Help How to stop caring (please help me)

[DoNotLet2]

Hello
How do you stop caring about other people? I don't want to feel the need to be loved. It only makes my life much more painful. How to stop feeling the need to keep in touch with other people? How to stop feel like talking? No one listens to me but I keep talking how to stop it? Come on please help me.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think the book Boundaries may be helpful for all of this.

I don't think there are resources to help accomplish what you seek, but rather to reframe and approach the issues from different perspectives.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I think the book Boundaries may be helpful for all of this.

I don't think there are resources to help accomplish what you seek, but rather to reframe and approach the issues from different perspectives.

Thanks for the answer Idk if I will read that book but maybe.
In other words. I have high needs for people (I need people) but I will never have those needs satisfied. The only solution is to have much lower needs. I need to stop giving a shit basically.

 

[Kumachan]

Hello
How do you stop caring about other people? I don't want to feel the need to be loved. It only makes my life much more painful. How to stop feeling the need to keep in touch with other people? How to stop feel like talking? No one listens to me but I keep talking how to stop it? Come on please help me.

I dont think you can stop wanting the things you desire, caring about things you care - its a given. Its like trying to be happy when you are down in the dumps - only makes you feel shittier cos of resistance. How about not caring about caring about other people? You wanna talk just talk even no one listens.

For example i feel like shit, sad because i pushed away a very close person - normally Id try to resist that feeling by engaging in a thought process - that only makes things worse. So I just say "ok i give up. Yes i feel like shit" and relax a bit, cos its exhausting tryin to escape...

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Maybe look up co-dependence?

It seems you're seeking a pendulum swing from something not natural because it's too much, to something that's totally opposite and completely unnatural, to not feel or attach at all. Over attachment to total non-attachment.

That's why I suggest other perspectives, to help identify root causes or to identify different approaches to the problem.

 

[DoNotLet2]

@Kumachan I think that's a way but I really need to stop caring about other people. Otherwise I have no option left but to die.

Maybe look up co-dependence?

It seems you're seeking a pendulum swing from something not natural because it's too much, to something that's totally opposite and completely unnatural, to not feel or attach at all. Over attachment to total non-attachment.

That's why I suggest other perspectives, to help identify root causes or to identify different approaches to the problem.

I don't understand anything from your post could you rewrite it?

 

[Kumachan]

@Kumachan I think that's a way but I really need to stop caring about other people. Otherwise I have no option left but to die.

I cant really stop missing her and regret my being gigantic ass. So i have to die. Right.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I cant really stop missing her and regret my being gigantic ass. So i have to die. Right.

No you misunderstood me! It's about me not you. You don't have to die.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'll gladly rewrite it!

I feel too much. I love too much. I speak too much.

Therefore, the solution is to not feel, to not love, and to not speak.

The opposite will cause new problems, more problems.

Something in between would be better. But to get there, you need explanations and/or tools.

Learning about co-dependence will do both. Even if you don't understand the explanations, you can learn by using the tools. Maybe this website will help.

The book Boundaries also has explanations and tools.

Is that better?

 

[Kumachan]

No you misunderstood me! It's about me not you. You don't have to die.

I understand but i was talking about myself - i cant find a long term solution. But maybe you will be able to...

 

[DoNotLet2]

I'll gladly rewrite it!

I feel too much. I love too much. I speak too much.

Therefore, the solution is to not feel, to not love, and to not speak.

The opposite will cause new problems, more problems.

Something in between would be better. But to get there, you need explanations and/or tools.

Learning about co-dependence will do both. Even if you don't understand the explanations, you can learn by using the tools. Maybe this website will help.

The book Boundaries also has explanations and tools.

Is that better?

Oh no it's me. Why the fuck do I have to be fuckin always so bad? I have all the fuckin weaknesses and now that codependency thing? I'm always the worst I never do anything well and I'm not exaggerating it's really like that unfortunately.
Do you mean by something in between just normal needs? Not too much not too little? There is a problem. My needs can't be satisfied AT ALL. That's why I need to have no needs.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

:( But one can't not have needs.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish I could fix it or tell you how. Sending empathy.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Ehh you're ruining my hope to feel nothing. In all other cases I'm gonna suffer pointlessly.
EDIT: I'm not blaming you of course, just saying.

