Help How to say goodbye to my girlfriend?

[chapternate]

I love this woman with all my heart, I really do. And it's not fair on her and I wish I didn't need to go, but I do. I'm sad that there's gonna be a last time I hold her hand, and a last kiss and that she's not going to know before it's over. I wish I didn't have to hurt her, I wish there was a way to make it easier for her.
I'm scared to say goodbye. I don't know how I'm gonna be able to have my last day with her- knowing that it's our last- without getting over-emotional or blurting out that im gonna ctb and ruin everything because I want to give her a proper goodbye. Closure. It's not fair to not say goodbye. It's not fair to not see her before I go, and it's not fair to put all my feelings in to a note, to not be direct. I feel like I'm lying to her already. I want to show her that even though I'm going to ctb and even though there's nothing that's gonna change that, I still love her just like I always have.
But how do you do that. How do you say goodbye to someone,,, without saying goodbye?

 

[Limbo]

you dont say goodbye. When you die nothing exists anymore. Whats the point?

 

[chapternate]

you dont say goodbye. When you die nothing exists anymore. Whats the point?

Because I I know that the people I love deserve it from me and that I owe it to them. After I'm dead I owe no one anything, but before I die,,,, im gonna still be alive,,, obviously,,, and whether or not I want that isn't relevant because I am and I'm not gonna,,, literally ghost (haha im so funny) the people I love bc suicidal or not I still have my own standards about who I am and what I do and how I treat my loved ones, even if it'll be gone in a week.
it won't be gone for them. And while I'm still living that is partly my burden to bear and my responsibility to make as easy as possible.

 

[Arak]

In a letter ? Don't betray yourself, try to keep that last day somewhat ordinary.

 

[Prime]

Send a delayed email.

 

[Anyara]

Important things first... your cat looks amazing and super cute...

Second, you can do what I did, write a letter to her and tell her what you just told us. Be honest that you wanted to tell her. How you felt she deserved that, but couldnt do it to protect yourself in light of the the fact you had to go through with CTB ..
She might understand better and you will know you have done what you could to explain to her it wasnt with bad intend that you didn't say goodbye.