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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,703
Tomorrow will be my first day in that clinic. I went there several years ago and the clinic boss told me to that time I felt too good for a clinic stay. Despite the fact I felt nightmarish. 1-2 weeks ago I was at another day clinic and the psychiatrist said I felt too bad for being in a day clinic and I had to go to a clinic where I have to stay over night. I really don't want that. I am in a weird position. I am very anxious. I am unsure what to tell. How much of the truth are they able to handle?

The thing with just reach out is tricky. I am reaching out to people but I have the feeling most people don't care. Or they are overburdened with a severely chronically suicidal person that is just a wreck unable to live. And I am exactly that. Sorry I already posted a thread about this dilemma but I am so fucking anxious. I am scared to overburden my closest friends, support network and my self-help group. I cannot endure much more. SaSu is one of the few places I can be fully honest. Only in front of two of my closest friends I can be fully unfiltered oterwise. And I am aware that this number is already pretty high.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,186
Good luck!! Are u in the clinic now? I hope everything goes well for you!! :heart:🫂
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
11,152
I really hope it goes well. It's natural to be nervous given your past experiences. I hope they are more supportive this time.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,703
I am at home again. It is only a day clinic. I told a lot but not everything. I also mentioned I visit a suicide forum. And I am still free. I still have my freedom as I assumed I emphasized like a thousand times I am not acute suicidal. But I think this was unnecessary. I will tell this story this evening. Turn in and watch it only live at SaSu roundabout 9 pm. GMT+2. If I am too exhausted I will post it tomorrow.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,703
Here is how it went (partly). I am exhausted. Cried again.

I really hope it goes well. It's natural to be nervous given your past experiences. I hope they are more supportive this time.
The highest boss there even thanked me for coming to his clinic After I thanked him for welcoming me. This dude knew that I am very desperate and that there is not much hope left for me.
(I think he also said that because I told him otherwise I would have killed myself a few weeks ago.
 
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