I am so mad that I asked for help only to get hurt again

[Teddybear]

I am sure many of you know the feeling of rejection but for me it was still a big dissapointment.

After another bad breakdown I finally decided to give psycholigical counseling a try. Since I am very limited in my mobillity (got no car), know no one in the area and have to switch residences frequently, I decided to go to a psychological Webforum and ask them for references for online counselling. I know that such services exist, but I didn't want to rely on Google. So I was looking for some real life pointers.

Instead the very first reply I got was: "The Internet is full of fakes, go and seek a counselor or psychologist out on the ground."

To which I replied that I didn't have a car, no such services are offered in my area and that I can't take entire days off for it.
So I needed an online counseling option.

To that I was told: "Where there is a will there is a way. Don't be a cry baby. If you got to travel a few hundred miles per session, so what? And in any case its your life, isn't it?"

That same stupid piece of "advice" did the grown ups give me throughout my entire *fucked up* childhood - and now I am supposed to travel "a few hundred miles" just to be told that same ninsense, "don't be such a cry baby?!!

What the f*ck kind of psych-counseling style is that? You meet a person at his most vulnerable and then you tell him: "Hey, its your life - straighten out and fly right!"

I feel so foolish and so suicidal right now, if I had a gun by my side I wouldn't last the night. :(

 

[jodes2]

Hey just ignore twats who say shit like that. They've demonstrated that their opinion is not valuable at all so discard it

 

[Teddybear]

I would say the same to others. But it feels different when its you who got fooled.

If I could solve my problems by sheer will power, then I would have no psychological problems. That was supposed to be a pro-life forum governed by "Netiquette" and monitored by professionals

And then that's the greeting you get in their chat room. F*ck that whole profession. :(

All these years I thought: "If I would only take the time and money to seek professional help."

And now the thought to sit there, tell him all about me and my struggles, only to be told in turn: "Don't be such a whuss" outright mortifies me.
I think I'll be checking out of this place soon. I won't be catching no bus, for I am going nowhere.

Gosh, all "they" tell you is to get your act together and function propperly. That's it. That's the whole mystery of "counseling". Stop crying and act like a man!

 

[theboy]

Don't listen to those words. they are just idiots

 

[Teddybear]

I quit that forum after just 1 day.

The news and the media are full of talk about a "we care" culture, demanding you sacrifice your time and money for a 1000+1 noble yet anonymous causes.

But the moment you yourself seek help, they tell you to "stop whining and get your act together!".

"Where there is a will there is a way" he said to me verbatim. Its one of the most callous remarks, insinuating that if things don't work out its your fault. Because you just didn't have enough will power.

It's a fine piece of advise for a psychology forum.

And it upsets me that I had to come to sanctioned-suicide - this forum so lambasted and vilified - to escape from that.

Is this truly how the outside world - despite all their false claims of empathy - views "us"?
As folks that only make trouble where there is none and simply lack the willpower to succeed?

 

[Sick&TiredURGH]

Maybe Google might be the better option?

Tried, Tested, and Expert-Approved: The 13 Online Therapy Services We Recommend

Looking for online therapy? Our mental health experts tested and reviewed 80 online therapy services to help you find the right one for your needs. Our reviews include factors such as cost, therapist availability, and user care.

www.verywellmind.com

 

[Teddybear]

I actually did thrust myself on the search engine. But that again shows how messed up our world is:

I have to entrust myself in a moment of dire emotional need to the calleous algorithm of a search engine because humans made of flesh & bone showed that they couldn't care less.

Now I just took the first pick, because I got no one else to reference it with. That portal has good ratings - but I can't say who wrote them.

This is the closest I've come in years to "checking out". I don't like the term "Catching the Bus", because it suggests that death takes you somewhere. Preferrably somewhere pleasureable.

But I know that all death will have in store for me are worms and wet dirt.