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yearnforanescape

Member
May 13, 2019
14
I guess the truth is I'm not 100% decided on suicide. I am preparing the means, but while I do so I'm thinking of giving things a go with my psychologist talking about the issues behind my suicidality. For all I know, there's hope, and I ought to explore it.

How have people worked out talking about their issues while avoiding the topic of suicidal ideation and intent, and inevitable related welfare checks?

My psychologist knows my housemate, and I need to keep things on the downlow. I am not prepared to sabotage myself by giving up the means to ctb.
 
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astr4

astr4

memento mori
Mar 27, 2019
550
before my therapist ghosted me lol lol lol we had an agreement/understanding that i could have all the plans i wanted and as long as i didn't have a date in mind and committed to seeing her again the next week, she wouldn't say anything to authorities. but we had a rapport by then and i was also clear i had fired past therapists for calling the cops, and clear that those incidents had only worsened my suicidality, so there was. yeah idk we had an understanding. i did also threaten that if she called the authorities then whenever i got out i would just kill myself and then she would have to be in the uncomfortable position of knowing she could have certainly done more to help me if she was just less heavy handed. so. emotional blackmail for sure. but like. as a psychologist would you rather punish me for my honest feelings, or take advantage of those honest feelings in order to create a rapport with me?
 
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yearnforanescape

Member
May 13, 2019
14
That is an interesting experience, and it sounds like it was made possible by a strong rapport.

I have not been seeing my psychologist for a long time, but it could be a good relationship. I don't have any hope I can talk to him about suicide; I want to talk to him about the variety of issues pushing me towards it, while avoiding the topic specifically of suicide as much as possible.