 

[selfhater]

so same:( it makes me suffer more i hate it

 

[timf]

If you have a high level of sensitivity for other people, you will probably have to create a sort of filter such that not everyone gets close to you. In this way you may be able to still draw near to those who will be kind and loving, yet remain distant from those would would hurt or abuse.

 

[ssaaahmo]

for me personally i couldn't choose to not care about others or even fully stop caring
it's just part of my nature to help others all the time so even when i need a break i don't know how to even take one

 

[madbananas]

Oh no it's me. Why the fuck do I have to be fuckin always so bad? I have all the fuckin weaknesses and now that codependency thing? I'm always the worst I never do anything well and I'm not exaggerating it's really like that unfortunately.
Do you mean by something in between just normal needs? Not too much not too little? There is a problem. My needs can't be satisfied AT ALL. That's why I need to have no needs.

I am in a similar position. First of all, just because the majority of people would say we are weird and therefore "wrong", doesn't mean we are. We are just unique in this sense. Sadly this uniqueness creates all sorts of difficulties for us. But again, doesn't mean we are wrong. I have felt some relief from just accepting this is how I am. Accepting it, for me, has made me actually feel more free, which in turn, has led me to be less dependent on others. As humans, we are brought up with the idea that we must be social creatures, which then becomes unfortunate when individuals cant respond in a way which facilitates our uniqueness. You would maybe benefit from watching some self empowerment videos on YouTube which talk about how healthy detachment with love can lead to feeling more empowered. This has what has helped me anyway (I still relapse to old pain but not as much anymore), so just a suggestion. Either way, I am sorry you're going through this. It's not easy. Hugs.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I am in a similar position. First of all, just because the majority of people would say we are weird and therefore "wrong", doesn't mean we are. We are just unique in this sense. Sadly this uniqueness creates all sorts of difficulties for us. But again, doesn't mean we are wrong. I have felt some relief from just accepting this is how I am. Accepting it, for me, has made me actually feel more free, which in turn, has led me to be less dependent on others. As humans, we are brought up with the idea that we must be social creatures, which then becomes unfortunate when individuals cant respond in a way which facilitates our uniqueness. You would maybe benefit from watching some self empowerment videos on YouTube which talk about how healthy detachment with love can lead to feeling more empowered. This has what has helped me anyway (I still relapse to old pain but not as much anymore), so just a suggestion. Either way, I am sorry you're going through this. It's not easy. Hugs.

Sorry but no self-acceptance is possible until I'm fine enough. Maybe you're just good enough to accept yourself? I'm clearly not. I'm not a perfectionist either I'm not patient enough to be one.

 

[madbananas]

Sorry but no self-acceptance is possible until I'm fine enough. Maybe you're just good enough to accept yourself? I'm clearly not. I'm not a perfectionist either I'm not patient enough to be one.

I'm sorry. I've done a lot of things that are bad and I live with the guilt which makes me want to ctb on a regular basis. It was just a suggestion. Anyway, I hope you find an opportunity to feel some relief soon.

 

[DoNotLet2]

I'm sorry. I've done a lot of things that are bad and I live with the guilt which makes me want to ctb on a regular basis. It was just a suggestion. Anyway, I hope you find an opportunity to feel some relief soon.

No don't apologize your idea would be good if I wasn't too hopeless for it.
You're not that bad as you think you are.

 

[madbananas]

No don't apologize your idea would be good if I wasn't too hopeless for it.
You're not that bad as you think you are.

Aw I can appreciate that. Being hopeless is paralysing. Hugs

 

[bunny]

it's okay to care. just put boundaries in your care before you fuck yourself up. people can be such parasites to our energies, unintentional or not

 

[DoNotLet2]

it's okay to care. just put boundaries in your care before you fuck yourself up. people can be such parasites to our energies, unintentional or not

But what exactly are those boundaries?

 

[bunny]

But what exactly are those boundaries?

to recognize and accept that you cannot control people to behave adaptively if they are unwilling to change is one. another is recognize your levels of stress when you are supporting someone and stop once you are at your limit. redirecting your empathic energy is possible. i'm sure there are resources online for this

 

[Mr2005]

@Kumachan I think that's a way but I really need to stop caring about other people. Otherwise I have no option left but to die.


I don't understand anything from your post could you rewrite it?

Interesting. If I stop caring about other people there's no reason to keep living. I have to even though it's painful. Don't mistake it for the need to be loved either