Venting I am evil

[gnarly]

Im narcissistic and somewhat have a nihilistic mindset. I enjoy violence. Watching normal things usually like muaythai and old practical action movies during the day whenever I'm around others or family members. I'll sometimes watch gorey horror films aswell. Whenever I'm alone in my room however, I tend to watch war combat videos. Executions. And aswell as other categories. As a kid I would pick up ants and rip there heads off. I liked to burn spiders and lizards alive. When I was 11 I played with an Elmo stuffed toy. I proceeded to hang it. Shove pin needles in his eyes. I got a blade and I'd cut open his neck then stomach. I would then rip all the cotton out. I laughed sometimes. Sometimes I would be silent and throw everything away without any noticing me. When I was a teenager I had a gf who was into a lot of bdsm like me. We were making out once when I was choking her because she asked me to. I wrapped my hands around her throat and zoned out for a second before coming back and stopping myself. she almost passed out. I hesitated now whenever I kissed her and built a fear towards choking kind of. I was still into it. I have a post earlier about how I like blood. There are many things wrong with me. I honestly deserve to die. I say earth is hell. I am already a demon. Not to sound cringe lmao. There is no hope for me to go anywhere good.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I was going to say there's definitely still hope for you as far as going to heaven until I got to the bit where you disemboweled Elmo. I don't think any God could condone such behavior. Sucks to be you, man.

 

[SixNeufUn]

honestly as long you dont act on those thoughts and on innocent it's pretty fine.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Idk, some women don't mind being choked and instead actually enjoy it. At least you were able to have a girlfriend and as society dictates, that morally puts you ahead of so many other types of evil men (like incels like me). But seriously, I don't mean to invalidate your feelings. If you feel evil at least try to enjoy it, unlike me who is so evil I made this post for you more as an excuse to continue dunking on myself.