• Hey Guest,

    As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. The UK and OFCOM has singled out this community and have been focusing its censorship efforts here. It takes a good amount of resources to maintain the infrastructure for our community and to resist this censorship. We would appreciate any and all donations.

    Bitcoin Address (BTC): 39deg9i6Zp1GdrwyKkqZU6rAbsEspvLBJt

    Ethereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9

    Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8

motherwithtwoheads

motherwithtwoheads

Member
Nov 27, 2024
5
ive recently had such a hard time finding my way through life. dont get me wrong, i live the same routine of studying and working, all very much the same as before. but recently i had an incident where a close friend of multiple years told me he had feelings for me (fir the second time, i rejected him after about a year of friendship). it might seem like no big deal but to me it was the last straw on my back. there had already been underlying problems like the loss of a close friend to drugs and eventually suicide, being burnt out, recent breakup with my long term partner, and breaking my sobriety of weed and alcohol after a really long time. anyway the whole situation made me spiral and i had a manic episode and ended up relapsing to self harm after over a year of being clean, and almost bought coke after being sober for over 2 years. (i started taking amphetamine based prescription drugs - not mine)

Its been almost a month since this incident and i've constantly had urges to self harm or take stronger drugs/ get wasted because i feel like thats the only way i can feel anything at all instead of just greyness. i am confused as to how im supposed to get out of this cycle and how i will keep living. i want to clear up once more that this is NOT my friends fault, he could not have known my situation.

please, if you have any advice.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: Forever Sleep, arandomname, alienfreak and 1 other person
Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,111
Did the friend freak you out too much. It happens. Can you work through it with them?

Another friends death can kick you into a spiral. You seem to share problems and it reactivated your dependancy issues.

Can you break this behavior?
 
motherwithtwoheads

motherwithtwoheads

Member
Nov 27, 2024
5
Did the friend freak you out too much. It happens. Can you work through it with them?

Another friends death can kick you into a spiral. You seem to share problems and it reactivated your dependancy issues.

Can you break this behavior?
i did talk to the friend and we came to the conclusion that its best if we do not speak for the time being.

me and the late friend did have a very dependent relationship especially dealing with similar issues and supporting each other through it. i dont know how to change the way i am reacting to this.

tips are appreciated
 
Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,111
Are there any groups that can help you process these issues after your friends death. There are others that share these problems
 
motherwithtwoheads

motherwithtwoheads

Member
Nov 27, 2024
5
Are there any groups that can help you process these issues after your friends death. There are others that share these problems
i should look into that . thank youšŸ«¶šŸ»
 
  • Love
Reactions: Worndown

Similar threads

Z
Replies
8
Views
401
Suicide Discussion
AtLast
A
chaosdrifter
Replies
0
Views
93
Suicide Discussion
chaosdrifter
chaosdrifter
Idideverythingwrong
Replies
22
Views
364
Suicide Discussion
girlsboysthems
girlsboysthems
N
Replies
4
Views
181
Offtopic
derpyderpins
derpyderpins