'good' ones. I don't understand how people arbitrarily attach a positive value to such a weird and terrible experience.

I wish there was something I could do to help. All I can do is send love and well wishes for a clearer path on your journey.

I also don't want to die naturally. I honestly think that most natural deaths are far worse than most suicide methods. It's actually absurd just how most humans die in horrific ways all because of how they're pro suffering and don't want to die peacefully. Also, I have a feeling that you're right and that there's really nothing that I can do with this level of awareness and this level of being trapped. I feel like I would need to access something like drugs to escape reality for a bit but obviously I don't have access to that either and I never will. I don't even see the so called "good" lives as good tbh as they still have to suffer so much

 

[pariah80]

I also don't want to die naturally. I honestly think that most natural deaths are far worse than most suicide methods. It's actually absurd just how most humans die in horrific ways all because of how they're pro suffering and don't want to die peacefully. Also, I have a feeling that you're right and that there's really nothing that I can do with this level of awareness and this level of being trapped. I feel like I would need to access something like drugs to escape reality for a bit but obviously I don't have access to that either and I never will. I don't even see the so called "good" lives as good tbh as they still have to suffer so much

That's true. Even so-called 'good' lives require so much fighting just to hold onto what you've got. Everything in this life is a fucking fight. Everything is a struggle. I just simply can't see the 'good' in this situation. Factor in all the other things like wanting things that one can't have and it's just an existential mess. It's like this was designed by some asshole. That's what life is to me. Living in the mind of some asshole. Coping only sinks someone deeper into depression. So, it's just prolonging suffering. I really don't like it when someone tries to talk someone else into coping just to stay in this hellscape. It's like telling a rape victim to 'relax.'

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

How can I go about increasing my life battery? Also, even if I were to increase my life battery, would it even be enough to deal with life? I believe that everybody has a different battery size and that some people will never meet the amount of life battery that society requires even if their individual life battery is at 100%.

Also, yeah, I am in a full time university program right now

That's the question I've been reflecting on ever since my window of opportunity to CTB closed: how do I gain enough energy to even just minimally get by? The usual methods that people use--1) joy in game-playing* (see footnote) and 2) love--are not available to me, and I feel confident in assuming that they aren't available to you either.

In the end what ended up recharging me some 5-10% was a road trip that I rather spontaneously and unwisely undertook out of sheer desperation. I know this exact option is not possible for you, but it's worth noting that it wasn't the travelling part that caused the recharge: it was the fact of having zero pressure on me while still having something easy to do. For those few days, literally the only task I had during the day was to drive. That's it. I don't know if I can quite articulate why, but that seemed to have a soothing effect, even though it didn't touch my desire to die in the least.

Hence why I asked if you're in university, because uni is pretty much the exact opposite of the scenario I just described (ie. high-pressure, plenty of tasks to do by a certain deadline, etc.). If I had to deal with a full course load right now my suffering would probably increase exponentially and I don't think I'd be able to cope whatsoever because my battery is still very low in absolute terms, even if it's now high enough to allow me to cope with the daily burden of existing in an organic body.

Is there a way you can reduce your course load, or take a semester off altogether?

Spoiler: Footnote

I am not literally referring to video games here, I use the term "game-playing" in the Szaszian sense, so this includes things like career, dating, hobbies, etc. I highly recommend reading his seminal work, The Myth of Mental Illness, but the relevant quote is probably this:

[...] persons need not only other people but also rules worth following--or, more generally, games worth playing. Men suffer grievously when they find no games worth playing. [...] To live meaningfully, man must be interested and invested in more than just objects. He must have games he finds worth playing. The principal affective manifestations of an eagerness to engage in life are curiosity, hope, and zest. As a loving attitude implies interest in persons [...] so a hopeful attitude implies interest in games. [...] Hope, then, is an expectation of successful participation in social interactions. This might imply winning, or playing well, or just enjoying the game. The point is that an unflagging interest in playing various games is an indispensable requirement for successful social living--that is, for what is often referred to as "mental health."

That's true. Even so-called 'good' lives require so much fighting just to hold onto what you've got. Everything in this life is a fucking fight. Everything is a struggle. I just simply can't see the 'good' in this situation. Factor in all the other things like wanting things that one can't have and it's just an existential mess. It's like this was designed by some asshole. That's what life is to me. Living in the mind of some asshole. Coping only sinks someone deeper into depression. So, it's just prolonging suffering. I really don't like it when someone tries to talk someone else into coping just to stay in this hellscape.

Not to mention that you can spend your entire life fighting for something only to have it unceremoniously ripped away from you, often through no fault of your own. For me this is what aging has meant: loss followed by loss followed by loss. It's so cruel that centuries after the "Enlightenment," we somehow still haven't figured out that people should be allowed to drop the gloves at any point of their choosing and end the fight.

 

[nattys5thtoenail]

For me I just tell myself that life is like a game, and that I can exist any time that I desire to. I also "practice" writing my suicide note so it gives me a peace of mind that everything will be over soon.

I can't wait to die.

 

[beseechgod]

I agree with that. But evolution in inevitably connected to destruction and suffering - and animals in farms are a result in order to keep the billions of humans alive with food - just imagine if all humans still would go hunting in the forests - well we would have extinct ourselves by now. Destruction and suffering seems to be a law in this universe. It's a really complex matter.

In regards of choosing death whenever we want we humans have peaceful methods but their accessibility is restricted by governments.

The suffering of animals in labs and factory farms is cruel and unnatural though. I'm certain it's far greater than that of animals that die in the wild being hunted. The same goes for us humans. Our lives are cruel and unnatural. It's true that suffering is a part of life, but we live in a world so corrupted and unbalanced that the collective suffering is far, far greater than it needs to be. The animals suffer to feed the extreme excess of humans on earth who also suffer.