Help How to end a toxic friendship with my ''best friend''?

[Michael_the_ratman]

Hi! I am actively trying to better myself and to get better mentally. Recently, I've decided to cut off my friends whom were bad for me. Unfortunately, I've realized that the girl that I considered my best friend is actually a bad person.

Here are some things she did: 1-Made me do her homework late at night because she didn't want to do them, then she would complain that I wasn't doing her homework fast enough. 2-Pictures of an exam got leaked, she asked me to answer all the exam questions (so she could copy them on a piece of paper and bring it to the exam). She would again complain that I was too slow and pressure me. 3-Talked bad about me behind my back to people who disliked me, then acted all friendly towards me. 4-She would often insist a lot on me doing things when I clearly told her no. 5-Burnt the face of someone with incense --- There's probably much more but I am someone who lets things slide a lot and don't realize it's wrong.

She's also very immature. She changed a lot, and I dislike the new person she is now. She mostly talks about boys, she randomly picks one cute guy that she never talks to and calls him her ''crush''. Then she makes her whole personality said ''crush'' and delusions over him. It's so annoying.

I think she discovered that something was wrong between us. I made her unfollow me on Instagram and unfollowed her, stopped contacting her, being dry on text and taking longer to reply. I have a very strong feeling she wants to repair our friendship because 1-School starts again soon and she probably wants me to do her homework and help her cheat again 2-I used to be into withcraft and hex someone (basically a bad spell) and I told her everything that happened to said person. (Note, I only hex once, I chose to move on and forgive). 3-She's scared I expose all of her secrets. --- I know for a fact she is scared of being hex since I know she said it to 2 of her friends. She told me she was scared I ''expose her''. For the school thing, it's just a strong feeling.

I'd like to end our friendship politely. I wanna avoid hurting her more then I need, and causing drama. She's also quite popular in our college, so she could 100% cause me trouble. I wanna avoid telling her why I wanna stop being her friend, since she will start to argue with me and manipulate me (I'm very easily manipulable).

Thanks for reading my post <33
Have a good day ^^

 

[glyph]

you really should cut her off, it's not gonna end well for you if you don't. i'd suggest texting her or telling her in a calm manner that you don't want to talk to her anymore, without any accusations or anything like that, but if you really think that telling that straight to her will cause trouble with your college then just ignore her, she'll eventually move on.

 

[nir]

You just need to be straight up - tell her that this is a period of growth and change in your life, and you don't see a future friendship with her. Wish her the best and leave it at that. If she tries to manipulate you, just tell her that you've given this a lot of thought and you don't think your futures align. You can tell her that it doesn't mean you hate her, you just don't think it would be beneficial for either of you to keep the friendship up. If she keeps pestering you, just let her be. You don't have to keep explaining yourself to her. Keep it sweet and brief :)

 

[creirwy]

I think there's no way to cut someone off "politely". I went through something similar and I wrote her a message in the nicest way possible, even apologized. She still went crazy and talked shit to absolutely everybody I knew. I think some people just are like that.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

If u feel they could make trouble for you, then you can choose to bite the bullet as they say, put all the cards on the table and see where the chips may fall and try to handle the fallout. I don't recommend that, instead work on avoidance and weening them off as you've been doing. but you will have to do ur best not to get drawn into their drama and stay "on mission" to extricate yourself.

 

[GetReadyy]

You can talk to her less and less each day and eventually cut off communication

 

[F@#$]

Put a hex on her.

 

[JealousOfTheElderly]

I am probably a little more than double your age and am going through something similar. If confronting the person is uncomfortable, then just create distance. Take longer to answer texts or don't answer most of them. Eventually, stop answering them altogether. Put distance between you two and just say "oh I guess we grew apart."
Hopefully that should help. It's helping me a lot. (I need to put distance between me and a former coworker because I don't want to hear any more gossip or rumors about a place I used to work that the toxic environment darn near killed me due to workplace bullying and harassment. She won't respect my wishes or my boundaries so..... I had to cut her off.)

Put a hex on her.

No, do not do this. It will ruin your life. "Threefold return" or "Threefold law" says that any harm you intend to inflict on others will come back to you 3 times stronger.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Hi! I am actively trying to better myself and to get better mentally. Recently, I've decided to cut off my friends whom were bad for me. Unfortunately, I've realized that the girl that I considered my best friend is actually a bad person.

Here are some things she did: 1-Made me do her homework late at night because she didn't want to do them, then she would complain that I wasn't doing her homework fast enough. 2-Pictures of an exam got leaked, she asked me to answer all the exam questions (so she could copy them on a piece of paper and bring it to the exam). She would again complain that I was too slow and pressure me. 3-Talked bad about me behind my back to people who disliked me, then acted all friendly towards me. 4-She would often insist a lot on me doing things when I clearly told her no. 5-Burnt the face of someone with incense --- There's probably much more but I am someone who lets things slide a lot and don't realize it's wrong.

She's also very immature. She changed a lot, and I dislike the new person she is now. She mostly talks about boys, she randomly picks one cute guy that she never talks to and calls him her ''crush''. Then she makes her whole personality said ''crush'' and delusions over him. It's so annoying.

I think she discovered that something was wrong between us. I made her unfollow me on Instagram and unfollowed her, stopped contacting her, being dry on text and taking longer to reply. I have a very strong feeling she wants to repair our friendship because 1-School starts again soon and she probably wants me to do her homework and help her cheat again 2-I used to be into withcraft and hex someone (basically a bad spell) and I told her everything that happened to said person. (Note, I only hex once, I chose to move on and forgive). 3-She's scared I expose all of her secrets. --- I know for a fact she is scared of being hex since I know she said it to 2 of her friends. She told me she was scared I ''expose her''. For the school thing, it's just a strong feeling.

I'd like to end our friendship politely. I wanna avoid hurting her more then I need, and causing drama. She's also quite popular in our college, so she could 100% cause me trouble. I wanna avoid telling her why I wanna stop being her friend, since she will start to argue with me and manipulate me (I'm very easily manipulable).

Thanks for reading my post <33
Have a good day ^^

My advice, something I never did until much later, is do some social influence work yourself. The problem with these manipulative people is they can craft negative narratives about you to other people to push their own agenda. Your friend may be scared of you exposing her, so ruining your credibility and making a negative narrative about you is the perfect way to counter anything that comes out your mouth. I'm not saying she's most definitely doing this, but from my experience of dealing with manipulative and entitled people, they do the most unhinged, retarded shit ever. My advice is tell other people about your experience with her and "manipulate" others into knowing she's the bad person. The way you can do this is by chatting with friends and then trying to push into the conversation about this girl as if you need advice on how to deal with the situation. Flatter the other person about how you know they're smart and know what to do socially and ask for advice. As you explain it, the other person will get your side of the story. Do this with a lot of friends.

You might be wondering, "Just move on!" This is the thing—your friend might think you are exposing her (I've had situations like this, and these negative people might already assume you did something bad and do extreme backlash anyway), and she might cause damage. If you influence others by saying your side of the story, you can have a buffer zone and not have to risk your reputation being completely ruined. This is coming from me who always isolated myself from drama, always peacefully moved on to conserve my energy, and then ended up realizing being isolated is the best way for people to target you because you don't have anyone else to defend you. Lots of people made tons of rumors about me and groups hated me because I didn't care about the influence of social power. They never heard my side of the story because I never had bothered to tell anyone. If I had spent the time to talk shit about all the nasty people who were doing stuff to me, I would probably not be in the situation I was in. It's not the biggest deal, but now that I want to be more social, I would avoid following the path again because I don't wanna run solo all the time.