I'd look at reducing, as much as possible, exposure to anything that reinforces your self-hatred. For instance, researching conversion therapy would be highly problematic here. As an alternative, you could research LGBTQ resources, advice, and guidance for reducing internalized homophobia and improving self-compassion and self-acceptance.
Another thing I'd look at is self-affirmations. These are short statements you can say to yourself to counteract your self-hatred and negative self-talk. For example, "I am worthy of love," "I am kind and compassionate," "I can embrace who I am," "My feelings and emotions are valid," etc. There are probably hundreds or even thousands of possible short statements you could use to this effect, repeating them to yourself (a lot -- repetition is key) as a means of countering self-hatred.
And try to catch yourself before you go too far with negative self-talk. If you can identify a negative thought, you could think of ways to neutralize it. For instance, if your thought is, "I am unlovable," you could neutralize that by recognizing it as a judgement rather than an objective fact and then challenging it with something like, "I might feel unloved, but that doesn't mean I'm unlovable." (A better challenge in this example would involve acknowledging positive traits in yourself and using those as evidence of being a lovable human being.)
You could also dive deeper into how your self-hatred developed in the first place.
It can usually be traced back to early negative life experiences in childhood or adolescence. There are things like neglect, abuse, bullying, feeling outcast among peers, difficulty in social settings, being the target of other people's frustration or stress, etc. It could also be attributed in part to an absence of positive experiences. Specifically to sexuality, there would be exposure to homophobia.
These experiences lead to the development of negative core beliefs, for example, "I'm unlovable," "I'm useless," "I'm stupid," etc.
And then these core beliefs lead to the development of maladaptive coping mechanisms and automatic (subconscious) assumptions. For example, if a core belief is "I'm unlovable," then maybe some coping mechanisms are, "I must people-please at all times, even if it means compromising who I am as a person," or, "I must never show emotions," or, "I must never make mistakes." And automatic assumptions could be along the lines of, "If I allow myself to get too close to someone, I'll be rejected," or, "People who try to get close to me are only doing this because they pity me."
These maladaptive coping mechanisms and automatic assumptions allow you to feel better and more secure about yourself in your day-to-day life because they protect you from feeling the sting of those core beliefs. But this is a fallacy because they're simultaneously causing undue stress as they are unrealistic standards to adhere to, as well as reinforcing (worsening, even) your self-hatred.
For purposes of trying to unlearn self-hatred, your core beliefs, coping mechanisms, and assumptions are fundamental components (they are part of your generalized outlook and approach to life). Identifying these would help towards catching your negative thoughts and behaviours and then challenging and countering them in the moment as they happen.
