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Praying 4 a Miracle

Praying 4 a Miracle

Experienced
Sep 22, 2024
247
I still can't believe that I have allowed myself to trip and fall into this pit of suffering, but I've decided that I am determined to recover, no matter how hard or impossible it seems to be right now.

I respect the people in this forum who have decided that they have no hope of recovery, and are just looking for a way to escape their suffering. I totally get it, and very often find myself feeling this way as well.

Personally however, I'm now feeling determined to survive and recover, no matter what. I still don't know exactly how I'm going to pull this off, but I feel like as long as I have breath in me, I have to give it every possible chance to happen.

Is there anyone else who is feeling this way currently?
 
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N

NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
427
I still can't believe that I have allowed myself to trip and fall into this pit of suffering, but I've decided that I am determined to recover, no matter how hard or impossible it seems to be right now.

I respect the people in this forum who have decided that they have no hope of recovery, and are just looking for a way to escape their suffering. I totally get it, and very often find myself feeling this way as well.

Personally however, I'm now feeling determined to survive and recover, no matter what. I still don't know exactly how I'm going to pull this off, but I feel like as long as I have breath in me, I have to give it every possible chance to happen.

Is there anyone else who is feeling this way currently?
I do not feel this way, but I am really happy for you. Best of luck!
 
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Hero Remeer

Hero Remeer

Member
Sep 22, 2024
53
I'm glad you feel that way and share it.
Sometimes I feel that way, because I think that the process I'm going through is for something bigger, something that will help me increase my understanding and comprehension, my compassion too.
In any case, stay calm, these things happen and having compassion for yourself and forgiving yourself is important.
Greetings, be well and a hug
 
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J

JustAStory

Member
Aug 30, 2024
12
Recovery can happen. Most of the people that experience suicidal thinking will in fact recover.

I too recovered two times, for many years. In those years I recovered even from depression - sure, I was more vulnerable than "normal" people, but life can definitely get good again - not good moments, a good life.

However, I don't want to trivialize the discourse that this forum is based on.
This forum is full of beautiful souls that suffered incredibly for decades. Their views on life and death touch me deeply.
I won't make names, but I already told them on occasions.
There are stories that sadden me deeply, and really make me think about the access to assisted suicide for those that are suffering this much.

What I have a very hard time coming to terms with is providing such detailed method explainations to people that are having major life events and adjusting to their pain... cutting a life so soon, without first trying to understand and recover sincerely, is unacceptable to me.

I know you're suffering, but please give yourself time to really listen to yourself and to what's behind this existential pain. And take care!
 
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star.trip

star.trip

Student
Oct 6, 2024
154
I am very happy for you. I wish you luck with it.
It's admirable determination I hope you make it.
 
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Fimbulvetr

Fimbulvetr

How do I look now? Am I unsightly? Of course I am.
Nov 7, 2023
83
Currently, no, but I did before. I hope I can reach your level again.
 
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RottenMutt

RottenMutt

Violent schizo
Oct 13, 2024
7
i... don't know. part of me wants to recover, but i fear if i do, i will end up ending someone else's life. i'm sure its possible for me to recover from being suicidal, but i'm not sure it's possible to recover from violent psychotic episodes, no medicine seems to help. if i can recover from both, then i gladly will.
 
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landmine

landmine

地雷女
Mar 12, 2023
82
i feel like this too! mainly due to having a boyfriend that actually wants a future with me.. he makes me so happy and im willing to try to get better for him, though i may relapse and such but its all apart of recovery !
 
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AvaCutey

AvaCutey

Pragmatist
Oct 9, 2024
42
i feel like this too! mainly due to having a boyfriend that actually wants a future with me.. he makes me so happy and im willing to try to get better for him, though i may relapse and such but its all apart of recovery !
Same for me, I have hope for the future because of my fiancé. I still think about my death, but I'm happy.
 
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J

Jeebo5021

Member
Oct 8, 2024
66
I'm really not sure. I keep on flip flopping between wanting to live and wanting to die. It seems to change every minute. God it just hurts. The sadness has seemed to go on forever.
 
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Eudaimonic

Eudaimonic

I want to fade away.
Aug 11, 2023
341
I vacillate, but ultimately i think i want to try to recover so that i can reduce extreme suffering. My life may be a hopeless wreck but I can still help others! I just want to at least get to the point where I am less miserable and can function well enough to do that.

This is the way I look at it because trying to recover for my own sake would be an exercise in futility given my tendency toward self-loathing and the unlikelihood of ever being happy. At least in my case it is preferable to telling myself "maybe one day i will actually be happy. it's totally worth suffering immensely prior to that hypothetical day that may or may not ever arrive while pretending that life's goods outweigh its bads." This, on the other hand, gives me a sense of purpose and something to strive toward that transcends this identity that i call "me."
 
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Mari&mewo

Mari&mewo

Member
Feb 11, 2023
24
I'm just going through the motions- there's never a moment in life when you are finally "recovered." I don't self harm, I haven't purged in 2 years, I have a long term partner and a pet and a job now. if I can just hold on a few more months... I'll try. I'm trying. I'm struggling and I want to have a life worth living.
 
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Praying 4 a Miracle

Praying 4 a Miracle

Experienced
Sep 22, 2024
247
I'm just going through the motions- there's never a moment in life when you are finally "recovered." I don't self harm, I haven't purged in 2 years, I have a long term partner and a pet and a job now. if I can just hold on a few more months... I'll try. I'm trying. I'm struggling and I want to have a life worth living.
I'm really glad to hear that you're hanging in there, I'm also in a very similar position in life. Desperately trying to have a life worth living. But it is really hard. I'm so glad that you're trying your best to recover.

There are so many people in this forum who have just given up, and seem to have no hope of recovering. It's really encouraging to hear from someone like yourself, who is really trying to turn your life around and make it into something good again. You're a huge inspiration to me, please keep up the great work!

I'd love it if you could keep me posted every now and then on how you're doing! ☺️
 
Mari&mewo

Mari&mewo

Member
Feb 11, 2023
24
I'm really glad to hear that you're hanging in there, I'm also in a very similar position in life. Desperately trying to have a life worth living. But it is really hard. I'm so glad that you're trying your best to recover.

There are so many people in this forum who have just given up, and seem to have no hope of recovering. It's really encouraging to hear from someone like yourself, who is really trying to turn your life around and make it into something good again. You're a huge inspiration to me, please keep up the great work!

I'd love it if you could keep me posted every now and then on how you're doing! ☺️
Your so sweet??? I will say I'm one of those people who have certainly reached that "given up hope" portion before, and... well eventually if you keep treating your life like your planning to die; and you can't pull the trigger? it goes bad for you. So I'm finally over the hard parts it takes to do day to day. keep your head up- you seem like someone who wants to have faith. is that maybe why you went with the pfp u did?
 
Praying 4 a Miracle

Praying 4 a Miracle

Experienced
Sep 22, 2024
247
Your so sweet??? I will say I'm one of those people who have certainly reached that "given up hope" portion before, and... well eventually if you keep treating your life like your planning to die; and you can't pull the trigger? it goes bad for you. So I'm finally over the hard parts it takes to do day to day. keep your head up- you seem like someone who wants to have faith. is that maybe why you went with the pfp u did?
Yes, 100%, I am literally praying for a miracle (for all of us)!

I respect everyone's opinion and belief when it comes to this, but for me personally, I really do feel that a miracle is definitely my best, and probably only option for complete recovery.
 
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