Help How to prepare family for CTB emotionally

[Thomas Rekowicz]

What do you want your family member, friends do before departure IT will give you emotional relieve in a long run. I know about necessity to write a letters in which you can explain IT is not their fault you CTB i was intrested in suicidology and letters seems important from that perspective. Spending some quality time with my friends is done i show them as much love and care i was able to. I want know your perspective what can i do to minimise their trauma i don't want someone spiral into depression and also CTB because of me. Please share your ideas how to take care about people close to me before i CTB. I will do material preparation such as close all legal matters i am intrested in emotional part of a problem.

 

[TheHolySword]

You can't. You can write letters, leave a will, but in the end this will devastate everyone you love for the rest of their lives. You have to accept that. It is a pain that will never go away. I understand everyone wants to make it easier but you never will.

 

[wiggy]

You can make the process as frictionless as possible by having your affairs in order before the fact. I don't know of any particularly effective ways to mitigate the emotional reaction though.

 

[rottenandabused]

I don't believe there is a way to soften the impact. In my case, even self harm makes my mom grief -- Family knows I'm capable of CTB, so every time i relapse they think that my next step will be catch the bus.

 

[saturn1402]

personally I think :
- ctb in a 'peaceful' way (they will not have to imagine or see your body in a bad state )
- talk about your struggles so they wouldn't be so much caught off guard
- leave letters where you reassure you had a good life, you love them and they couldn't have done anything to save you and write letters in a positive tone
- they won't have to be the ones finding you
- make sure all your affairs are in order before you ctb
- spend quality time with them before ctb

 

[devils~advocate]

In addition to above....
I'd suggest to making voice recordings of yourself...telling them all this.
They get to hear for themselves in your voice, so they know its really from you, deep down.
Ive done this....several hours worth.....going thru my life biography, ups/downs, my depression, etc
I only really care about what one person feels in my family...and I know my ctb will hurt them more than anything in their life....its the only reason I havent ctb'd already.

 

[failedmind]

I'm going to be writing letters and possibly leaving videos/voice notes. I'm going to try to spend as much time with them as possible and get rid of my things so they don't have to deal with my stuff. I'm also going to make sure they aren't the ones to find me so I don't traumatize them even more. But even with doing all of this, I know it will still hurt them so much and it's something I just have to kind of accept. :/

 

[Thomas Rekowicz]

Voice recording is a great idea thank you!

 

[devils~advocate]

Voice recording is a great idea thank you!

My suggestion is to use a simple recorder....one that can make mp3s or whatever...something simple that anyone can play.
Some of the people I am leaving my recordings to, have limited computer knowledge.
I plan on putting all my recordings on a USB drive & another that is a copy.
It will also have scans of all documents, will, passwords.....anything written I want them to have.
I'll have prints of these as well in folders. I dont want them to worry about losing anything.

For the recordings....maybe think about what you want to say before hand....like an agenda or outline.
Sometimes Ive gone off tangent before...and it was hard for me to get back on course. Or at least I thought it sounded as if I did.
Mine have all just been sequential in my biography thru the years.....but some might want to organize it like an audio book.
Since this can be in a sense....an audio book about you.
The last correspondence from you....can be special to them...hearing your voice.

 

[cherrycoke]

I'm going to be writing letters and possibly leaving videos/voice notes. I'm going to try to spend as much time with them as possible and get rid of my things so they don't have to deal with my stuff. I'm also going to make sure they aren't the ones to find me so I don't traumatize them even more. But even with doing all of this, I know it will still hurt them so much and it's something I just have to kind of accept. :/

I have what I call a fake YouTube channel where I review movies and books. I've only put 2 videos up over the last 3 years but I plan on making a bunch of them before I CTB soon. I want to review my favorite movies, shows and books for my friends and family to have something of me. Doing something I loved. Plus personal letters.

 

[bwonto]

I've been doing something similar to this. Whatever I end up doing, it's been a positive process to revisit things I love and document them. I'm careful about what I say in my little recordings so that however they end up being viewed, it will be from a place of love (from me). Thanks for the validation of this, cherrycoke!

 

[heavysoul]

I've been home for spring break and I might ctb next week, but while I'm home I've been spending time with my family members and trying to be in a happy mood around them whenever I remember to.