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Every time I've tried to kill myself I've gotten into a panic towards the end and told someone...No matter how high on benzos or weed or alcohol I was. How do I stop this? I know i'm more than ready to go, I couldn't stand another failed attempt. Any tips?
Every time I've tried to kill myself I've gotten into a panic towards the end and told someone...No matter how high on benzos or weed or alcohol I was. How do I stop this? I know i'm more than ready to go, I couldn't stand another failed attempt. Any tips?
Maybe make sure you're not gonna see anyone for at least 24 hours beforehand and make sure you can't get to a phone to call anyone for help? Just a couple ideas.
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justanotherday, myrtaryniel, Jessica- and 1 other person
Maybe make sure you're not gonna see anyone for at least 24 hours beforehand and make sure you can't get to a phone to call anyone for help? Just a couple ideas.
I´ll add something to this statement. Not seeing loved ones for weeks or preferable 1 month will help a lot it´s like meeting with family or friends gives a lot of lifefuel and guilt and I have noticed the times when I didn´t have contact with anyone for 2 weeks it helped a lot with feeling "ready" to ctb and then when my parents called or visited me I would kind of reset because I would feel guilty of wanting to ctb especially because my mother will light up with such happiness when she sees me so if it is at all possible try to avoid any contact with loved ones for several weeks.
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justanotherday, Powderedmonster, siray and 6 others
No one has yet come up with a reliable way to stifle Survival Instinct. Even more than N, that is the Grail of suicide.
There is a way past SI for each of us, but as near as I can tell it's specific to each individual, and it is a moving target. What you're sure will work one day turns out to be worthless the next. What your comrades in misery suggest must be a perfect block to SI --alcohol, drugs, music, meditation-- turns out to be a complete bust. Only a successful attempt will tell you what really works.
I've had six failed attempts in the past 12 months; all SI, all despite a peaceful, reliable method (eb/N2). It's a bitch.
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justanotherday, siray, lululoo and 2 others
No one has yet come up with a reliable way to stifle Survival Instinct. Even more than N, that is the Grail of suicide.
There is a way past SI for each of us, but as near as I can tell it's specific to each individual, and it is a moving target. What you're sure will work one day turns out to be worthless the next. What your comrades in misery suggest must be a perfect block to SI --alcohol, drugs, music, meditation-- turns out to be a complete bust. Only a successful attempt will tell you what really works.
I've had six failed attempts in the past 12 months; all SI, all despite a peaceful, reliable method (eb/N2). It's a bitch.
I assume you meant to write that you're thinking to try CTB with eb/N2, rather than with SI (Survival Instinct). If so, there's a megathread in which I wrote down pretty much everything I know, and which was then improved considerably by other people's contributions: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/exit-bag-and-inert-gas-megathread.8393/
But be warned: just because eb/N2 is painless doesn't mean it makes you immune from SI.
Study both philosophy & psychology and it help you control your mindset at the lowest level.
Basically the wisdom of nihilism, determinism, free will being an illusion, how the human conscious isn't real and everything correlates with the field of physics. All your pain & misfortune was predetermined and even how you will die (whatever the case will be).
Every time I've tried to kill myself I've gotten into a panic towards the end and told someone...No matter how high on benzos or weed or alcohol I was. How do I stop this? I know i'm more than ready to go, I couldn't stand another failed attempt. Any tips?
Every time I've tried to kill myself I've gotten into a panic towards the end and told someone...No matter how high on benzos or weed or alcohol I was. How do I stop this? I know i'm more than ready to go, I couldn't stand another failed attempt. Any tips?
Maybe putting yourself in the worse position possible and making your life circumstances the worst they could possibly be, would elevate the flight mode in your unconscious mind and overtake the fight/survival mode. It seemed to work for me once during my first serious attempt (which is the hardest, once you've tried you're not scared anymore or at least not as much as you were). I was faced with having to withdraw cold turkey off my pain meds and benzos because my doctor was going to cut me off, so in an act of desperation I was able to swallow the hundreds of pills I had from my final prescription. I ended up in ICU and was in and out of a coma for a week, but at least by the time I regained consciousness I no longer was going through drug withdrawal and didn't have to go through the symptoms of the overdose. I also had no long-term damage. I wouldn't recommend this, if you're already suicidal then your life is probably bad enough for you, but if you're desperate enough to die it may work.
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